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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband's affair: I have started!

996 replies

tomatoplantproject · 23/04/2015 16:00

I have had my first thread deleted this morning, because I posted too much identifying information and disclosed far too much detail about my plans. However the support I have received so far has been amazing, and I have such a long way to go still.

The story so far: I discovered at the weekend my husband has been having an on/off affair for the last 6 months. He finished it before I discovered the evidence because he had decided to choose me over her.

I have been utterly devastated by this. In my anger I have taken the practical steps I need in order to help secure my long term future (I think).

My final practical step will be to get our home back for dd and me for a while. And then let the dust settle and figure out how to rebuild or recreate my life. With minimal collateral damage to dd.

Please keep holding my hand.

OP posts:
Weebirdie · 06/05/2015 09:14

Tomato, I do think there are things you could read up on and I will PM you.

tomatoplantproject · 06/05/2015 09:24

Thank you weebirdie

OP posts:
tomatoplantproject · 06/05/2015 09:25

Thank you weebirdie

Right I'm putting mn down for a few hours.

OP posts:
BathtimeFunkster · 06/05/2015 09:28

I have read that he is week, he is strong, he has a personality disorder, there seems very little indication at the moment that he wants to come back to you, going to a councilor is a "red flag", not going to a councilor is a red flag. I could go on, these were all on page 28/29 alone.

You could go on.

People who are missing the point often do.

There are lots of different people commenting.

We we don't all agree with each other.

That's the strength of a forum like this - a range of views.

Some make sense, and some don't.

But most of us credit tomato with the intelligence to work out for herself what makes sense in the context of her life.

How many times are you planning to come here with your words of caution, casting aspersions on the views (and motivations) of other people who are supporting her?

Christinayangstwistedsister · 06/05/2015 09:28

Remember if all else fails you have big brother to look forward to next week....this will make everything in life look normal.....

DrMorbius · 06/05/2015 09:48

How many times are you planning to come here with your words of caution, casting aspersions on the views (and motivations) of other people who are supporting her?

So my views are not valid then?

Christinayangstwistedsister · 06/05/2015 09:49

They are as valid as everyone else's, I am sure you will respect that

saffronwblue · 06/05/2015 10:28

He is angry with you and sorry for himself. If only that was reversed!

MaMaof04 · 06/05/2015 10:36

Totally agree with DrMobius (even if I was the one to have suggested that he might be wired a bit differently - Do not attack me again: I know people on AS- they are first individuals and different one from the other as Christina said. However the ones I know share some common traits: when I discuss with them all kind of human situations, they usually propose out of the box solutions that work well; they do not like talking about emotions; they do not feel at ease and run away from such talks; they prefer to focus on actions. And yesterday following my stupid post I read about how faithful they usually are to their partners. I never discussed this with my friends.)
So as Dr Mobius said:
None of the posters (undoubtedly well intentioned) understand your DH, his motives, his current mental state or the strength of his desire to get back with you. You alone need to do that.

Good Luck!

MaMaof04 · 06/05/2015 10:47

About Dr Mobius views
They are valid. (I know Dr you do not need my validation- still let me ''patronize'' a bit if you do not mind).
1- He knows a marriage that was successfully rebuilt despite the betrayal of the worst kind (I think) of one spouse.

2- All opinions are welcome- that will help the OP take a more balanced approach and tailor the optimal plan to resolve her marriage crisis (it might be a plan to rebuild it or a plan to exit it; only she will decide which kind of plan to choose.)
3- We do not have much men posting on MN: we need to hear them more. a- That will help us understand better our partners our sons brothers etc. b- That might attract more men on our threads. It will be great. WE will be able to learn to interact harmoniously.
Good Luck OP- it is a tough time for you! But I trust you will find the optimal solution to your case.

FATEdestiny · 06/05/2015 11:02

He has said he wants to come back. However he normally fights really hard for what he wants and I haven't seen him fighting for me yet.

You have told him, in no uncertain terms, that you want him to stay away and have no contact with you, have no discussions at all.

With all due respect Tomato, you are moving the goalposts.

The "test" of how much he wanted you back came in the form of if he would leave you alone and not try to enter into discussion. Fighting for you would involve failing your test. Lose:Lose situation.

MaMaof04 · 06/05/2015 11:29

good point Fatedestiny, but we do not know Tomato's goalposts. We just know her goals. .
Tomato can you tell us what he should do to show you he is fighting to get you back? What are 'your milestones' in your struggle to find out whether you can salvage your marriage? Maybe you already spelt them out; please refer me to the appropriate posts if this is the case. (You do not have to if you do not want. Just accept my apologies for my intrusion to your life.)
Enjoy your day and your DD!

Twinklestein · 06/05/2015 11:32

I found BathtimeFunkster's analysis @ 08.53 interesting and I think FATE makes a good point.

Twinklestein · 06/05/2015 11:37

As per MaMa's post, I can't speak for the OP but I don't feel that random male posters on here help us understand the men in our lives, nor do I hold them as spokesmen for their entire gender.

DrM is an individual with a slightly odd attitude, his sex is not relevant.

DrMorbius · 06/05/2015 12:14

Why is my attitude odd? - Twinkle.

BathtimeFunkster · 06/05/2015 12:56

Fighting for you would involve failing your test.

Not necessarily.

He could leave her alone without being cold and angry towards her when they see each other.

There are plenty of small ways he could find to indicate his ongoing love for her and determination to make it work when she was ready to consider that, while still respecting her request for space.

If only he was interested in finding them.

tomatoplantproject · 06/05/2015 16:10

Can I just point out that everyone's views are welcome here? I won't follow every piece of advice I receive but at the same time I want to be challenged to make sure I haven't missed something which may be obvious to someone else.

I have been thinking about the test/goalpost angle of this.

Can I just say that in the last 2 weeks my world has been utterly rocked. My future dream shattered and my reality has come crashing down. I need to work out how to rebuild my life and my relationship (however close that may end up being) for the long term.

In the short term I need to steer a steady ship for dd, not make any moves that will inflame emotions further without carefully considering the impact, and start working out whether it is worth the hard work of rebuilding our marriage or letting go and starting afresh.

I have given myself an initial 2 month timeframe to let the initial emotions settle and to start thinking about the marriage. During that time I need space to think and to start framing the questions that I need answers to in order to make the initial decisions about whether to just walk away or not.

During this time I am watching his behaviour closely to see the clues that will help with that decision. He doesn't know that I have framed my requests as "tests" and therefore doesn't know where my goalposts stand. Therefore I can change them at will whilst I work out where they should be.

At the moment he just knows that I need some space. If we do start working together and I am clear about what he needs to do then yes it would be unfair for me to keep changing my mind.

I do know the following though: he has behaved in an angry manner toward me in the little contact we have had over dd, hasn't respected my need for space and was pretty petulant over my request to move out. He hasn't been completely open when confessing to his sister - I don't know yet about his parents or his best friend but will find out. None of these clues bode well.

I am currently drafting and redrafting a letter that I plan to read him a week Monday. I want to make sure I include in there not only how I feel but also somehow the questions that he needs to start answering. And the questions and observations from posters like Weebirdie and puzzled (and others) which challenge my thinking and may appear uncomfortable to others are actually very helpful. I may disregard them or I may explore them further - I don't know.

The only thing which I am clear about right now is that I don't have the foggiest what I am doing. I am making it up, winging it as I go along. And I therefore need the help and support of others who have trodden this path before me.

OP posts:
Christinayangstwistedsister · 06/05/2015 16:22

I think you have handled this amazingly well and you don't need to be wasting your energy justifying yourself to anyone on here. As I have said on another thread, we can say what we like but then return to our happy lives, you are the one having to live this and deal with this xx

tomatoplantproject · 06/05/2015 16:33

Thank you Christina. I think it was the reference to moving my goalposts that got me thinking. And I decided I hadn't been unfair after all. Although even if I have been unfair recently I think it is my prerogative!!

OP posts:
Christinayangstwistedsister · 06/05/2015 16:35

He moved the goalposts in your marriage , you are just trying to find your own now....no harm in that , afterall, he put you here

Duckdeamon · 06/05/2015 16:49

Everyone is making everything up as they go along!

In my mind a man trying hard in this kind of situation so soon after "discovery" (and you might not yet know the full story) would be gentle, respectful, do as requested and (if the chance arose) apologise and express undying love profusely! Perhaps that's unrealistic.

winkywinkola · 06/05/2015 18:23

If I were tomato's h, I would email or text or whatever to say I completely respect her wishes.

I completely regret my actions.

I am deeply, terribly sorry and am ready to fight tooth and nail to do whatever it takes to make my marriage survive the terrible damage caused by me.

I would be grovelling and then back off, completely waiting for her cue.

Is it really that hard or is it me that just thinks it's completely obvious what to do?

tomatoplantproject · 06/05/2015 20:26

Winky, duck - yes you would have thought. I would have done the same. But no.

I have discovered that returning to hot yoga going to the most full on instructor's class is not a very good idea. I now look like a tomato. And I am going to be sore. I had started doing yoga in an effort to sort out my pelvis when dd was about 9 months old, and funnily enough I last went in August last year. I have just signed up for 2 months - but have been regretting that move (although I think it took a few weeks to really get into it before).

I am now down to my wedding weight. If I carry on the hot yoga I will be wedding weight plus toned. If I carry on the way I currently am I will be down to just-finished-travelling weight.

However dd and I have developed a baking biscuits and cakes habit which also involves eating them Grin

And dh did the bedtime routine whilst I was at yoga. I disappeared to get ready the moment he arrived and I have come back desperately needing a shower (a great tactic) and things were a lot calmer.

I feel much more stable this evening. And I have the first series of house of cards to watch (Christina I don't think I could manage big brother, sorry) courtesy of one of my lovely friends.

OP posts:
quietasamouse · 06/05/2015 21:49

Sounds like a lovely evening Smile

Christinayangstwistedsister · 06/05/2015 22:07

Ah good Tomato

I have just started House of cards robin Wright Penn is fab in it