HOBBIT'S BAR - still finding it hard to move on ...part 7

[Izzie595]

Nobody understands the fully devastating impact of the ending of a marriage unless and until they experience it themselves.

Welcome to Hobbit's Bar. Thread number 7.

This is the place where we meet to let it all out, to share experiences, to get support, and maybe give support if and when we feel able. And also to sometimes have a good laugh about things, because Hell, we've earned the right to laugh!

The bar is owned by Hobbit. She is adorable, kind, and bonkers. And lazy. So we take turns in running the bar for her ladyship.

I'm the latest proprietor of the bar. Izzie Age 54. Married 30 years. Two young adult sons living with me. Husband left to live with OW on Halloween last year. Very appropriate! No moves towards divorce or financial settlement at present. I started posting my own stuff on MN at the start of the year. Best thing I ever did. Well, I've had better successes in life, but you get my point, yes? I've been through the whole range of emotions, backwards, forwards, round and round: it's not a linear process by any means. And it does seem common to have a huge crash at 4 to 6 months on. Today I'm meh. Mostly.

There are a range of experiences in the Bar, generally at any one time. Examples: the early stages of separation; negotiating; legal matters; abuse in all forms; feeling stronger; having a major crash again; dealing with fuckwittery from the exes; financial worries; issues involving both young and adult children; moving towards the Mecca that is "meh". Basically, the whole works. Believe me, whatever you are currently experiencing, you are not alone.

My advice to any newbies: just jump in, but if you have the time and inclination, try reading all of the threads. You will see real women experiencing their bleakest moments, their progress, their dips, their innermost thoughts.

Rules of The Bar

1. Don't ask to join just come in.
2. The phrase Party Pooper is banned. We may be having a good old giggle sometimes but someone in need must interrupt whatever is going on. We can't all be in sync, but someone in need ALWAYS takes priority.
3. You are not obliged to give advice, reply to any posts, there are no expectations of you. Take what you want from the thread.

And just to ease you in, here are a few things you may wish to know:

1. An Izzietini is the bar drink.
2. A number 6 refers to rule number 6 in Hobbit's Twunts list. Reasons why they do things. Because they are....... erm, no, the answer is not "misguided".
3. Mother, WellWhoKnew or WWK. Recently divorced, previous proprietor of the Bar and a legend of MN to those who followed her own threads. Also a legend on here for her straightforward advice. And keeps us in order.
4. Some of the posters also have their own threads. I hope they will do a link for you.
5. There's a bad case of exclamationitis on here. Occurs when trying to put in a comma on ipad, but it auto corrects to an exclamation mark. So if you post and get a dodgy comment back, eg "Have you thought about counselling! sounds like you need help!".....please believe us that we are not sarky cows. Because the rule of exclamationitis is that we only spot it after we have posted!
6. Our sayings are Shit, this is hard and KOKO, keep on keeping on.
7. Our theme tune to keep us going, is below.
8. Jess is our sausage snuffling mascot. Owned by Hobbit, she pops up every now and again to entertain us and to dispense her own brand of advice. She says it as it is. She is currently busy knitting herself some new hats.

At the start of the year Fontella posted this on the first thread:

"Can I just say as more of a reader rather than a participant on this thread (I got shot of my lying, conniving, controlling ex 10 years ago) that this is fast turning into my favourite thread. Lots of powerful, courageous and funny (in a good way) women all coming together and supporting each other through an incredibly painful time. You are all fabulous!"

I couldn't have put it better myself.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Izzie Inc

ok Izzie; I love this song anyway, its really uplifting but THIS version of it, well if it doesn't make you laugh you are dead!

MC Izzie and DJ Semtex blowing up the dancefloor, here's one for all us ladies, listen when you think all the worlds against you

SEMTEX bloody fantastic - made me laugh !!!!

I've had so many lols on this thread. So that's something to thank the bugger for

I laughed according but does whyme know what the weasel has been upto lately?

Haha, Ive just got that semtex

Izzie you know we had a Twunt Quote section well maybe we could start a Brainless Quote section, I could fill it up on my own I think, or maybe things we have done in revenge oops by accident, of course.. cant do the cross thro thing sorry

Why is there a Skip in that picture or is that just wishful thinking

wiseone do you think I should tell him it made you laugh, it might enlarge his already enormous ego, theres more comedy gold but dont wanna upset anyone who's having a shit time (like I was yesterday)

He looks like twunt and thats what he sounds like when he speaks

According lucky I don't have a weak bladder

Now this spoof cracks me up. I've put original up too iwas only knows Petula Clark

Gangnam Style spoof

Gangnam Style original

Brainless Quotes

Absolutely!

I'm still lol at the steak and ale.

Strike through, see the bottom of the page you are on when posting

Izzie I see your spoof and raise you little gem

Hahahaha @ the gangnam style spoof, my and my youngest were in hysterics, what a fantastic head teacher!

Izzie I followed the instructions earlier and you must have seen the result FAIL

Brainless Quotes

Izzie watching duck in water. Said to the ex it was strange I could only see two of its legs

DS2 Izzie "do rabbits lay eggs?"

Izzie when asked if I'd ever been to Cornwall, replied "No I've never been up North"

Bobs hope he gets his finger out this time.

Living

Cassa you are not a fraud in anyway on here. If your H was unhappy he could have talked to you and tried to work through the problems with you. If he didn't tell you how he was feeling he was just as much to blame. Do you think there's any possibility that you could talk to him about it.

I can relate to quite a bit of your post. With hindsight I could have made more effort but I didn't think there was a problem. We hardly did anything that was just him and me in recent years. We'd be at work then we'd have family time together at dinner then he'd go back to work until about 10, come in shower and then we'd watch TV before bed. I'd spend my time running the house when the children were busy. We didn't make time for us. Weekends were the same, he'd spent most of it working. I'd spend time with the children, do the housework, go for walks.

We'd spend a lot of our time talking about the children and the business, people that we know, the news. We occasionally would take the dog out together whereas years before with our old dog it would be a common occurrence. I was quite wrapped up in our family, I probably didn't make time for him very often. I thought we were both quite happy doing our own thing but I think I was wrong.

He said OW took an interest in him and that he could talk to her. She liked talking to him about him, listening to him and made him laugh whereas I didn't do that much. I know a lot of it was stroking his ego, but there's more than a grain of truth in it.

living don't leave spaces between the dashes or between the dashes and the words

Brainless Quotes

Izzie DS1 asked if we could get him "some of those minestrone cup a soups. I don't mind what flavour*

Thanks Izzie when Twunt left he thought I was hiding his bank statements as they were posted here, I said "I thought you had gone paperless" twunt said "whats paperless" me: it means breaking the fucking land speed record

Fail

-i-

fail

yesss

Brainless quotes;

Me - to shop assistant while stood in very long queue "Have you got any cockporn?"

I meant popcorn, god only knows what Freud would have made of that I do mix words on occasion "Parcark" (carpark) anyone? and I often point to my left and tell someone to go right.