Hi. I'm a regular poster, but had to change my name for this one. I've been married for 3 and a half years, second marriage. DH hasn't come near me for 3 of those years. Well, I tell a lie, we have had sex (of sorts) 4 times in 3 years, but always after days of almost pleading on my part, and then it was a disaster every time. His response to my requests is 'well you'll have to do all the work then, I can't be bothered'. When we have had sex in the past it is the weirdest I have ever known. he is totally silent...totally totally silent. No facial expressions, no groans or moans or sighs...I have to guess when it's over. His excuses have been 'too tired', 'no contraception', 'kids are awake'...basically anything he can think of. I am not on the pill/coil etc as I will not commit myself to that and then find we are still not having sex, but he refuses to wear a condom.
I have suggested going to relate, but he refuses point blank. he says he will not discuss his life with a nosy b*ch! When I have treid to talk to him he tells me to f*k off, or shut up, or 'you're boring me now'.
I have remained faithful so far, but I am running out of patience. I am 37, so still young enough to start again. But he is a real control freak, and I saw what he did to his first wife when she left him and I don't relish the same treatment. It was all emotional, not physical, but terrifying all the same. I'm not allowed to have photos of my kids on the walls, and when I or the kids talk to anyone on the phone he will make sure that he shouts at either me or the kids so that the person on the other end hears him and, I guess, knows he is in charge.
There is so much more to this story, but I would be here all night if I told you all of it. But the fact that I am putting it all down in 'writing' shows to me that I am at the end of my tether