Hi Phee,
Don't worry about meeting up for mediation next week. You should look on this as a opportunity to start making plans for what you want / need.
The thing is you need to get very prepared for this meeting, in doing this you need to be very clear about what you want and will tolerate.
Be very clear on one thing. He knows exactly what he wants and is going to go in there with a very clear focus. If you are not ready, you are going to have a very tough time.
He has his plans very clear.
He wants 50/50, this indicates he doesn't want to pay you any maintenance going forward. He will indicate he has been more than accommodating for the last few weeks in allowing you to get used to the new living arrangements! FFS!
He wants your DTs to go to the same creche as OW child, you mentioned this before. He will see this as a need ( he will want to get the children bonding),for his work, he will require this as part of his 50/50 maintenance plan.
He knows you are going to have to go back to work, he won't have to look after you once the divorce is final, your problem is even when you go back to work, you will never have his earning potential.
He really wants to push you right aside and get on with his life.
You.
RE custody: Going forward, to say you will be working ie 3 days a week, Mon, Tues, Thurs. Would it be acceptable for him to take the DTs Tues and Thurs evenings. (then drop them home to you in the evening). Then 2 days every second weekend. ( Fri, Sat. night).
I would not mention your job plans right now, he does not need to know about this right now. He will only use this to his advantage. Please don't mention it.
Also he will bring up the subject of child care ( as mentioned above).
Don't talk to him about childcare until you have your DTs set up in the child care of your choice, reason for this being he will try and push for his chosen child care near his work.
If he mentions OW in the meeting, tell him very directly/assertively:" Do not mention OW to me again or in any manner in relation to our DC."
You need to make it very clear to him.
You are the one who walked out on our family for OW.
You are going to have to face the consequence for your actions, it is a well known fact when a family break up, the financial living standard of the family as a whole come down. Don't let it just be you. Do not let him get away without paying maintenance.
You need the house and will need to work out how you are going to pay the mortgage with your salary and whatever he needs to pay going forward.
He will get into finances very quickly, especially now as he is paying for an additional apartment. Be ready for that. Do not accept any statement from him that he is only going to pay for x amount of time.
One thing you need to do over the next few days, is actually practice your answers, for this meeting.Practice what you will need to say. This will really help to prepare you. One proven method is to actually stand straight in front of a mirror, feet apart, hands on your hips ( confidence stance) and say what you need to say. You may feel awkward doing this initially but honestly repeating this, actually builds your confidence.
You need to really look after yourself over the next few days. The last thing you want is to start breaking down in the meeting and getting emotional, please try to avoid this, there will be plenty of time for crying once you get home. He won't be too emotional, right now he has 2 women after him. If you can, have a member of your family with you ( outside) so they can take you home afterwards. Don't get into any conversations with him.
Be strong, assertive and clam and you'll get on fine.
Hope this helps!