DRY 7!!!

[mollyonthemove]

The new thread for the alcohol free and the wanna be free . come and join us

Crikey Lucy, it seems to me a lot of people would need help detoxing if the limit is a bottle and a half a day, or that may just be my skewed view of alcohol.
I have never mentioned my drinking to anyone except DH. It feels like I am a failure somehow if I can't moderate it myself when other people can. And I too didn't want it on my health record. I am lucky enough to have UC which is a chronic bowel disease. Frankly being seen as that woman with the bowel complaint and a problem drinker is too much to think about, even though I love my doctor and know that wouldn't be the case.
Quick run here too Last, although in some cool autumnal rain. I thought I might feel all bouyant and speedy having not drunk for 3 days, but man it was a slog. Maybe I am a better hungover runner.
Does anyone know how to bold things on an imac. I wanted to bold Lucy's name but no matter which buttons or combos I push. Grrr.

Morning all..... thanks for chatting yesterday. I am feeling a bit brighter this morning. I agree about shame also being a factor LastGleaming That was a factor also.

..... also to be honest it was the fear of having to detox or actually stop that held me back too for a while and that kept me on the merry go round...... but you know, fear is an emotion I associate so much with drinking, fear of shame, fear of not being able to control it, fear of 'who am I; if i took away this crutch. Then you see once you HAVE removed alcohol for a time that everything about alcohol is a charade. Like Lucy says, sobriety delivers everything alcohol promised.

LastGleaming I like also your idea that your alcohol-free time last year was the trial run. It feels strong, resolute.

What is it about a bit of sun that makes you want a nice glass of something poisonous though? . Mocktails ladies all the way. My favourite is equal parts pink grapefruit juice, pineapple juice and diet lemonade all mixed in together. :)

... please excuse appalling grammar and typos.....it's early..... :)

argh, mid witching hour, 4 days in, this is the hardest moment yet

What scare me Corn is that I don't know who i am if i stop drinking. My life is so tied up with it

Good morning everyone. It was nice to be welcomed back yesterday. Thank you.
CornChip I had a real fear of talking to my GP. The shame and fear etc. I got too desperate to stop in the end that I took the plunge. It all kind of happened quickly after that and I was referred to an alcohol unit. That was when it really dawned on me that I was 'one of them'. I had never in my wildest dreams imagined I would end up where I was. But somehow to was also a relief to admit that I needed help. I had struggled so much trying to pretend and hide my problem that I was exhausted.

EmK - you put two asterisks either side of the name to bold it so * *
Hold tight the first few days and weeks are the toughest as you're now over the feeling crap from a hangover and your body is screaming for booze. Remember you are detoxing so it will not be pleasant however if you start to feel seriously unwell please get medical help. You are right that there are probably a great number of people who need medical detox support but don't realise it. We have an alcohol pandemic on our hands I'm afraid and we're the brave one's who've called time on it. I also felt all the same things that you all expressed - shame, who will I be, how will I live without booze - Corn my list mirrored yours and as you say it's all a big CON! I ran yesterday and it will get better Em you are detoxing so you will feel worse in every way for the minute but once you're out the other side you will feel much better. That's why having spent almost 5 years trying to get off the booze merry-go-round there is no way I'm getting back on!

morning all
lastgleaming That is a good way of looking at my alcohol free months last year, instead of just beating myself up for being stupid enough to start again, even though I clearly knew I felt much better without drinking!
well at least I have woken up without a hangover today - I was so ill yesterday
This morning hasn't gone well though and I already felt just about stressed to the brim by about 9am! DD2 was refusing to go to school, ds2 had lost ALL his school jumpers and was in melt down and dd4 is poorly so off school so I had to ring in work....
anyway, school drop off now done and I have decided not to stress about having day off work (I am hardly ever off - yes it's amazing how much I can keep going even with a hangover!) and actually I am catching up in some much needed housework and will plan and cook something nice for tea.
I'm just having a quick cuppa and snuggle with dd then back to it!

Hope you are all having good af days.

em you're probably tucked up in bed now, but hope you got through last night.

Em, with my limited (and sporadic!) experience, I have to say that when I stopped drinking I discovered I actually liked me. :) It was both a surprise, and also a good feeling!! The crutch was actually hiding all sorts of things, insecurities about everything. How are you today?

I am hoping you all can indulge me for a slight moment? (Sorry in advance... i do alot of venting here!)

We had confirmed this morning that DS (aged 4) is autistic. The whole process of getting him diagnosed has taken just months and I have been sort of thinking about it and in denial also... but it is now confirmed. Not a huge surprise, but I am all over the place emotionally. I have deliberately NOT been delving too deeply into anything about ASD and what it might mean- bar the occasional forays into the SN board on MN, but I feel like an earthquake has gone off. I know of course that autism is not the end of the world by ANY stretch of the imagination, and DS is a delightful, gorgeous, funny, fabulous little darling. But that is all brand new, and I feel a bit shell shocked.

DH is away, we have only spoken briefly. I don't know what I am 'asking' for here, nothing really.... just wanting to tell someone really. Thanks so much for being there. :)

hello all, can I join? another one who did Dry January and really needs to take control again. So am off the booze. Day 1 today.

Welcome tiggy !!!! Good to have you with us.

Corn I would feel pretty shell-shocked too tbh As a nurse I tend to come over all pragmatic so forgive me if that is not what you are looking for!! Is there a support group for you you can access locally? Is the provision for ASD good where you are? All though it feels like it would be a bona fide reason to want to drown in wine I'm not sure that would help. Will try to muster Calvary who know more than me! :)
Tiggy welcome from me too!

Thanks Lucy. :) Pragmatic works for me! I have e-mailed our local support group. The ASD provisions are apparently (according to the SEN teacher at school) 'hopeless' and I have ordered some books.

And I am all over the place wondering if it was something I did, if my parenting is at fault, ... etc.

So, alot of meaning, researching and educating is in my cards. :)

tiggy, sorry not all about 'me'me'me'. So, Day 1 for you. :) What techniques from Dry January do you have planned? So good to have you here, we love people joining our fun!

ahem- that word was 'reading' not 'meaning' pfft.

Corn oh good :) Helpful feedback from the SENCO then! From what I understand ASD is a genetic/developmental disorder so although our parenting shapes it does not cause. I know that Baron-Cohen is a big researcher on the subject at Cambridge so would be a good place to start and the Autism Society website is pretty good.

Oh, bless you,Lucy.

Cornchips I can second that it's nothing that you've done... I've met too many lovely amazing parents who have children with autism to think it could be anything they've contributed to. The fact that your DS is a lovely, funny boy will be partly down to the great job you're doing raising him though

Mocktails sound good - yes sunny weather always makes me think of sitting in the garden = beer garden = nice cold drink!

cornchips I remember the feeling when we got a diagnosis of aspergers for dd3. Although I was expecting it it was still a blow. It does get better though. Remember he is still the same lovely little boy, it doesn't change anything. Think of it as just being a useful tool to help you access any support that may help ds as time goes on.

well, I feel totally crap tonight. I am sooo overwhelmed and stressed out. I lost the plot earlier and became very shouty mummy at everyone's total lack of help. My mental health is not good right now, hopefully my antidepressants will start to work better without all the booze.
I have now gone to bed to hide form the world as I just can't take any more today. Going to try and distract myself with a book till I am tired enough to fall asleep.

Thanks for the warm welcome all, it means a lot as I take my first wobbly steps. Dry Jan was very tough in the early days and I only got through it because of the MN support.

Hello from me to all the new people Stick with it, it really IS worth it although yes can be grim at first

I have been mad busy in the veg patch and with the chickens. So much to plant out and new raised beds to make and fill Also work is mad busy ( I am self employed) The tiny Cockerel has decided he loves me and follows me around and sits at my feet when I am outside bless

I am so much more energetic and capable, now I am not hungover

Hi all. I've fallen off the thread but luckily not the wagon. Ive just passed 10months and glad every bloody day that I took the leap.

My main reason for popping on was to send massive hugs to Chips. My DS was DX with ASD about 18months ago. He was nearly 8 at the time & the only thing I can say is that early intervention might be able to really help both you and him. Please do PM if you want to chat more.

Hi to Molly and Teapot (and at a risk of sounding like I'm on radio phone in....) anyone else that knows me. And to anyone starting out - Just keep on keeping on. It's so worth it.

Hello all, thanks for the moral support, and welcome to the new folk.
Corn, of course you need to vent. That would be big and possibly scary news to hear, even if you know it doesn't change a jot how lovely your DS is. It probably feels like you are entering a new parenting world though in a way. My DS7 is being assessed for dyspraxia at the moment and DH is away and it all feels a bit like a parallel universe. I feel like a bad parent for having told him off over the years for things that possibly aren't his fault but are examples of dyspraxic behaviour. Anyway.....
Thanks Lucy for the asterix tip, I will be naming people left right and centre.
I got through last night, felt pretty tragic and just wished so much I could just have ONE glass of wine, but that just isn't how it works for me. I thought that on Saturday night and it turned into two bottles.
I have a long standing night out on Friday and have volunteered to drive much to the shock of many people, and possibly the disappointment of some who can always guarantee that I will be happy to drink with them to the end.
I don't know that I will ever be brave enough to say that I have a problem with alcohol to others.
I do love this perky non-hungover morning feeling, I wish I could bottle that to have at the witching hour

Cornchips for you and your beverage of choice. Such a hard time
my DD is on the spectrum and it can be very hard. But better to have a Dx so various agencies can be made to help

Morning everyone,

Thanks so much for the hand holding. bobbly you are right, he is the exact same boy..... the diagnosis has not come as a complete surprise it has to be said, but I feel floored by it, oddly. Thinking of the information as a tool by which to access support is really good.

Thanks Haggis, glad, Em for your thoughts and support and experiences. You are right, early dx is a good thing, I am sure. I need to read read read and learn. I am so tired though. Tossed and turned all night. I feel both numb and as though my heart is squeezed. I am worried about stigma, and about DS being sad, confused, bullied etc because he is a little different, all of which serves to emphasise why I need to read and learn and access information and support! Parallel universe desribes it Em.

Sigh. At least it helps explain why some things have been so hard.... although I know parenting is hard regardless.

I wish I had a tiny cockerel sitting on my feet glad !!That sounds rather blissful. I can offer an adolescent kitten on my bed though.... such a cutie she is. bobbly how are you this morning? Don't worry about being shouty mummy, we have all been there!!!!!

Haggis ten months!!!! Em I agree about bottling the perky sober monrings. There is no better feeling! tiggy I was lurking on the Dry Jan thread.... I agree, the support offered on these threads is the best. So vital to me. :)