Affair - just about coping part 3

[OpheliaRose]

Many of you will have read my original thread and my part two thread here

Brief outline I found out H was having an affair with a girl from his work since ten he has left me for her. His behaviour has been unbelievable

My old thread was titled not knowing how to cope however I am slowly learning

Hello my Lovely.
I'm sorry for the latest trauma - I'm gutted for you. There are simply no words for him and WF. All our other MN'ers have described him well.

Your Boss sounds lovely! You will be glad of the distraction and the cash when in your new role. You'll also be glad that it's not too taxing because funding your feet after being a SAHM will take time. You'll soon build back up to your trained-for role (and judging by your class, composure, dignity and formidable control, you'll be flying before long).

Yes Yes Yes to what everyone has said re contact of your DT's. Hold your nerve and stand strong. Don't wobble. YOU call the shots.

YY re cheepo PAYG phone. Stick it in your list today.

You are amazing. I am urging you on. #TeamOphelieRose.

Finding, not funding

See, Ophelia, there's proof of what a great mum you are right there! I can rarely get the strength up to get paints out for my two who love painting as I can't face the clean-up afterwards

Zebda, it's true. Mine see painting as a 'special treat' as I really hate all the cafuffle and clean up after.

One text. "I am not taking parenting tips from a woman who gives blowjobs in cupboards at work."

Have a lovely weekend baking and watching DVDs. My DC are ill so we're doing the same and they love it.

Actually don't send a text at all, I'm just angry on your behalf. Do not converse. Stay silent unless you have to. You've given him your response to his request any further conversation will just open you up to a dialogue which will hurt you.

Yes hooty

If you don't get in the ring, you can't get hurt.

Keep comms absolutely necessary & regarding DT's.

Did ow give parenting tips? I can't find the post.

If it was me, I'd kill them with kindness. I'd confuse the fuck out of him and laugh bitterly to myself.

If you're blonde and from what I gather skinny and she is dark and curvy I'd take pleasure in being the exact opposite. He'll be begging for you back in months and you can casually smile at him understandingly and say 'no dear'.

How's it going "oph*
I'm on my last pick up of the day then hopefully back to chill and make some cakes or suchlike and a curry for tea.

Oh I did read that one about the wondrous ow. If only we could all be so giving and kind and wonderful. And you know, callous, slutty and lacking of empathy. Dick.

Could you pay db to punch him in his stupid face? I'll do it for free but I doubt you're near northants.

Thank you for making me chuckle ladies!

We've had a make day although I'm totally exhausted cannot wait to sleep later. We're just about to start playing with they playdoh.

DB text me earlier to say he's seen OW H and her child in town walking along playing happy families so I might want to avoid the town centre. Took ally resolve not to cry and sob but I'm glad we didn't see them

I have to admit I think playdoh might be worse than painting in this house. We buy all the exciting colours and my boy insists on mixing them all together to make that brown you get. Then somehow he manages to make tiny flakes of it for scattering and treading around the house!!

They truly have no shame do they?

Take care and have fun with the playdoh! Xx

I can't add anymore to the sensible advise you've already been given but I just wanted to say they both come across as very foolish and self absorbed people. I can't believe WF is stupid enough to have home playing happy families already......I wonder if he's even the first. She must be desperate, there's nothing more off putting in a relationship is there? Remember and tell him where to go when he comes running back.

wristy I hate when the colours get mixed up. So far so good we've managed to avoid colour mixing. One is obsessed with making slugs and the other carrot noses!

-Akifden I don't understand it but I'm starting to think maybe he'd spent time with ow and her child before we split. There were a few odd weekends when he had stuff to do with friends etc that I never questioned but now looking back possibly he was with them.

I think that's even worse Ophelia, given the child met you with him before (I think you said).....what kind of message is he/she learning about appropriate behaviour in a relationship? i think WF's behaviour is every bit as repugnant as his. Keep doing what you're doing. You're amazing.

Opheliarose, (that's a saved word in my iPhone, which I find a little odd) fuck them. Literally, fuck them. If she is that stupid to introduce her child to many men aka this months flavour aka dick face then fuck them. I repeat. YOU ARE TEN TIMES THE MUM SHE IS. (Last time I possibly said lady but glove fits either way)

Ps re play doh, on YouTube there is dctc play doh. DC love it. I use it when I need to clean. DD does the most annoying things with play doh. I usually find it days later down the sofa. Dctc means play doh joy without the play doh

It's all a bit full on a bit quickly isn't it?!
Super shameless too. It's like he's in an imaginary world where people would congratulate him for getting his end away rather than judging his despicable behaviour and seeing what a self serving, adulterous weasel he is!

I just can't believe that it doesn't occur to him how damaging it could be for the children to see him playing happy families with another child either.

If you ever do come face to face. Hold your head up, ignore and walk on by. even if you have to pop to the nearest cafe to cry in the loo afterwards

Hold your head high Ophelia. It must be so so hard for you but try to remember, one day this will all be water under the bridge and it will only be murky for one of you!

I hate it when play doh gets mixed up.....I am a Sargent major though with DC and only let one colour be open at a time must learn to make it myself

I agree with you ophelia, he probably has spent time with them before and most probably wanted to introduce DT to WF this weekend....(sorry).

Stay strong my lovely, keep busy (play dates, outings, friends over) and fill your life with positive influences.

Oo cassie my DC likes to watch that on you tube!

ophelia lots of kiddies like to watch egg surprise, blind bags, team umi zoomi and people playing with figurines/dolls etc on yo tube as well.....this has also kept my DC occupied.

Pheonix I don't know why but when DB said he's seen them together suddenly my mind just twigged that possibly he's met the child before.

To be honest I'm so utterly disgusted by both their behaviour. It's heart breaking to think he's spending time with them like a family and yes I expect he would of introduced DTs. He seems to just want to re write they last 12 years and start again with his "perfect" new gf.

I think when he see the DT's they deserve he owes them a bit of one to one time time with heir father who has chosen to leave them in the most deplorable manner and still hasn't explained to them he's not coming home. Not introduce them to people that frankly they don't give a stuff about and may not feature in their lives long term.

I think that the issue with the latest incident ist hat he isnot the wronged party. He's not feeling hurt because, asyou say, he checked out before this. Everything he is feeling now is a skewed version of events. You haven't had this time and are very much the wrong party. He's too self involved to realise thatbut he's pretending to be courteous because he knows that is what he shoulf do. Regardless of how well he is playing this card.

Imagine if this was reversed.

I will up my offer. DP is from Nuneaton. I am from Stoke and my mum is in derby. I visit these places often. If you wish, I'll make a casual trip.

I can't believe he would walk in a town centre with your friends and family possibly present. I just done get what planet they're on, but I tell you something for free, it is not a planet you want to take parenting advice from. Inconsiderate is an understatement. You need to be very considerate as a parent. I'm pet sure he doesn't have their best interests at heart in anything he proposes. He thinks his best interests are the same as everyone else's. Honestly unbelievable.

Ps. I hate playdough getting mixed up. They have many open but never mixed. Well trained from young!! I remember being shocked when a friend's older dc came round and mixed my playdough. I was indignant and shocked!

By their best interests, I meant the twins best interests.