DH doesnt find me attractive when I am....

[jessicaandrebeccasmummy]

not dolled up and fat!

Thats it really.

I had a conversation with him over the last few nights about his lack of affection, only ever showing me he loves me when he wants sex, and only ever being complimented when I have dressed up and made an effort.

As a SAHM, I tend to get up, get washed, chuck on jeans and a top and run a brush through my hair and thats it, as it is more comfortable than "dressing up" to be with the girls all day.

It has come to light that he feels i have totally let myself go, need to lose a lot of weight and start wearing clothes that make me look better.

Although I totally understand his point, I am quite upset that he cant show me he loves me when im in scruff clothes. We are totally skint, so cant afford to go out and buy nice new clothes, so other than try and work on losing weight, I feel like I am losing a no-win battle.

Im not really sure why I am posting this - he is right and I know he is, but I just dont know where to start in making myself more "desirable" for him.

We have a good marriage generally but I get hurt at the fact he doesnt show me he loves me, he tells me all the time, but does nothing to back it up.

Thats it really.... feel free not to post.... because I dont really know what I expect to gain from posting this! Just wanted to let it all out I guess.

Thanks for reading.

Custy - I bloody love you

Cant wait to see you again.

mwa mwa darling.

(still dont think bitch is swearing per say!!)

but ok then
sorry

awwwwwww
seeee

dont you feel warm and fuzzy inside?

( i do but its the rampant rabbit)

get stuffed
im flouncing

what are you suggesting ?

?

?

i think your suggesting i dont have my own opinions becuase i eat fillet-o -fish?

is that right

eh?

and shes talking about the xmas do BTW - are you coming cowmad?

would love to meet you - do you 'do' shitfaced?

admitt in the dark about do

do "a bit" of shi*-faced"
but feel i may be hanged if i were ever to turn up to an "event"
cant be sure as you all(MN`eters) may take this really "so seriously"
an the truth is
I dont too much!!

(where is it?!!)

somewhere in london - loads are coming - no one takes it seriously - we all just have opinions.

seriously - if they did i am sure i would be the first to get fucked up the arse with a sambuca - so to speak.

its in the meet up bit

bar called ruby in london.

noted
thanks

Hi JARM bet you're in bed now but i've just seen your post.Felt really bad for you when i first read it but sounds like you're all motivated now go girl!!(said in jerry springer accent)

I feel really ugly and exposed iykwim without my makeup so i spend 5 mins whilst supervising tots eat their breakfast.Foundation works miracles imo bit of bronzer/blush mascara and lip gloss it's so quick and makes me feel better so why not?
Also since giving up work I've discovered the allure of the charity shop it's amazing some of the labels you can pick up.As a few have said Primarks great.Also if you have trouble with lenghth of jeans maybe try wearing them tucked in to long boots AKA F.M.B'S (FUCK ME BOOTS)that should cheer Mr Jarm up.
Excercise is probably going to be the easiest thing you can tackle with Kiddies try dancing with them mine love this. Power walking the buggy instead of car perhaps, the endorphins will make you feel fab too .If you have childcare the boxercise sounds fun i used to go to jujitsu and loved it.
Don't forget to let us all know how you get on there's been some really constructive advice on this thread so good luck!

shit wish i'd checked thread before posting seem to have waded into a bit of a bitchfest here ,{{hope no one picks on me emoticon}}

custy, you maketh me laaarrrrrrf

can't wait to meet you (you'll recognise me, I am a bit weird and really really boring )

what the chuff happened here last night?

I went to bed early, got my head down and had a good nights sleep.

Have got up this morning and am dressed (jeans,3/4 sleeve blue top with v neck and popper detail at bust)

mascara and lip gloss applied

perfume sprayed

hair straightened and down rather than left hanging or scraped back into ponytail

feeling very consious (sp?) of my tummy today though...... guess i have got used to the comfort of a jacket to cover the bulge!

good good gald your feeling positive. and rememerb when DH looks at your top favourabley you make him wait! lol.

too bloody right lol

I might go into town with the girls later - not ideal i know, but i just wanna see whats about, and I do have £15 of adams vouchers to spend on the girls!

If I see something i really like but cant afford it, I may have to come back and order it online after asking daddy nicely!!

lol. ah come on girl, give yourself a break - whats the max you could spare? i've decdied to go with nutty's idea of £5 p/w, I think we can manage that on a new top - the one i'm wearing was only £5 from next a lovely lacey beigey/creamy low cut thingy. can dress up or down. bout time u did something for u!

Well done JARM!!
How about getting some catalogues delivered and spreading the cost or as i said last night charity shops,that way you can be altruistic and look great.
BTW are you still flying? As yesterday on fly thread, quite a few people were discussing weight loss and excercise .Have a nice shop anyway retail therapy is fab,let us know what hubby says regarding your appearance too.

Excellent!

I agree, make him wait......

WRT to your tummy - getting used to pulling it in and straightening yourself and your posture can only be a good thing. Please remember though - there arent many of us 'average' women that dont have a bit of sag after having a baby, but, we can do things to hide/improve it.

So, avoid wearing things too tightly that might give you a 'muffin top'. When walking around the shops today - walk 'tall', pull your stomach in, shoulders back etc.

Sorry about your thread going awry....thats cowmad for you.

ALSO....!!!!

High waisted jeans/trousers and skirts are back in fashion so it makes it a whole lot easier to avoid 'muffin tops'!!!

Check out the high waisted things today.

will deffo do that.

DH has doctors at 11.40 so hopefully will be able to hunt around myself this afternoon without kids - its too much like hard work!

i have severe muffin top.... 2 kids in 15 months was such a BAD move!!!

Yes, me too, well 2 in 2 years. I am the same size as you too (except a bit taller). Do you have an Asda near you? Or big Tesco? They do pretty cheap stuff. I usually get childrens clothes from there but its worth a look I think.

Will look in asda and tesco.... usually get my tops from there, but it seems i have been buying too small really and need to go up a size to make the clothes look good - i should also try EVERYTHING on before I buy - have loads of tops that i dont like wearing now because i find them too small or dont look right!

Plan for today....

Take DH to docs
Go to town - with or without girls, and have a LOOK
Got to Asda and Tesco for a LOOK

Try on anything that takes my fancy.

Come back here and get opinions before purchasing!

Asda DOES do a petite range, but, not in EVERY store. Check online if your one does.