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Original poster

if you were asked out on a date by a woman you've just met

178 replies

beaglesaresweet · 10/05/2015 01:34

I mean, not just asked out under pretence, but actually for a drink and 'to see how you feel'. If you were a single woman over 50, and not had gay relationships but if you were 'off men', not dating and bad recent history with men, would you be curious enough to at least go on a date without giving any promises? Assuming you do like the look and personality of the person who asked you, of course.

What I really want to know is, how many women would consider an experiment with a stranger who appealed to them in general terms, at least as far as kissing. And how many would reject it out of habit of a lifetime, or the fact that they are not open-minded enough?

Would you feel that because you've never done it before by your 50s-60s, there is no point expermenting as you can't be attarcted and it would be too ridiculous or reckless ?

I was reading about Navratilova, apparently she came out as a bi- first, but really she calls herself gay now. Her wife had a husband and kids before. But you know, this is celebs, would an older 'normal' woman with grown kids be brave enough)?

Another question, would you ignore the offer if not interested, I'm talking about texting or online, or would you politely reply with a 'no thanks' and be flattered if you've only met that woman once?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/05/2015 14:52

I misunderstood the op too

I thought this other woman had asked BAS out on a date.

Justusemyname · 10/05/2015 14:53

And me

Trills · 10/05/2015 15:19

Yep, I definitely read the OP the other way around.

shirleybasseyslovechild · 10/05/2015 15:54

I'd say no thank you . because I'm not a lesbian

CheersMedea · 10/05/2015 15:58

I'm not sure that answers here would be very helpful because really you are asking about a specific situation.

My answer would be, like others, I'm not interested in a sexual relationship with a woman because I'm heterosexual. That would not change even if I was suddenly divorced/widowed/bored in my 50s/ lonely etc.

I may very well agree to go for a drink with a woman asking me for a drink because (being heterosexual) I would assume it was just as a friend.

You real question is "is there a chance this woman is bisexual" - which is v. context dependent and no one here can answer that.

Leviticus · 10/05/2015 16:18

Ok sorry, I think I misunderstood your OP too.

Milllli · 10/05/2015 16:36

I would have to disagree with the thought you had that women over 50 are more attractive than men though. For the last ten years I have found myself loving the bald fit look, something that never happened when I was younger as I always thought bald was for old men. haha. Im in my fifties by the way.

CMOTGilbertBlythe · 10/05/2015 16:42

So did she say yes or no or not reply?
Will you let us know how it goes, if you do go on a date?

Original poster
beaglesaresweet · 10/05/2015 16:54

Thumb and CMOT, she hasn't replied yet hence I'm second-guessing and worrying. I'd definitely prefer a reply either way. She might not have checked her email yet though, all happened at the end of this week and obv she may be busy, thinking etc.

Justusemyname, you are misreading it and being quite nasty, I mainly meant htat for her it would be an experiment and i'm happy at that, as well as for me too but I'm more sure so less of an experimen for me. How do you think any woman starts learning about her bi- side?? She would have to try it out as something new at some point, after being with men, which is called an experiment. Many women start being curious later in life. I think it's better to be curoius with someone similar rather than a totally gay woman as that may be more disappointing for her if didn't work.

I'm trying to see it from her point of view, that's why the original post looked like a reverse but I thought it could be taken either way.

Millli good for you! Personally I don't see many fit men over 50, I don't mind the baldness. She is otoh very fit (I mean actual fitness) even compared with many younger women, a sporty type.

OP posts:
Original poster
beaglesaresweet · 10/05/2015 16:55

CMOT, I'd be SO glad to report anything positive (but no details unless you want me to PM, if you are in the same situation!)

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/05/2015 16:56

BAS, has she made any indication at all that she might be considering exploring her bi/gay side ?

I am still not clear on that point

glittertits · 10/05/2015 17:10

I'd do it! I've never had a relationship with a woman before, but I would like to.

Trills · 10/05/2015 17:14

So - you have asked out a woman.

You have no reason to believe that she is attracted to women.

She has no reason to believe that you are attracted to women (you aren't known to be lesbian or bisexual, you've never been n a relationship with a woman).

She is highly unlikely to have picked up that there is any "date" aspect to this.

ravenmum · 10/05/2015 17:19

Beagle said " I did make it clear that I'm attracted " and that it's too late to turn it into friendship - sounds like it's pretty clearly a date date.

ravenmum · 10/05/2015 17:20

I also thought they'd kissed but it might just be my imagination running away with me Smile

lavenderhoney · 10/05/2015 17:26

Unless you and her discussed sex and maybe getting it on together, she has no way of knowing you fancy her. She probably likes you as a friend. Did you mention it was a date? Do you plan to turn the conversation to sex on the date and see how the land lies?

I was asked out by someone I got on with and it turned out she thought it was a date. The evening finished rather abruptly, as she thought I would have realised she was that way inclined. She accused me of wasting her time!:) I thought she was a fun, friendly person who would be nice as a new friend. I had no wish to see her naked.

I'm very careful now:)

ravenmum · 10/05/2015 17:30

There must be other ways of making it clear it's a date without bringing up the practicalities of sex ... and the OP is over 50 - not sure why people are assuming she's made a beginner's mistake ...

Original poster
beaglesaresweet · 10/05/2015 17:33

AF, no as I said I've met her once with other people around so had no chance to discuss it. In my note where I ask her out, I did ask first of all whether she might be interested in dating a woman. It's all in a question form, asking, it's not a demand!

raven, ha yes it's your imagination! but as I raised the attraction to women in my mail, and asked if she'd consider a drink with me, that was clear enough.

Trills, she doesn't know me personally so wouldn't know whether I was bi. I did tell her I wasn't gay in my message but that I can be attracted to a woman.

As to no reason to believe, of course I did feel a connection, otherwise I would not have tried it. She is not vey conventional by the looks of it and I may be deluded but I felt there was some mutual spark, though of course it may be just 'liking' me in a friendly way on her part.

OP posts:
Original poster
beaglesaresweet · 10/05/2015 17:36

lavender, you see, exactly my pint! I've been upfront as I don't watn to give a false pretence of 'just friends' type of invite, obviously no expectation either - you wouldn't go on a date with a man either thinking he's expecting sex or kissing even. A first date is just a 'trying it for size' for want of a better word, seeing if you like them, not (for me) physical expectations.

OP posts:
Original poster
beaglesaresweet · 10/05/2015 17:36

point, not pint!

OP posts:
Original poster
beaglesaresweet · 10/05/2015 17:42

I'm just dreading that after all this discussing and thinking, she will ignore me and I will be hanging for days. I'll feel like a completely inappropriate idiot then.

OP posts:
Zillie77 · 10/05/2015 17:46

It sure would help if one of you two had some actual experience dating women! I mean, it might take years to get to first base this way!

Just kidding, best of luck, I hope it goes very well for you.

Estcal · 10/05/2015 17:46

Anyone else utterly confused? Or should I just withdraw gracefully? Grin

Original poster
beaglesaresweet · 10/05/2015 18:12

thanks, Zillie! yes, quite! She might haev experience though, you never know.

Estcal, I've asked her out in hope that she may be bi and attracted to me. I know that it's not very conventional.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/05/2015 18:26

It's not conventional, but if you have been completely clear in your message there is no problem with it

you seem prepared for rejection, which I think is sensible

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