Affair - not sure how to cope part 2

[OpheliaRose]

In my previous thread I found out my husband was having an affair with a girl from work and has decided to leave me for her.

My previous thread is here for anyone who would like to se ether full details Old Thread

How do you normally communicate? Use that medium.

Keep it simple.

" Hi, tithead and I have separated. It seems odd that I'm telling you by facebook/email/text but I didn't want you to wonder what was going on if you saw him out with his girlfriend and wondered whether I knew or not. Early days so still a bit raw, but onwards and upwards eh? PS know any hot single fellas? "

down That's a really good message.

I was thinking I should change my profile picture and cover photo from happy family couple shots as well

Can you change his status from married to " getting a blowy in the cupboard" ?

Yeah, I was thinking it'd probably be really awkward for your friends if they saw them out of the blue and were "shit! Arsehole is having an affair - do we tell Ophelia?" but also manages to get across that he's been an unfaithful prick and you being strong and dignified.

Fab idea re the picture

Christina i almost spat out my coffee then

The issue I have with exposing his office affair is that like other posters told me it could jeopardise his job which I guess is the last thing I need right now

Also OP, I know you've wondered how this reflects on you but I bet you once it circulates, many of your friends will say "we always thought you were too good for him" - there's a lot in your posts that show he's not actually a great man, affair aside.

De-lurking again. As one friend has already seen them and he lied, maybe you could text the people who matter to you saying you don't want to talk about it but you and H are separating as he has decided to pursue relationship with blow job bitch/wank fodder work colleague. They can then talk to others. That way there isn't really any comeback on you in the future. FB relationship change has the potential to be misconstrued or held against you.

You are being really dignified about the whole thing and really have the moral high ground.

Thank you Undeuxtwatcinq I think I may do that, I'll text my closest friends and ask them to pass on the message to our other friends.

This is heart breaking I can barely see for the tears

Photo change on FB is a good idea as then yOU can do that annoying thing of telling anyone who asks, I'll PM you and he will see but won't know what you are telling them.

I'd love to give you a big hug right now. Sending you one...also sending the eejit two black eyes and a broken nose.

I know Ophelia...I just need to let myself enjoy that idea for a wee minute..fair cheers me up

Sending you hugs, and dickhead a massive kick in the bollocks!

Ah mrs, don't cry...big hug

I would just breezily tell the truth.

DH and I are no longer together. He has been having an affair in the stationary cupboard at work with a colleague (formerly known as 'wank-fodder').

I would change your FB status and also message a number of people about why.

You have nothing to be ashamed about. He does and this is why he is hiding and acting shifty.

I meant message people via PM on FB.

I've sent a message to my closest friends.

I've changed my profile picture from us to one of me and a friend she sent me. I've changed my cover photo to just one of me and the twins.

last piece if to go from married ... do i either put single or just have no relationship status?

Ophelia, I told people via FB but my FB is only for family and very close friends so there's no more than 40 people on it. It was the easiest thing to do given our geography, but my last sentence made it clear in a very nice way I wouldn't be discussing it any further via my FB wall.

If your FB is like this then perhaps you could do the same, and if not then i would just send a text. People here will help you with what to say.

On a different note - if this whole sorry mess wasn't so sad it would be laughable if the OW's comments re her sleeping with someone else are anything to go by.

As for them not looking like a 'couple' in the pub and him lying about your whereabouts - Im not surprised. Its the actions of a coward who is only brave when he's bullying and tormenting the mother of his children.

You are well out of it though no one could in all reality expect you to believe that right now.

Its time to blow them out of the water given today in the pub!

I think there is one for separated

last piece if to go from married ... do i either put single or just have no relationship status?

I would leave FB all together for the time being and use other ways to be in touch with people though its not something I had to do because my husband has no interest in FB.

Change your status to 'separated'

He's lying as he knows people are going to, quite rightly, judge him. Coward.

Maybe change it to "in a relationship with Justin Timberlake"