HOBBIT'S BAR - still finding it hard to move on...part 5.

[WellWhoKnew]

If you are struggling to come to terms with the ending of your marriage, no matter how that came about, nor how long it's been, this is the place where you come to say SHIT THIS IS HARD, when you hit those times of despair.

It is the place where it is never rude to interrupt if you're having a bad day and need to vent. No matter what.

It is a place where no one will tell you to 'move on', 'get over it', or 'at least you've got...'

It is the place where the only thing anyone will tell you to do is keep on keeping on.

Amongst the shit, there are always giggles. But the only rule is: It is ALWAYS okay to say SHIT THIS IS HARD and interrupt the giggles. No apology necessary.

The bar, owned by Hobbit, but run by committee, is open to all as we wind our way through divorce, come to terms with our individual circumstances, or just cope with adjusting to a new life.

My name is WellWhoKnew. I am divorced. He left me just over 11 months ago. I am trying to rebuild my life by leaving the deadwood behind. I'm learning to laugh again. One day, I will 'move on', 'get over it' and be thankful that I've got what I've got. Until then, if I want to bloody moan about shit, I won't be apologising.

Because I did way too much of that during my marriage. The shit left. I'm learning to giggle again. KOKO.

Part 4

Part 3

part 2

Part 1

Our theme tune:

Hobbit very Happy Birthday for today and hope you have a lovely day

Roz sounds like you are so well out of that relationship. It's good that you understand what happened and why it did, and well done for moving on from it. It sounds like you live in a lovely area.

Wiseone re the sleep thing. I found it best to just accept that it is going to happen and not to rail against it. Keeping busy in the day time has helped (I upped my gym membership) going to the loo when I wake up in the night helps, having a plan for the day when you wake up helps. Most of all I now just accept that when I wake up, or get a clenched stomach that won't go away, or have bouts of crying, I just think - yes this is the shit i am going through, one day it will go away but for now I accept it is going to happen.

When I had my biometrics done at the gym my resting heart rate was up from 47 to 100. For someone who normally has an ultra low blood pressure I dread to think what that is

Izzie glad you're feeling better

green good to hear from you and sounds like you're doing brilliantly

Penblwydd hapus i ti
Penblwydd hapus i ti
Penblwydd hapus annwyl Hobbit
Penblwydd hapus i ti

hobbit meant to say earlier - Happy birthday for today hope you enjoy your gallivanting

So I've received the session notes for the last mediation session with a date for the next meeting next month. This is only if he provides an agreement or counter proposal prior to the meeting. i think even the mediator realises where things are going now and is suggestion arbitration...

So...anyone any experience of arbitration and comparisons vs going to court???

Ta very much everyone for the birthday wishes, font am I wrong to find that Welsh gentleman strangely alluring? It could be my age, < but more probably the champagne, hic!>

Been pampered and wined and dined, better have a nap now

Bobs my love, I am available for arbitration, mediation, negotiation, anything else ending in -ation , barmitzvahs and weddings, just say the word and I'll send Jess over with the paperwork.

Nah, not really, but I am good at hand holding, chin up lovely girl, thanks for your help in getting me through the first step, xx

Yes mine is a dci and negotiator !! ffs what a joke ! Knows exactly how far to push it. Has been on numerous intensive courses around the world to learn how to negotiate and yet he blocks me out and mentally abuses me. I'm curious to know what a freedom group is ? I've been to One Stop Shop and hope to get legal aid and waiting on an outreach worker from W Aid. They have been great but there's a waiting list to get to see a counsellor.My DD just shouts at me if I try to explain anything and I'm literally too wary and scared to bring the subject of her Dad up as he is just perfect in her eyes. Both my kids are angry that I called the police on Sat night when he was threatening me... Of course they didn't see this and he spun it to say I was making it up. I'm basically waiting for him to have me kicked out of my own home. All because he is in debt and can't afford anywhere so the easy option is to turn her against me and demand that he moves back in to look after her... As her mother is so awful to her.

I just would like to thank everyone for their very kind support ! I'm not used to it ... I'm also trying to navigate my way around this bar from my phone so excuse me if I pop up where I shouldn't be

Thanks "Hobbit" fat lot of use you are you pisshead glad you're enjoying your day xx

Sorry Ali x post. Google freedom programme. Don't know much about it but seen it mentioned several times on MN.
Btw he is a bully and the DC will eventually see it

Do you know what Hobbit? If I wasn't a straight female in love with Poldark ... I'd bloody marry you meself!

You come across as a really rather wonderful person - intelligent, witty, and as funny as hell (some of your posts are bordering on comic genius) immensely kind - that last post to Bobs 'chin up lovely girl' just sums you up really.

Your husband must have a screw loose to let you go.

The "I'm going to die soon and have to grab life while I can" shite he spouted in the mediation smacks of an almighty midlife crisis - one he will emerge from at some point and then I think he is going to be overwhelmed with regret at losing you.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you what a great person I think you are .. and indeed all the wonderful women on this thread which is a must-read for me every time I log on.

Have a wonderful day with your boys.

Font
x

I may have to wrestle you over the gorgeous Aidan Turner my love, < he's mine, all mine, I tell ya>

Ta very much, Font for the lovely comments, I am pretty epic! You should see me strut,

So I have seen my runaway husband this afternoon for the first time in a couple of weeks -was I bothered by him though? Actually no - I was rather surprised at how unemotional I felt about him - don't hate him, don't want to stab him with a sharp knife or my keys. Almost like a stranger...but with familiar phrases! (But ask me tomorrow morning........) We had a " home admin" task to do hence the necessity to meet. He comes to the meeting place all jolly like nothing has happened - all smiley! WTF! Doesn't last for long though and is his usual self that he seems to be now - not knowing very much about anything.... Actually I had forgotten how he loves to talk over the top of me - now THAT I had forgotten!!!

We have a hell of a lot of work to do in dismantling our life ( as do others ) and I have accepted that it will take time. There is no pressure on me to do anything quickly , is there??

Feeling all very odd about it - I would love to think that there is a little bit of "meh" creeping in there

PS Poldark is mine - sorry

Get yer thieving mitts off.

I saw him first!

What is wrong with me, why don't I fancy anyone??

I think I'm destined to be a mad woman with a fetish for rearranging things in cupboards. Sadly the second part of that sentence is true

Maybe we should set up a decluttering company? I also love rearranging things....doing it step by step - just got the " summer clothes" luggage out and OMG had forgotten what is in there.......getting carried away by this warm spell...

Wise, now I'm getting excited

Sad confession time. In my utility, I have a rack for hangers. I bought a load of plastic ones, so they sit all neatly on the rack. There are maybe four different colours. Yep, I arrange them in order of colour.......it really pisses me off that nobody else does it.

Izzie are you blind? Look at the man, or maybe it's just us celts who like the tall, dark handsome < absolutely ripped> type?

He DEFINATELY floats my boat, big time,

Back to your cupboards woman! Tee HEE

Disclaimer; I may have had wine,

There's debates on forums about the Cornish accents being wrong, the windows on the cottages being wrong, the actress who plays Demelza being wrong, them whistling through the plot too quick, this not being true to the book, that not being true to the book, you being able to see the telephone wires in the background or a burglar alarm on one of the buidings moan moan yadda yadda

I couldn't give a shit. I couldn't care if a leather clad biker overtook him on a Harley Davison as he's galloping back and forth along the clifftop.

Because when he's onscreen I literally cannot take my eyes off him. He absolutely smoulders. I couldn't care less what else is going on.

It's im oi lurv. The 'at, the 'air, the 'orse ... oi lurvs it arl!

Hobbit he does absolutely nothing for me. Despite my ideal man being tall dark and handsome. He looks like a bit of a girly to me. He needs a decent haircut as well

Actually just thought of someone. Although not tall and dark, Daniel Craig does it for me. Physically. Although he seems a miserable fucker in RL.

I do like a man in a suit. And look at the way he's holding his pistol

Let's see - colour co-ordinated coathangers .... or Ross Poldark?

Decisions .. decisions ...

I didn't use the phrase about hanging your coat on one

Yep, I wouldn't throw Daniel Craig out with the bath water Izzie'I must admit, but there's no smouldering there, is there?

Actually he comes from quite near me, born in Chester, I believe.

He's no Poldark tho' is he?