Affair - not sure how to cope part 2

[OpheliaRose]

In my previous thread I found out my husband was having an affair with a girl from work and has decided to leave me for her.

My previous thread is here for anyone who would like to se ether full details Old Thread

Totally agree with Gerti. Simple facts speak for themselves here.

Don't text him.

Text everybody else. Simple, bright, truthful texts about what your wanker ex has done with his wank fodder girlfriend.

I'm sorry to say if you don't, you really are playing straight into their hands.

Like Gertis message
Would possibly expand slightly:

"It's early days since DH left me and the twins so suddenly for (OW). This was a big shock as I was unaware of their affair. "

Another lurker who feels compelled to post. It's hard to understand how people can be so cruel. There is so much good advice on this thread from people who have been through the mill like you and yet come out the other side happier and healthier. Before you know it, you will be one of them. And you won't be married to a dishonest, morally bankrupt, empathy free bastard at that point.

I would agree that you can be honest with friends about what's happened, whilst maintaining minimal contact with him. Rage is cathartic, so maybe write those emails and then archive. Build a set of noncommittal, vague responses to cut and paste and use them.

Would definitely respond to the work mates message and tell her what's happening. Shame him!!

Yes. That's a good idea.
Adding "particularly as we'd recently had such a romantic holiday"

Jenni2legs I asked H about safe sexy at first he just avoided the question but he admitted they didn't use protection. He said OW has a coil and when hey had sex at the office it was very spontaneous and "hot" all thoughts of condoms went out his head.

Oh my god Ophelia he is such an absolute cunt. How hurt you must be, I'm so sorry.

Will you reply to the work friend?

Ewww.

Ophelia. Why don't you want to tell anyone the truth?

I was thinking about you today ophelia and remembering the awful pain I felt like you.
I then remembered some good times soon after and realised that the pain does die down quicker than you imagine at the time.

He's off his rocker isn't he?
Good god he sounds like such an inexperienced clueless twat.

Anyone hearing a third of the facts will only have empathy for you and anger on your behalf.

I wish I could offer some practical support.

I'm just ashamed that he cheated! I'm
Also aware exposing his work affair could have serious repercussions on his job which right now is not what me and the twins need! If he loses his job we'll have no support

He just seems to have no concept of the trouble doing something like unprotected sex can cause!

He just thinks about his own pleasure and with his dick. I'm so angry at him,

I replied to the girl from his work as suggested. Now I guess I wait for the fall out

Urgh! He really thinks she hasn't been having sex with anyone else?

I can't work out whether he is naive and being played like a good'un or whether he is calculating and self-centred. Either way, he's weak, lacks integrity and a fucking embarrassment.

If he loses his job you will still be able to live and feed your kids.

There is no shame in being cheated on.

Anyone who says otherwise, is a misogynistic pig.

I think you were living with a misogynistic pig for over 10 years so this might also be affecting how you view this.

Be brave ophelia. You've done nothing wrong. I don't think people are saying expose his work affair to his boss directly, but you are covering up for them both among your friends and acquaintances. Is that what you want to do?

What are you ashamed of? You did nothing wrong. Unless you are feeling ashamed as you weren't exciting enough for him and he had to go get his thrills over the desk at work. That is not nice behaviour. You have nothing to be ashamed of at all and if he gets hold of that idea he'll use it against you to justify what he did. I've said before, but you really have the moral high ground.

Here's hoping the dirty fucker gets knob rot.Best get checked out just in case Ophelia love.God,I hate him so much.

Don't you worry about what his own stupid actions will cost them, maybe he shouldn't have dipped his nib in the company ink eh?

It is unlikely he will be fired unless they were planning to do it anyway, unless he has had other warnings.

You are doing brilliantly. Get story straight for people you care about. Don't let him think he is bothering you, and get ducks in a row to get the legal stuff sorted ASAP. And sorry that you will have to get STI test, but at least if there is anything to know you will be ahead of the game.

You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, you have done nothing wrong. Write that on a piece of paper and pin it by your mirror.

If you get the urge to contact him I suggest you create a folder on your computer where you can write down everything you'd dearly love to say to him but don't send them. It'll be cathartic to "let it out" but you won't give him the satisfaction of knowing how you feel.

I know you're concerned about his job and the support you and your DTs will need, but he is 100% responsible for any fallout from his sordid affair.

Do not be ashamed to get an STI test.

I hope she does have a coil she's not the most moral or honest is she.