Affair - just about coping part 3

[OpheliaRose]

Many of you will have read my original thread and my part two thread here

Brief outline I found out H was having an affair with a girl from his work since ten he has left me for her. His behaviour has been unbelievable

My old thread was titled not knowing how to cope however I am slowly learning

merry a girl to my own heart re: play doh!

ophelia just keep busy. Also, try and download an meditation app for your phone. It could help you to sleep, but it will also allow your mind to rest re: this situation.

OpheliaRose

Go for the jugular, at least by stealth and get your SHL to do it for you. Documents served to him at work will start to pull the rug out from under him. Fight for your DT's and get everything you can to provide for their future.

As much as I want this shit of a man to hear what he is (by using the astute comments said by our fellow MN'ers), I think your silence is the best way forward. I like what FriendofBill said "If you don't get into the ring, you cannot get hurt". Do not engage. Do not give this bastard an inch of your soul.

That said, wouldn't it be bloody marvellous if your DBro or DDad steadily told him a few home truths. Not removing their gaze from him for a second whilst gently stating "My daughter/sister isn't going to take parenting advice from a woman who gives blowjobs to married men in work stationary cupboards." and "I believe you called her wank fodder just last week, and now your playing happy families with her?"

Oh, I don't know OpheliaRose, I'm not helping am I? Your experience has weighed on my conscience since last week and still, he continues to behave despicably.

Hex and Gerti thank you for making me laugh again.

We just watched the royal baby stuff on the news. In so emotional over my situation I found myself crying at how happy and beautiful they look as a family. It sad I've loatbyahtbamily glow

I don't have any words of wisdom for you...

But I do have a virtual hug for you (((((())))))))

(I have no idea how to make hugs on a keyboard so that was my attempt)

Ophelia, we really do feel for you.

You seem like a such a lovely woman.

xxxxx

Hope you're ok. I've read all the threads and like so many others am impressed with your resilience. You are a fantastic mum! And a fantastic woman!! Keep reminding yourself of those two facts!

i've got a horrible headache again and I've now cried at the royal baby and the end of the little mermaid

Going on a play date tomorrow but feel a bit stressed out about it not sure why just feel on edge

You're probably exhausted after little sleep last night followed by a long day and more revelations. You may feel different in the morning. I hope you have a better night tonight. X

Your not you're

Nope was right the first time

Could you get all contact going through email?

Would be great evidence, or, he may reconsider/censor how he speaks to you.

You are bound to feel awkward and disconnected at the moment, still go to your play date but tell your friend how you feel and what's been happening.

Huge huge hugs from me

OpheliaRose
I think I'll match Cassie's offer...
I'm in Swansea. I'll happily serve legal docs to any workplace just as long as I can stand and watch him open them then swivel my head like an owl to stare at WF
Seriously, I've never offered to do this before in my life, but if you're in my area, I'd rather like to channel my inner Ice Queen and help you out.

got a gammy knee through so I'll have to refrain from shoeing him in the balls

I stand by my offer and will also deliver legal docs etc etc but I warn you, I've never been in a fight in my life. It may be the most pathetic punch ever. It may also be cracking. Only one way to find out...

Do you have a way to play music in your bedroom? I find soft music on low really helps me relax.
Or, could you read a chapter of a book before bed? Just something to take your mind off the day and the goings on might help you sleep.

rosie i've been falling asleep with either pride and Prejudice (95) on netflix or with music playing on my laptop. I can't handle the silence but I also think sleeping with the laptop on may be disturbing me more light and noise but i guess at least i'm getting some level of sleep

I never thought i'd miss my H snoring or general sleeping noises ...

I find classic fm is very soothing and can play all night without actually disturbing my sleep ( or put sleep timer on) more peaceful than my usual day time listening.

Used to have it on in babies rooms during the night too...on super quiet obviously.

A sleep meditation off YouTube?

I listen to BBC world service when I can't sleep

yy to what GERTI said. You are grieving, Phee.

Talk radio as a murmur at night has also helped me in past. Takes the edge off the silence.

Cassie, when I used to muck around with my Dad as a child looong time ago I used to throw a punch and he'd laugh "Who threw that packet of crisps?!" because my punch was so wibbly and weak I reckon between your punch and my gammy knee, we may just do a little damage.

Seriously though Phee, this is going to take time. Please remember you have the hands and power of MN holding you up.