Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Affair Part 5 - fab phee kicks arse wearing her skinny jeans

999 replies

OpheliaRose · 19/05/2015 21:02

Many you will have read my threads 1 2 3 4

A month ago I discovered my Husband had been having an affair with a girl from his work. I thought it was one of the most painful moments of my life but the subsequent day where far more painful when the full extent of his betrayal was exposed to me and he has shown no remorse or sorrow over the loss of our marriage in fact he has left me for the OW

I have started divorce procedures on the grounds of adultery each day is proving a struggle but I am getting through it with the help of all of you.

All I want when this is over is for me and my Twins to be happy. We all deserve so much better than him

OP posts:
Original poster
OpheliaRose · 21/05/2015 17:25

Aloha wow well I've just finished catching up and I'm sure many others have said it way better than me andninapolohiesnifnsome of my anger is misplaced at you since you are not the OW in my relationship issues but you pretty much lack any level of self decency to post a message like that on my thread you are just come tell self centred and clearly out trying to find a way to decent your spineless cruel behaviour. If you truely were unhappy with your DH and your now H was unhappy with his ex wife then mazal tov to you both for finding each other. However you should have had the decency and respect for both partners to wait till you'd ended your marriages before starting anything physical

You have my deepest sympathies that your son decided to stay with his dad although from your attitude I would say he made the right decision and I hope his father realises what a sensible not he has.

Please do not try and compare your love story to my issues you have no clue on what my relationship was like with H before OW came back Ito his life in a mor prominent way. You have input I personally care to read so please take your self-centred justifications for wrecking the lives of others else where.

I wish you the best and I hope your now husband doesn't find someone on a bus journey.

OP posts:
Original poster
OpheliaRose · 21/05/2015 17:29

Aloha wow well I've just finished catching up and I'm sure many others have said it way better than me and pleas excuse me if my anger is misplaced at you since you are not the OW in my relationship issues but you pretty much lack any level of self decency to post a message like that on my thread you are just come tell self centred and clearly out trying to find a way to decent your spineless cruel behaviour. If you truely were unhappy with your DH and your now H was unhappy with his ex wife then mazal tov to you both for finding each other. However you should have had the decency and respect for both partners to wait till you'd ended your marriages before starting anything physical

You have my deepest sympathies that your son decided to stay with his dad although from your attitude I would say he made the right decision and I hope his father realises what a sensible not he has.

Please do not try and compare your love story to my issues you have no clue on what my relationship was like with H before OW came back Ito his life in a mor prominent way. You have no input I personally care to read so please take your self-centred justifications for wrecking the lives of others else where.

I wish you the best and I hope your now husband doesn't find someone on a bus journey

OP posts:
laurierf · 21/05/2015 17:30

That is what I call arse-kicking Phee! Star

fairnotfit · 21/05/2015 17:36

Flowers Flowers Flowers

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 21/05/2015 18:42

I was just about to post how kind it was that so many people were sharing their own personal experiences, sharing their pain to make someone feel better. What an epic cross post that wouldve been!

But seriously, there are some very kind women on this thread and it can't be easy relating obviously painful times.

Christinayanglah · 21/05/2015 18:49

Well done phee

Smooshface · 21/05/2015 19:09

When my ex was tell me about his OW, he told me he was upset I wasn't 'happy that they found each other'. This smacks of that, the total delusion that their lightning bolt love should be something to be celebrated and that I would want him to be happy in the arms of another, for true love, rather the fake love we had shared for years? Really wish I'd properly told him to go fuck himself, but I was too surprised by all the revelations at the time.

Phoenix0x0 · 21/05/2015 19:18

Wow, wow, wow.

What a day to work hey!

Well done phee....totally kicking arse wearing your skinny jeans, whilst kicking aloha up the proverbial Grin

I want to read that post of hers again!

Rosieliveson · 21/05/2015 19:23

Skinny jean Phee strikes again Grin Well said

sumbodi · 21/05/2015 19:32

Hope the handover has been tolerable this evening Phee...
Have you made plans for the weekend? Bit more changing around of the house, furniture etc. ? Keep on removing him from your home.

MaMaof04 · 21/05/2015 19:35

Bravo Fab Phee.
Now Phee to serious matters:
how about doing some shopping this week end?.
Some business outfit? Another skinny jeans and some very pointy shoes with some punk nails/bolts on the points to kick all the assholes that keep popping up around us?
kisses!

AndyWarholsOrange · 21/05/2015 19:39

Phee Don't be so mean to aloha She only wanted to share her happy story with you! I think she was dying for everyone to ask her about how she found true love on that fateful train journey.
There really aren't words to express my admiration and respect for you. I'm sure if I was in your shoes, I'd still be curled up in a ball on the sofa. In the space of a month, you've got your hair cut, reinvented your image, had a night out and you're about to go back to work. You are truly awesome and it's great to hear you ROAR.
You have an amazing future ahead of you.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 21/05/2015 19:39

sumbodi
Hope the handover has been tolerable this evening Phee...

Oh yes, handover was tonight. How did it go?

Frizzybear · 21/05/2015 19:44

ophelia beautiful, well bloody done, this is not the thread for 2 timing bleeding heart stories, what a self absorbed dick of a woman, we are nearly 5 weeks in now baby girl, think about you every day, not doing so good here, but tomorrow is another dayWink look at your thread every day, you seem so strong, keep it up, FlowersStarStarStar

Phoenix0x0 · 21/05/2015 19:45

Good idea mamao4 !

Phee consider these for Le buisness attire:

Peg leg trouser....possibly patterned....but plain will do.
Sixties shift dress
Pencil skirt
Coloured blazer
Pointy court/pump

Now if you are feeling very kick arse!

A Short suit.....(jacket with matching shorts) Grin

Hope th hand over went well too.

BettyCatKitten · 21/05/2015 21:07

Delurking to offer continued support.
Aloha badly doneConfused

LondonRocks · 21/05/2015 21:17

Oh everyone, stop getting at Aloha. She's only gone and found herself happiness. Sure as fuck sounds like it. Or was that a wail of MEEEEEEEE! Oh MEEEEEE!

Sorry, had some prosecco.

Toasting Phee Wine who is amazing.

Anyway, back to my domestic chores, doing the boring married shite that some people think warrants fucking a stranger.

GERTI · 21/05/2015 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
OpheliaRose · 21/05/2015 21:37

It was hard sending the twins of with Daddy for a look round his new house. I told him that he wasn't to refer to it as their new home just daddy's house.

It was hard seeing him again he still looks great - I don't know how to describe it but he is looking more attractive if possible and happy really I guess is the best way. I had the twins ready to go said my piece about not calling it their new home and basically shut the door in his face. I didn't want to leave it open to "friendly" chatter

When he brought them back i asked where he had got the new car seats. He said OW had given him her spare ones. That got my back up a bit but i resisted the urge to say anything to petty he's not worth the time right now.

He's picking them up again Saturday 9am for whatever this day trip is he's arranged. I still don;t trust him so I keep wondering if OW will magically appear at the place they are going.

While they are away Saturday I guess i could go shopping. I tried looking for work clothes the other day and failed miserably.

OP posts:
Vivacia · 21/05/2015 21:42

I don't know how to describe it but he is looking more attractive if possible and happy really

Well, for a start you're seeing him at his best, at his freshest. Secondly, you're not seeing him at his worse - you're not seeing him with morning breath or sat on the toilet.

I do hope that you can resist chit chat with him for the time being.

Four words - Debenhams Free Personal Shopper.

derxa · 21/05/2015 21:45

Oh darling I feel so sorry for you tonight. I don't mean to be patronising.
You still love him. Remember what he's done. He's an arsehole.
Best wishes. xxx

Ledkr · 21/05/2015 21:50

Oh dear that's hard when they look well, all you can do is what you did do and cut it short and move on with your day.

Remember this won't last forever, you will feel indifference in time my sweet.

LondonRocks · 21/05/2015 21:57

He probably had a spruce up. Probably looks shite the rest of the time.

Ugly on the inside...

Ledkr · 21/05/2015 22:06

You know what, London possibly has a point, he's acted so twisted I wouldn't be at all surprised if he spruced himself up to pick up the kids, just to rub it in the bastard.
He'll be thinking about you the same way soon.

TakemeforwhatIam · 21/05/2015 22:06

Gosh it's hard, sounds like you held your dignity again though, no idea how you do that but so proud of you. Work clothes- I like next, I love a good dress, tights on colder days and bare legs when hot. No need to think of two seperate items that match just throw on a dress, cute shoes and bag, hair messy, bare makeup look and you're good to go.