Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DRY 7!!!

999 replies

mollyonthemove · 03/04/2015 20:10

The new thread for the alcohol free and the wanna be free Grin. come and join us Brew

OP posts:
MistressofPemberley · 29/05/2015 07:14

Hello newcomers.
Well, I'm going to try again. Day 1.
Without ever really feeling drunk, I just worked out that I've drunk about 60-70 units in the last week Hmm.
Thanks to all posters; I find reading about everyone's experiences and advice very helpful.

BamBam21 · 29/05/2015 11:47

Hi everyone. I am Envy at the thought of a child-free weekend!

Well I am now on Day 2! Last night went just fine, and both DP and me were quite happy just chilling out without any booze. Soooooo tired though! I am hoping that tonight will be fine too, and we can have another early night.

Hope everyone is fine today. Smile

MrsFring · 29/05/2015 13:16

Hi all. I've been sober for a long time but just wanted to recommend a TV programme which I've rediscovered on YouTube: it's called Rain in my Heart and was made by a British documentary maker in 2006, I think. It's ferociously hard- hitting but very humane and shows clearly where this road can lead. All the best to us all. X

nomorehangovers · 29/05/2015 20:12

Little blip last night but not too bad and committed again. Looking forward to a sober and productive weekend. Hope everyone is doing OK.

CornChips · 29/05/2015 20:47

Hi MrsFring i just sobbed through Rain in My heart. So so sad.
Congrats on long-term sobriety! I'd love to hear your story. :)

nomore congrats. :)

I am okay. Had a grumpy attack earlier, as I was buying supplies for the party tomorrow. I have not bought wine or alcohol of any sort for so long, so it was a bit triggering. But I will be fine. I feel quite sure I will get through it, and I also rang some friends and offered to drive them home afterwards as extra insurance. :) Focusing on how good I will feel on Sunday.

MrsFring · 29/05/2015 21:11

Glad you 'liked' it Cornchips, I thought that it painted a very clear picture of the possible endgame; I saw several people in various AA groups who were like these people, some of them didn't make it either.

I had my last drink in July 1994. AA was a perfect fit for me although I appreciate that it's not for everyone. I was lucky that I had my three children after I got sober, I really can't imagine problem drinking with kids in the mix, I'm full of admiration for all of you who are doing just that. I was in an abusive relationship when I began to drink to excess, it was very quick and nasty, over an 18 month period roughly, I never missed a day's work but was very ill, liver enlargement and panic attacks. AA saved my life without a doubt.

Although I know that I'm an alcoholic and always will be, i wouldn't change a thing. These experiences have made me very strong, and I would never ever judge anyone whose life is becoming unmanageable, having been there myself.

All the best. X

LastGleaming · 29/05/2015 23:13

Thanks for sharing MrsFring, love to hear about those that have made it long-term. I also found Rain in my Heart a very stark portrayal of what damage alcoholism really does.

Well done to all those that are picking themselves up and trying again. Never give up :)

Watched A Royal Hangover tonight, thanks for the recommendation Lucy. I very nearly didn't watch it as the trailer featured Russell Brand heavily. He massively irritates me but he wasn't in as much as I'd previously thought and actually made sense with what he said for a change Found myself nodding along to most of the movie and getting cross at the vastness of alcohol problems in Britain but virtually no services for support.

Why do I keep hearing contradictory media stories lately about how alcohol sales have fallen, the young drink less now yet others saying how liver problems especially in the young have gone up?

CornChips · 30/05/2015 08:07

Morning all, thanks MrsFring for sharing. It is interesting what you say about being grateful for the experience.... I am getting a sense of that for me too. I am not sure I can explain what I feel though properly!

I read this blog post below.... talks about thinking of being sober as your very own super power. I liked that so thought I would share. The post also talks about thriving in recovery....embracing it. I liked that too.

soberlearning.wordpress.com/2015/05/29/not-drinking-the-superpower-by-tommy-rosen/

Guineapig99 · 30/05/2015 09:10

Hello- am new here. Been an on off lurker for a while. I regularly drink too much, more if a party girl drinker but DP& I have got into habit of the mid week bottle of wine a few nights a week too which really isn't helping. I added up my alcohol units average and was shocked. It's left me overweight, tired, feeling bloated etc so have decided to take back control... Deffo time to cut waaayyyyy back. Tired if the hangovers, got 2 young kids & quite demanding job so just do not have the time to be hungover anymore

Lucy2610 · 30/05/2015 09:33

Morning all! :) That's a good question Last about contradictory news stories about drinking. IMO it's because probably less young people are drinking but those who are drink more hence the rising liver problems. Glad you liked the film!
Corn LOVE Tommy Rosen and his Recovery 2.0 online conference is coming up soon Grin
Welcome MrsFring 20 years+ I doff my sober cap to you
Welcome too Guineapig99 best decision I ever made Wink
How's everyone doing this morning? Hangover free? BadWool?

CornChips · 30/05/2015 11:32

This is the paragraph I love;

''The emphasis has to be on well-being. My recovery mantra is: “Don’t just survive addiction. Thrive in recovery.” I believe people in recovery must work toward the great shift from staying sober out of fear and necessity to staying sober out of love for the life they get to live as the result of staying sober. Once a person has made this shift, it is very likely they will excel in life.''

Welcome Guineapig :)

Lucy2610 · 30/05/2015 11:43

Yep - true dat Wink Grin

BadWool · 30/05/2015 11:52

A lot of reading to catch up on!

Rain in my Heart - I saw that when it was first broadcast and I was drinking relatively little at the time so I didn't fully relate to the disasters that were happening to people. I do much more so now. It stayed in my mind for all these years and I should watch it again.

I had a couple of unbelievably stressful work days Thurs - Fri and on Thursday I had a blow out. 2 bottles of wine and two double whiskys over the course of a day - more than I've drunk in a long while. My emotions were dreadful (also had my period starting), completely alienated dh. Yesterday morning I couldn't even face apologising because I've done it so many times now that sorry seems rather empty. I did say sorry though and he just replied, "Let's just concentrate on having a good day today" and squeezed my leg.

I feel such a terrible failure.

I don't know where to start. Lucy, I take on what you say about the detox but, to be honest, at this stage I'm frigthened that I'd drink through it and then drink again at the end. I can't seem to get my head in the right place for long enough. I woke this morning determined not to drink until 12pm but already I've had a large glass of cava.

I just don't know how to start. Or how to continue.

BadWool · 30/05/2015 11:54

Sorry Corn - I totally clashed with your positive story.

I wish I was there and could see that, I truly do.

Lucy2610 · 30/05/2015 12:27

Chin up BadWool Flowers If what we are doing isn't working then we have to acknowledge that we can't do this on our own and call in re-enforcements :) If you can't trust yourself to not drink through a home detox then maybe a residential detox where you are overseen initially would be better? I volunteer at one locally to me and they are superb. They give you long enough to get your head in the right place. Yes you drank before 12pm but not much before and only one glass. You can pull this back today and moving forward. You have the power and the choice :)

CornChips · 30/05/2015 13:30

BadWool Thanks xxxxx

MrsFring · 30/05/2015 17:34

Bad wool, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. What have you tried so far to stop drinking?

bobblypop · 30/05/2015 17:45

evening all.
I am back on day 1 Sad
stupidly just ended up drinking at bbq on Tuesday, then a couple of beers weds and Thurs evening and then 2 bottles of wine last night Blush
feeling so down on myself.
So cross, I was at 35 days for heaven's sake. Angry Blush

re-committing again though...onwards and upwards....

Lucy2610 · 30/05/2015 18:18

Sorry to hear that bobblypop Flowers Be kind to yourself as it's all part of the learning process :) Onwards ....

Guineapig99 · 30/05/2015 18:31

A friend told me to try the '3 drink rule' anyone tried it? She reckons that cutting down by sticking to 3 drinks only, any you like but stop a 3, no matter the occasion - wedding, birthday, dinner out etc is a good way to see if you can moderate. Going to give it a go, and if I can't do that for a month then it'll be cold turkey instead.Starting tonight, on hols at the mo' and out on the town tonight...

Lucy2610 · 30/05/2015 18:49

Guineapig I tried lots of 'rules' - none of them worked. If you'd told me I could only have 3 drinks I'd have poured myself 3 half pints of red wine and no that is not a recommendation!! For me rules were made to be subverted - that's why I don't drink anymore Wink

LastGleaming · 30/05/2015 20:26

Don't feel down on yourself bobbly, it's done now. Anything in particular trigger it off?

I really love that Corn thanks. Hope you have a great party tonight.

Yes that would make sense Lucy. The cynic in me wonders if a lot of young people are drinking less because of the rising prevalence of (soon to be illegal) legal highs, many of which you cannot drink alcohol on? Or maybe I'm doing them a disservice and they are just a lot more health conscious, I certainly see a lot more youngsters in the gym these days.

Sorry I really don't feel like I'm qualified to comment badwool, Lucy's the person for that, but you're still here and still trying and I'm glad you are Flowers

I couldn't do that either guineapig. I would start with the greatest of intentions and it would last for a day or two but very soon I'd be putting bottles away.

I take it all back, have had a lovely relaxing childfree weekend :) Went for an hour's run, clothes shopped for the dc, attended a protest rally, cooked one of my favourite dinners - steak and chocolate fudge cake was involved and most exciting of all, have a brand new book to get stuck into! I am content.

Lucy2610 · 30/05/2015 20:55

Last use of legal highs is still relatively small. I suspect we've done a really good job of making drinking to excess look really 'uncool' and so the younger generation aren't doing it because they don't want to be like their parents! Biscuit
Happy you've had a lovely time and enjoy your evening :)

LastGleaming · 30/05/2015 21:16

Grin brilliant, least we are useful for something! Ahh that's good, I think my view of legal highs is tarnished by a recent-ish concert we had here where a lot of ambulances had to be called because of teenagers collapsing from whatever they had taken. It gave me the impression they were all up to it, especially with the coverage about them lately. Plus I possibly judge by my own past. Teenagers getting sensible bodes well when I now look at my ds and think feeecck it's not that long away really, please don't be a tearaway like me.
I will and you too :)

Guineapig99 · 30/05/2015 22:47

interesting to hear... managed to stick to my 3 drinks so we'll see how it goes for the rest of my month. got a few big events coming up