DH doesnt find me attractive when I am....

[jessicaandrebeccasmummy]

not dolled up and fat!

Thats it really.

I had a conversation with him over the last few nights about his lack of affection, only ever showing me he loves me when he wants sex, and only ever being complimented when I have dressed up and made an effort.

As a SAHM, I tend to get up, get washed, chuck on jeans and a top and run a brush through my hair and thats it, as it is more comfortable than "dressing up" to be with the girls all day.

It has come to light that he feels i have totally let myself go, need to lose a lot of weight and start wearing clothes that make me look better.

Although I totally understand his point, I am quite upset that he cant show me he loves me when im in scruff clothes. We are totally skint, so cant afford to go out and buy nice new clothes, so other than try and work on losing weight, I feel like I am losing a no-win battle.

Im not really sure why I am posting this - he is right and I know he is, but I just dont know where to start in making myself more "desirable" for him.

We have a good marriage generally but I get hurt at the fact he doesnt show me he loves me, he tells me all the time, but does nothing to back it up.

Thats it really.... feel free not to post.... because I dont really know what I expect to gain from posting this! Just wanted to let it all out I guess.

Thanks for reading.

DH is on crutches as the moment and its too far for him to walk.

When he isnt on crutches, he does normally walk.

JARM, don't know if anyone has mentioned it already, but if you are skint and in need of clothes why not try Ebay. I have had some really lovely clothes at really cheap prices (including a pair of per una cords I am wearing right now which look brand new and cost £4.50 including postage). It means that you can buy clothes as you lose weight without feeling guilty for spending tons of money.

PS you will have to be careful with longline stuff as you are small and it may make you look dumpy.

lol at cod wafting away crutches and amekin gpoorly man walk

even I am nto htat bad!

Could you do a Wardrobe Swap with some friends? All have a cull and bring clothes you don't like / are bored of / don't fit / aren't flattering etc.
It's free, you gain wardrobe space and you might turn up a gem.

(NB I agree on the long-line cardigans - I think something more fitted - perhaps a jacket or a v-neck jumper - would be much more flattering and just as easy to wear.)

Havent read the whole thread?

But how old are you? Im sure I think your young, if so I wouldnt be buying jeans from BHS.

Get some funky ones and cheap tops from primark just as a start. Topshop do a petite range and their jeans are good.

I have recently had a completely new hair colour and topped my make up bag with benefit stuff and making sure I apply it every day. It makes a huge difference.

Have a pamper evening. Make sure your hairy bits are smooth. Do your nails. Even a coat of clear gloss and a bit of shape makes a huge, huge difference.

Get your eye brows waxed.

Cod et al - please post a list of must do's on here for tomorrow

Thank you....

im 24

i really struggle getting jeans the right length. Dorothy Perkins "Petite" trousers are still too long for me, i have a 27inch inside leg.

honestly next jeans are fab, also New look jeans as well, are you handy with a sewing machine? i've altered a few pairs of my longer ones this way. not too good thou if you have a fancy bit on the bottom.

Next Petite trousers have an inside leg of 27 and a half inches (DP and Topshop Petites are 29") - think they might be a good bet.
There are Next Clearance shops (aka Next To Nothing) in:
Antrim
Ashford
Barrow
Beckton
Birmingham
Bletchley
Braintree
Bristol
Cardiff
Castleford
Cheshire Oaks
Clydebank
Dalton Park
Dartford
Doncaster
Fleetwood
Glasgow Parkhead
Irvine
Leeds
Leicester St Georges
Liverpool Cavendish
Livingston
Manchester
Mansfield
Newport
North Shields
Nottingham Chillwell
Oxford
Perry Barr
Plymouth
Portadown
Portsmouth
Sheffield Heeley Park
Stockport
Street
Swindon
Thurrock
West Bromwich

Principles also do Petite Shorter Length trousers with a 27" inside leg - they're not cheap I know but worth looking in there come the sales.

nearest one for me is braintree...... about 30mins away. Feel I may need to go and have a look and try on and see how it goes.

Really am skint tho - have £90 a week to feed us all and entertain us all for the rest of the month

• ooh do u have a thrift shop sometimes u get good bargins in there.

main thing thou is you're doing this for YOU not DH - ooh and witht eh weight thing - old trinny/suze recon it's what u wear not your size so anyone can look stylish if u have the right clothes.

Message withdrawn

Thanks mate.

Its the whole not having money issue as well though!!

I can only really meet for coffee if DH isnt working, which he is at the moment, so other than an evening or weekend im tied to the kids!

Thanks for the offer re Weight Watchers - dont really understand it, and have all the slimming world books already, so know what i have to do, its just a case of doing it!!!

You'll get down to it now. We expect the next updated photo in 4 weeks time for a comparison of the before and after shots.

I hope you're on your treadmill while you're writing this?

You made me wash my hair today - and put on foundation and my high heeled boots! So there you go!

Message withdrawn

JARM
what size are you?
what colorus suit oyu
what shoe size are you
YOu never knwo if mners may have made crap purchases want to donate said purchase to you

Boxercise - big fat YES - know someone who did it to slim for her wedding and she looked AMAZING.

BHS - Never cross their threshold again - old ladyville. Geniune shudder at the thought.

Someone on the style page should be able to help with petite jeans - don't next or Gap so some?

Its so spooky cos its just like me writing your post JARM. I am the same as you and my DP is the same as your DH in exactly the same ways! He hasn't exactly said it to me lately but he has mentioned it on occasions and I feel like you do - so drab through the week but what is the point when you traipse to school and see nobody but the house and kids!!!! I am just not one of these women who dolls herself up every day I just haven't got the time. I try and look nice but certainly am not glamorous. When I go out I make a real effort but thats cos I have a couple of hours of total "me" time in which to get ready!!!!

Can sympathise totally.

sorry skipped some of the thread and missed all the helpful tips re petite jeans.

lazylucy

right then jarm - we'll start a thread off and anyone else who wants tyo join, with exercise and weight (I have 2.5 stone to loose as well) so we'll do all the stats incl inch tests etc then support each other whilst we loose it - like we did on TTC but for weight loss!

been thinking, is there anything left u can seel - old clothes of yours/the girls/toys or something, get paypal as payment then use the money elsewhere. (that money from DH@s jeans' got me and J some new clotehs lol.

ooh and have u thought of contacts? (althou that would be an additional bill of £15 p/m)

I'm in too! I too could have written that post! I've just rented a treadmill and exercycle but need to assemble them first. It's a bit tricky over here (NY) as we don't know anyone or have any family and dh works long hours and is away a lot at the moment so I don't get a lot of time to myself but I guess I can get up earlier to do hair and make up and do exercise after the boys go to bed, plus try to eat better. Let's do this thing together!

come to this late so forgive me I'm repeating posts.

Is he Adonis then? Always looks like he's heading for a night club? Smells great? Wears sexy undies? Goes out for a run every night? (I like custy's post at the beginning of the thread )

If he's a few pounds overweight suggest you get fit together or get him to be your personal trainer (he's got a vested interest ).

FOR COD

Size 16/18
Shoe 4
Dark hair
Green eyes
Pale skin

Munz

No way to contacts - refuse to stick ANYTHING in my eyes!

Donations gratefully recieved at the moment LOL

ALSO FOR COD

I love greens/black/dark blue/choccy brown and beige

Boring and crap