Affair - not sure how to cope part 2

[OpheliaRose]

In my previous thread I found out my husband was having an affair with a girl from work and has decided to leave me for her.

My previous thread is here for anyone who would like to se ether full details Old Thread

Patchwork, now there's a policy one of the parties could include in their manifesto and get a lot of women voters!

Patch, go girl with the proposed law! Am I wrong to think that all betrayed partners support you? To be fair it must be for any betrayers (man-woman-trans-gay and whatever) who hurt innocent and nice partners who were not consulted about the affair (otherwise we will be like one of these countries who just flog female- adulterers) . Let us propose that the betrayed partner/ or a relative must be allowed to beat the dishonest betrayer- not in any endangering way- just to relive the painful angst and to awaken the betrayer. We betrayed partners really feel like hurt animals in the few days after DD- a good beat to the betrayer might help us clear out our feelings.
She might be beautiful- that does not mean that all men fancy having an affair with her. (They might want to have a BJ in the cupboard instead of a cup of tea after lunch- that is far from wanting to have any relationship with her.)
Anyway they might stay together forever and play it happy etc. That will not make them more loveable- they are despicable have we already said it enough? And you are much more better- you are lovely and absolutely loveable. Anyway what should be your aim is protecting (financially and emotionally) YOURSELF and Your TWINS. Have a nice week-end! (How was the coloring? Any compliments yet?)

Crazy.

Sorry haven't had a chance to catch up properly. Managed to get into his iPad and have been horrified and digesting all the messages he saved from her.
I shouldn't have looked but I needed to know.

Are you okay?

I can understand the need to know, you are trying to understand what has been real in your life

Oh Ophelia -hand holding.

Sorry to hear that, but sadly not surprised

He's already done more than enough for you to divorce him. You don't need more to torment yourself.

I too understand the need to know. Have you taken copies?

So sorry - it is just so shocking isn't it. Hot sweet tea? It is a grim discovery which you cannot unknow. How bloody dare he.

I would of looked to, you poor love! We are all here behind you!

I feel so bad for you, he's a total cunt!

Op I hope your not on your own?
Have you showed your db what you have seen?

I'd have been unable to resist looking too even though it's probably torture for you. Make the pain worth it and save screenshots in case you need them for SHL. Thinking of you.

I know it's awful to know but somehow it will be better than not knowing in the end. Knowing it all will help you move on in the end.

Hand holding here too. Are you ok?

If you think they will be useful, email them to yourself and then clear history etc on the device.

If it's his iPad, could he delete the messages via his phone as it could be all linked to the same Apple account. Is it stuff you want to keep records of for future amunition? Could DB come over and copy it all for you to save you having to look at it all again.

I would have looked as well.

I would have looked too. I know it's torture but sometimes in these situations revelations come in waves, which prolongs the healing process and knocks people down again just as they feel they're coming up for air, so in some ways it's better to get it over and done with now and also to have it reinforced that he is a complete and utter lying arsehole who is not worthy of you.

Oh OP,he is such a shithead.Hope you're ok

What is SHL in this context, someone, please?

Shit Hot Lawyer Dum

OpheliaRose, so sorry to hear you are having to suffer yet more at your shortly to be ex's hands. I'm sorry, though I've been following the threads, with all the twists and turns, I can't remember whether you decided you would be letting him see the children this week-end? If you are, I just wanted to suggest that you insist that he sees them with a chaperone from your "side" in attendance, to protect them from him taking them to meet the OW against your wishes. Or just not allow him to see them until you have taken legal advice on the matter? Just a thought. Whatever he said to you, after the way he's behaved so far, I just wouldn't trust him even if he promised on his mother's life that he wouldn't be taking them to the OW.
Keep on going, you are doing really well and showing great strength, however small and miserable and helpless you are feeling inside.

Thanks, fourquenelles, I'd never have guessed

dum the children will be with their father. They don't need a chaparone and the OP has no right to request one, let alone demand one.