Affair - not sure how to cope part 2

[OpheliaRose]

In my previous thread I found out my husband was having an affair with a girl from work and has decided to leave me for her.

My previous thread is here for anyone who would like to se ether full details Old Thread

Just about to head off DB text to say he's on his way to drop off stuff and will me at the curry place.

Not feeling great but going to try have a good time.

The fact that you are even going out shows real strength

your a lot stronger than you think, keep going

Enjoy yourself and forget about the pair of twats for a couple of hours

Enjoy your night out.

Another one to wish you a good night out

Delurking to say I've been following your story since Sunday and keep thinking of you!
You are doing so well and being so strong. Have a lovely nice out tonight I bet you look gorgeous with your new hair x

Not sure if this will help or not, but something that worked for me when I was going out and really, really didn't feel up to it was that I would 'press pause' whilst I was out and make myself forget everything and concentrate on other people. Then I would allow myself to fall apart once I got home. Except... more often than not, I didn't... I faked it enough to actually feel ok when I got home and didn't feel like crying and wailing.

OK, so I wasn't jumping for joy either, but I found that I was very much calmer and eventually genuinely started enjoying myself.

Just found the new thread. Enjoy your curry and you are doing an amazing job. I don't think I could be as strong as you in the same situation.

Ophelia, things have happened so fast for you. But just reading your posts it's clear you are getting stronger every day, even if you might not feel it. I hope you're having a cathartic night out. Onwards.. X

Yes, cheering you on too x

Ophelie,
Enjoy your evening out. I hope you will have/had a nice glass of red wine (I love Merlot with hot lamb curry!)
Remember you have nothing to be ashamed of.
People are not judged by the situations they were thrown in; they are judged by their reactions to such situations. He wants to dictate you how to react- he who created such a terrible situation, so as to deflect the shame from himself and this woman. But you are putting a good and dignified fight. And we all have a lot to learn from your reactions to this sordid affair and his cruel behavior.
There are two qualities I wish I have (difficult to acquire them in my case); they are modesty and decency. You have them in spade- and naturally. They are part of your personality. In addition resilience shines through your posts. People love you for that and for much more. Proof: the thousands of posts in your thread and the great number of posters who de-lurk or break their habit of posting at most once on threads, just to be here and support you. Ophelie, now that he is not overshadowing you, you will soon realize what a great lovely and - loveable indeed- person you are. YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE YOURSELF! Your bro' is wonderful and so is your mum.
His family: did you not say that two of his bro's failed their relationships with no fault whatsoever of their partners and their parents still fully supported them and shunned their exes? Good Riddance of them!
Keep all your cards safe (the pics/correspondence between the two, the relevant personal and financial docs...), document any interactions you have; try not to give him info about you and what you do; talk only through solicitors and via e-mails...in short all the good advices given above.
(Today curry and tomorrow: hair coloring. Cool!)
Good Night dear! (Do you have some pills that help you sleep a bit!)

I've caught up with you! I commented on your last thread and I'm so pleased you're going out tonight. You are doing so well. Some great advice on here! We are all rooting for you ophelia. Stay strong xxx

Connection probs so advice in bites, you are wonderful by the way.
Register the home with Land Registry, costs a tenner online. At present he could raise A loan against the property. Yes half is yours but half of nothing is?

Enjoy your night as best you can Ophelia

Hello lovely. I have had my first thread deleted, but we are treading the same path together. I found out about my husband's affair over the weekend. I haven't read a lot of the detail of your threads cos I've been dealing with my own shit but I am here right beside you.

Op, ive read all of your thread and I think you are amazing, so strong.

This happened to my best friend. She found when her dd was 7 that her dh at the time was having an affair. She found a hidden mobile phone in their dining room, it contained sexually explicit messages between the h and the ow. My bf kicked him out the next day. He stayed with his parents for one night and then moved in with ow and her two dds.

3 months later it was all over. In the three years that he's been gone he's lived with 6, yes 6, different women. His dd who is now a very bright 12 year old has little to do with him and actually thinks he's pathetic. He is a very miserable almost 50 year old living in a one room bedsit. My bf on the other hand is a year into a new relationship with an amazing man, but has bought her own house, tutored her own daughter through the 11+ into the grammar school and has been promoted TWICE into a high powered role that she studied hard for while managing completely on her own. I am in awe of her.

At some point your friends will be saying all these things about you. You should already be proud of yourself and you will be an inspiration for your DTs.

I hope that you have a better evening than you are expecting. Xx

I hope your ok today op x

Oops BFs DD was 9 not 7!!

Withdraw half from the joint account. Then tell them account frozen that stops him overdrafting

You are doing so well. I have been where you are in the past, even though there were days I wished I could curl up and die, I came out the other side a happier stronger person. I then met my current partner, after 18 years happily together he is having something of a mid life-crisis and again I am ploughing my way through a heap of shit and pain. The way you have coped and are dealing with your bastard of a husband and WF is inspiring, if you can stay strong then so can I. I hope you had a good evening and remember we are all on your side.

Lots

I am so sorry, once in a lifetime is more than enough

Ophelia. You are amazing. You are doing so well, I'm in awe of your strength, I was nothing like you so early in the process.
You are going to have a ball honey.

Just de lurking to say you are doing an incredible job.

The pain will lessen, I promise and you will soar.

When I found out my ex husband had been having an affair I actually didn't think I could go on. But I have and am now married again to a lovely man and am pregnant with our 2nd child. I have a 9 year old from my 1st marriage.

Your husband is a twat. He will shrivel.

Keep going x

you are doing so well Ophelia - stay strong hope your meeting with solicitor goes well .