Going back to an abusive relationship

[purplepavements]

Hi
I have namechanged as I wanted to hear advice and maybe experiences without people having the info from my previous thread.
I am seriously considering going back to my ex. I feel like it's safer and easier to be back with him. He never hurt my dd and she's the only one I really care about. Has anyone had any good experience of going back because since leaving him I just feel shitter than ever.
Tia

I'm sure you'd rather not be in hospital ideally but it's good that you're not alone and people will be able to care for you while you are struggling. We all want you to get through this. You're a valuable person. Hope things get a little better day by day.

You're not going to lose people here, purple.

I hope you're not in too bad a state. You'll be looked after in hospital, with people around you.

We're not going anywhere purple. Glad you're in a safe place getting some rl support as well.

Let us know when you want to talk a bit more.

And I'd like to buy you tea and cake as well. I work in London.

I don't know what to say my words are jumbled up but I don't want to be alone and I know I don't know you but you feel like my friends

We are your friends purple, we are all here for you.
I'm really glad you are in hospital.

Dear Purple, I am glad you are getting the support you need. I know that folk on your thread are all here for you and will be in the coming weeks and months, or for however long you wish. You aren't alone if you have MN behind you

I'm glad you're in a place where you are getting some real life help, Purple.

Here's a virtual (((hug))) for you.

Hi purple

Hope there are a few bright moments today. We're all still here for you if you want to talk (or not)

I was thinking about you driving to the station this morning. When you're feeling stronger, I'll share my thoughts with you - they were very positive and strong I promise.

Purple you are in exactly the right place. (We talked about professional support and care when we spoke on the phone.)

You are in deep, deep grief regarding the loss of DD and without professional support you will not heal. For a start, you need to sleep properly. That is something you haven't done since you lost DD because your mind is frightened you'll forget.

But, we are NOT going anywhere. Tell us as little or as much as you want us to know. Speak to us only when you want to. We'll keep posting messages to show that we hold you in our hearts with love.

Take care

We are your friends purple and we're not going anywhere. I'm glad that you are in a safe place and being looked after. I've been thinking about you a lot this week. Hang in there.

Been at work today, but have been thinking of you, purple.

Hi Purple,

I hope you are getting the help and support you need. Remember, you are now very safe. Talk to the professionals about your DD and how much you miss her. Say how that makes you feel inside.

think about:

• tummy (sick? butteflies?)
• heart (beats louder? goes faster?)
• head (almost passing out?)
• overall (hot flushes? sleepy? lethargic? can't face daily chores? )

I'll keep logging into your thread to see if you have posted an update. If you don't post, I'll write to you to say how I am thinking about you.

I too think you are in the right place. Perhaps you're there without a phone charger I wonder. Hoping you are OK. Is there anything small/practical I could send you? I'm hoping you are getting some rest and help and the right medication

I'm here I am so very tired. I just wanted to forget it all. I'm on some medicine which is making me feel very slow. They have moved me to a different hospital which felt like a very long journey

Thank you for your messages. They really do mean so much. I feel like I have friends which is so nice

There are people here who care about you Purple. Keep posting to let us know how you are.

Take care.

Keep up the good work!

It's good to hear from you, Purple.

Yeah, medication can sometimes do that (the slowing down). You probably needed to slow down a bit, though, with all the difficult thoughts and events going on.

Keep on taking care of yourself. Rest well tonight! We're all here thinking about you.

Great to hear from you purple. The meds slowing you down is probably what you need but it must feel strange.

Are there people around that you can talk to about how you feel? Remember that you can always let them read your posts here if that's easier.

Hope you sleep well. You're in my thoughts and prayers

How are you getting on today, Purple? Hope the meds are beginning to settle and everyone in hospital is looking after you.

Just to let you know that I am thinking about you purple.

The meds will slow you down and will help you to sleep to heal your body and mind. Remember, you are very safe where you are. You can trust the professional people around you who are making sure that you are well looked after whilst they help you through this phase.

Are you managing to eat anything?

Are you able to talk to other patients yet?

Keep up the good work.

I just want To go home I'm not ill I'm just tired

I think you probably need to stay where you are for now purple. I think sometimes we don't realise how unwell we are until we feel better and look back.

I hope you are getting the care you need.

Purple you almost accepted your deep grief when we chatted on the phone.

Deep grief makes you feel desperately tired. That is an illness in itself.

Please stay in the hospital so that you are safe and looked after. When you feel stronger, you will be able to think about DD without crying. It is okay to long for her and wish she hadn't died, but she would want you to get strong again and carry her in your heart.

I'm ready to go home. I need to go home now. I'm very tired but not ill. I don't want all these drugs either. I just want my mum back.