Just found this message on DH work phone

[gubbygubby]

It was DH birthday yesterday.
I've just dneaked his work phone out his suit jacket and found the following text
" happy birthday bubbles hope ur ok x"
The number is listed under Craig
I rand the number on my phone and predictably a woman answered .
I've texted and asked who bubbles is and she replied I must have made a mistake.
I texted again and included the screen shot but she fobbed me off , said she had no idea what I was on about.
My DH has changed her to a male name in his phone and she texted him yesterday. At 7.45 am on his birthday yesterday.
He has form for this kind of thing. The most recent only in February.
I left his phone out in our room. He went upstairs and took it.
He has now gone out " to the shop"
I've changed her number to mine in his phone so hoping to catch them

[Christinayanglah]

He's probably met her on some sort of site. Even if you domains out more, what will that achieve? It sounds as if this is constant issue so why stay?

If it is sex addiction, he isn't just going to get over it and this means a life of hell for you....and potentially a very dangerous one

[wannabestressfree]

What I don't get is why your last posts have been about the woman? Why is she hostile? Why not say more? I would be directing your justified anger at the man who has fallen asleep/ gone out/ tripped over his cock into other fannies.....
You are just going to repeat and repeat this experience as,much like a small child, you aren't dealing with the issue. Throw him out!!!

[gubbygubby]

There is nothing to explain and this is the last message I am going to reply to , I haven't got anything else to say. The one thing I remember from the time I worked with xxxx years ago is how much he loved and adored you and the children. You have absolutely nothing to worry about I can promise you
I have just got this message from (Ow)

[gubbygubby]

But, if this relationship is all wistful like she makes out from years ago, why is she texting him at 7.45 on his birthday? Doesnt add up does it?

[magoria]

Well you know that is bollocks because of the Happy Birthday message.

A random work colleague from years ago would not remember his birthday.

He has primed her that you are on to them.

[Christinayanglah]

No it doesn't, because it is bullshit. But really, what does it matter, she is one of many, this one incident isn't the issue

[magoria]

I would be tempted to text her back saying something like 'thanks but don't worry you are one in a string I have found out about' he is all yours.

[IAmAShitHotLawyer]

Are you sure he's at the dentist before "he always comes home afterwards and falls asleep"?

What did he have done/

[Partyringer]

Gosh OP, he's a nightmare!

[SlightlyJaded]

I would do what Magoria suggested I think.

If she is sleeping with your DH and you send her a breezy "you are the least of my worries, you one of many" type message, you may tip her into a jealous pique causing her to slip up.

The potential benefit of this is that you would have evidence in writing. But I'm not sure what you'd do about it, even then?

[DragonsCanHop]

It is utterly draining for you op.

He is never going to give you a straight answer is he?

Second phones, numbers under another name... It's all so time consuming of your emotions, how are you?

You will cope without him. You will feel empowered and full of can do if you throw his arse out, even just for now to give you space to not have to check his phone and worry about what he is doing. Time to think about making you and the DC happy.

[HappenstanceMarmite]

I would be tempted to text her back saying something like 'thanks but don't worry you are one in a string I have found out about' he is all yours.

Yes do this OP. Flush her out.

[pictish]

The one thing I remember from the time I worked with xxxx years ago is how much he loved and adored you and the children. You have absolutely nothing to worry about I can promise you

I think she over-eggs the pudding there. But that is me...I am like that. Cynical to a fault. Lots of superlative and gushing reassurance there... she promises you. You have to wonder why.

[alphabook]

Would you text an old work colleague you haven't had any contact with in ages to wish them happy birthday and call them "bubbles"? I know I wouldn't.

[Fontella]

The one thing I remember from the time I worked with xxxx years ago is how much he loved and adored you and the children. You have absolutely nothing to worry about I can promise you

Oh ffs - they seriously don't think you are going to swallow this shite do they?

Text her back.

It's ok love - you are welcome to Bubbles. His hobbies are watching porn and chasing women and you are just the latest in a long line

[HappenstanceMarmite]

It's ok love - you are welcome to Bubbles. His hobbies are watching porn and chasing women and you are just the latest in a long line

Bingo!

[cozietoesie]

Just finish it with him and end all of this foolishness, OP.

[RJnomore]

It does sound suspicious but there is one colleague I worked with years ago, struck up a close friendship with, and have not seen for years since we both moved to other jobs. I wouldn't text him with a nickname but I DO remember his birthday, because it is a day after one of my children, and most years I will text or email him.

Nothing in it. He was a great colleague to me and we got on very very well but apart from occasional emails through work we don't stay in touch, though he did invite me to his wedding a couple of years back.

But this, it sounds odd OP. it sounds really odd.

[Koalafications]

Her message is a load of bollocks.

Knowing it was his birthday?
Texting him early in the morning?
Bubbles?

FFS, they haven't even came up with a good story

[AnyFucker]

OP, stop wasting your time playing text tennis with some woman your partner has been nobbing, just the latest in a long line

Where is your self respect ?

You are not going to listen to us though, are you ? You will give this other poor sap some grief then it will be business as usual with your sexually incontinent bloke. As long as he comes home to you though, eh ?

Deary me

[AuntyBrenda]

Hope you are ok OP I always shy away from the LTB camp but from the bottom of my heart LEAVE THE BASTARD!