RA don't feel bad about venting and not giving back - that's the reason for the thread. Occasionally you'll figure something out and can pass it on, but there's no expectation you should so please don't feel bad.
We all hijacked Hobbit's thread, and Hobbit proved her merit by accommodating us - 'cos that's what she's like in real life. A naturally lovely, compassionate, strong, intelligent, sophisticated woman who is having a hard time of it.
Oh and she's married to an utter arse of a man.
Izzie the jigsaw analogy is just brilliant. That's exactly how it is. Our lives have been smashed into a million little pieces, and we can be on our knees trying to put it back together. Some days you find two pieces that fit together, and that's progress. Others, you get ten pieces together. And then there's the days, you just can't find anything to fit together. I shall bear that in mind as I fight to rebuild my life.
Hobbit I'm afraid so. Like everyone, I guess, I figured that once we'd had the final hearing that would be that - but actually, no they just carry on being twunts. So I'm leaving it for a bit because if I have to go back to court then what will happen I run up legal fees, then he'll pay. So if I'm forced down that route, I'll self litigate and, now knowing how the system works, claim costs. I have my emotional intelligence back where he is concerned.
Why do we feel guilty for indulging ourselves? I mean seriously - I do too. I've done the washing up today, that's it! And yet, all day been castigating myself for not doing stuff.
Bobs you are welcome to PM me on issues. I'm no solicitor though, so I can only hazard a guess. I'll try my best all the same.
MrsC I'm hermitting as per usual! We'll catch up soon.
Ali3 he will go epic, as they say, when you don't do what you're told. It's both jawdropping and godawful, but don't underestimate how dreadful he can choose to be. If you want my advice: chose to say 'meh'. When they left, what actually happened was the bully left. This is your time to regrow.
But I get the fact you still feel 'love'. I'm now coming to the view that I have a 'Mr Perfect' in my mind's eye. And that's the man I love. The man I married, I compensated for. But ultimately, he worked out my 'Mr perfect' and pretended to be it. But that's all. I mourn the man I didn't marry - not that I've ever met him, I don't mourn the dirty disgusting human being that I was married to.
nogoing oh, so you're having an affair now? Huh. I'd be tempted to say 'ah, yeah, you got me on that one'.
I used to be accused of having affairs all the time...I regret not having one now - just so he could be right! However, I'm not so inclined to jump into bed with anyone (bar my cats) so I'm having an affair with myself. They can't bear that either.
Tabby yep, with you on that stockholm syndrome. I think one of the reasons we all feel so damned angry is that we bought into 'for better, for worse'. I do feel very exploited now.
Roz anger is absolutely fine. It really is. Your manager has given you a vote of confidence, and despite all this shit, you're managing to impress people with your reliability and trustworthiness. So fuck him, he got you so wrong.
According love the name change.