Going back to an abusive relationship

[purplepavements]

Hi
I have namechanged as I wanted to hear advice and maybe experiences without people having the info from my previous thread.
I am seriously considering going back to my ex. I feel like it's safer and easier to be back with him. He never hurt my dd and she's the only one I really care about. Has anyone had any good experience of going back because since leaving him I just feel shitter than ever.
Tia

Oh purple, my dear, can you phone someone, Women's Aid, or your gp? I can see that you feel alone and unsupported in rl, and it would be so much easier not to press charges, but he'll hurt you, he'll hurt you really badly.

purple do you have anyone from Victim Support that you can contact? or Womens Aid? There must be somebody out there who will help you through this

what do you think will happen if you drop the charges? He will just come round and attack you again. Is that what you mean when you say you want it all back like it was? Him assaulting you? You ending up in hospital?

Please get the support that you need to get you through this, but please dont drop the charges.

Purple do you have any support in place now that you are out of hospital?

When the person comes to speak to you about dropping the case, you might have things explained to you that will help you to carry on with it. Make sure that you have the emergency contact number for victim support.

Please keep posting purple, no matter what you do - drop the charges or not. I know none of us think dropping them is a good idea, but none of us are walking in your shoes.

Whatever, you will probably need some support, and that is something MN is pretty good at, so please take advantage of that.

Good luck, my dear

Purple I can imagine how scared and alone you feel right now, but dropping the charges won't help.

You need support to get through this. Please tell the person that comes round that you need that in real life. We'll be here for you, but you need more. Please don't let that man walk free and back into your life.

Jux is right purple. Keep posting, no matter what you decide. We're still here for you.

I'm here still and I haven't dropped the charges

Well done purple. That's a big step.

Do you want to tell us a bit more about what happened or how you're feeling?

Well done!

Well done

What a strong, super, formidable woman you are purple.

When you are ready, talk to us about it on here. (Don't forget you have my telephone numbers on the fridge if you want to talk to someone directly).

I think I told you that when I was going through my court case for DV (someone I got close to after my DH died) I fluctuated between 'prosecute him' and 'I can't do this'. It is a normal reaction - particularly when you haven't dealt with the grief of losing your DD yet.

Have you got a Victim Support number?

You can always call The Samaritans - day or night:

08457 90 90 90 (UK)
116 123 (ROI)

Or email [email protected] if you can't speak on the phone.

Take care

Purple - I haven't posted before but have been following your thread.

Just had to say, I'm in awe of your strength over this. With all the horrible and painful things that have happened in your life it would have been so easy to bury your head in the sand and do nothing.

But you are stronger than that. You have found the courage to begin to rescue your life. Take all the help you can get - and KOKO.

Morning purple. How are you today?

I have a busy day at work but I'll be thinking of you and will check in when I can.

Purple, well done! That was a big step. Sooooo glad you're still here

and (((((((hug)))))))

Well done!

Great news purple! You are tremendously strong!

I want and need to be better now otherwise I don't know what I'm going to do I want to make it better. There's so many people trying to help me bit it's all so much to take in and remember.

Lovely purple, it is a such a lot to take in, I know. Just take it slowly, don't rush things. Small steps lead to huge strides, they say. You have taken several huge strides already, so you you can take pride in that! And small steps is enough for now.

Rest, eat, sleep. If you can't sleep, talk to your gp. It you can't eat, stick with bananas or something like it, nutritious and easy to swallow.

What sort of things do you enjoy doing? Are you creative; are you studious, or musical? Try something new, knitting, making cards, something which helps to pass the time, but doesn't take too much energy.

Are you still at work Purple or have you been signed off for a bit?

It's still really early days - not even 20 days since you first posted on this thread.

So although I think you're bound to feel that you should be getting better with this amount of support (you deserve far more) I think you should be easy on yourself.

Give yourself time. Try to think of a few nice little things to do for yourself every day.

And look after yourself - eat sleep exercise bathe. I am thinking of you and wishing you great comfort. x

Are you still at work Purple or have you been signed off for a bit?

It's still really early days - not even 20 days since you first posted on this thread.

So although I think you're bound to feel that you should be getting better with this amount of support (you deserve far more) I think you should be easy on yourself.

Give yourself time. Try to think of a few nice little things to do for yourself every day.

And look after yourself - eat sleep exercise bathe.

I am thinking of you and wishing you great comfort. x

I agree purple, little steps is the best way at the moment. It's early days and you need to look after yourself. I'm so pleased and proud of you. Wish I could give you a hug.

Just checking in purple.

How are you today?

You keep going purple

Just popping in to say goodnight, purple.

Imagine all our thoughts of you are turning into a soft, warm blanket. Wrap yourself up in it, take some deep breaths and close your eyes.

Try to sleep.

X