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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A thread to say something you can't in real life!

381 replies

Sodthisagain · 19/03/2015 22:25

To my not so dear sister
Fuck off to the far side of fuck then fuck off some more! I am not the scheming, money swindling bitch you have insinuated I am today and will no longer going to be your doormat to shout at when you are stressed!!
Oh and don't forget fuck off!

There that's better :-)

OP posts:
VodkaKnockers · 20/03/2015 19:11

DS1. Why are you intent on destroying this family? I love you but I don't like you. I'm scared of you and can't cope with your temper anymore. I'm doing my best but it never seems to be enough for you.

I don't know what will happen on Monday and tbh I'm not sure what outcome I want.

Leafitout · 20/03/2015 19:13

Yes you are a vile shit cunt who will end up old and lonely in your house sitting in the corner, in an armchair stinking of cat piss. Stick your £2.72 a week child support in a savings pot, for when you need to purchase A smidgen of decency.

thornrose · 20/03/2015 19:20

DD, you are totally unable to control your anger and aggression. I get that. I know you feel guilt and shame afterwards.

I never get to tell you how I feel afterwards because that makes you feel bad Confused I can never tell anyone. I'll say it here.

I feel like rubbish, like a failure, like the lowest form of life. Like the only one in this dreadful place. I look at the scratches and bruises and think if you were my partner I'd leave you.

I can't leave you, I don't want to leave you. I love you, but bloody hell I hate....

mummytowillow · 20/03/2015 19:33

Mum - no I don't want the fringe it's taken a year to grow out, cut back in. I'm 45 and will have my hair how I want! Please shut the fuck up about it everytime you see me Angry

ExDH - so out of the thousands and thousands of metropolitan police, you are the only one who can work on Sunday. Meaning you're only spending one day with your little girl despite not seeing her for two months!

You're a fucking liar, you know it and so do I. Enjoy the night out or whatever the fuck your doing instead of seeing your daughter.

I'll hold her when she sobs because she wants to see you, while you're off with your latest tart!

AlmaMartyr · 20/03/2015 19:42

DSis, I really miss you.

GingerPhoenix · 20/03/2015 19:56

Mother, I hate you. You are not being assertive, you are a bullying control freak. Telling your child they are a disappointment and will be on the scrap heap isn't either. Sending them away to a highly academic school when it's the wrong school for them is not right. Not turning up to collect them after an operation is not right. Your racist and bigoted views are unacceptable and trying to force those views on others is so wrong on every level. That is why you are alone and without family living near you. None of us could stand being that close to you.

redpickle · 20/03/2015 20:06

Much much more trivial but I've got to get it out...

Mother fucking nursery teddy, you stink you little bastard. I can't believe I have to spend the weekend entertaining you and then writing about it - what's the fucking point? DS is 4 and can't write in your shitty journal so it's not something for him to do, it's something for ME to do - like I don't have enough. You really, really, REALLY do stink!

Ahhhh

pieceofpurplesky · 20/03/2015 20:11

Dear exH
You broke me. You broke my son. You told lies to ease your guilt. You lied to friends to make them hate me. You were a cunt to me. Our son is having counselling for depression. You blame me. Despite doctors, teachers and counsellors telling you that he is angry at you - still you blame me.

Why is it then I still love you?

Phoenixashes · 20/03/2015 20:11

Mum:

I have changed. I have changed because your emotional blackmail, point scoring and immature behaviour don't work anymore. Every time you send a shitty text etc I just laugh. I laughed when you emailed and said 'I had won' and that you would only see me at family events. Firstly what have I won exactly? No one was a winner...you just wanted to verbally bash me so you could 'win' yourself. secondly, I am quite happy to see you then and no more because I am happier and more confident without your control and negativity.

Sister:

We used to be close. But I realised it was because I did the running around. I used to call you, I used to drive to see you and when I stopped that was it. You are not a nice person....you wanted to report a so called friend to social services ffs and have said i don't like x,y and z but will still meet with them because they pick you up as you are a lazy bitch. You are so passive aggressive that you won't confront, but will shit stir and be so two faced. We have rarely seen each other this past year and when we have you talk about yourself. You are full of bullshit...'I'm going to start my own business doing x,y &z'.....'I'm going to learn how to drive but have failed to pass the theory 10x' and you never do it. Oh by the way. The way you treated us on holiday was appalling. If you didn't want us to go why invite us and then make us feel very unwelcome and a nuisance. You spoiled our very first holiday with our DC...

Go fuck yourself. You both deserve each other.

WrappedInABlankie · 20/03/2015 21:10

red

Write stinky teddy went to a theme park washing machine

CastielsClevererBetterSister · 20/03/2015 21:38

'D'Friend
Even as a big, fat frumpy DM of 3 Dcs I do actually have feelings. When you tell me I've put weight on do you think that you are telling me something that I don't already know? Do you think I can't see how fat I am? Do you think I am going to say thank you and miraculously lose 10 stones?
Stop talking about how wonderful you are at your job, being a single parent, doing DIY and generally being wonderful. I realise that its because you need the validation because nobody will tell you but it really fucks me off because its ALL the time!!!
Do you know what? I might need to lose half my bodyweight but my DH loves me and he took today off work with the sole purpose of spending the day in bed with me. We had sex for hours and oddly enough I don't feel the need to share how wonderful I am on Facebook even though i am on mumsnet

JokersMaid · 20/03/2015 22:15

D, I love you, I am completely smitten, you fantastic man, I want to tell you and I will, not yet, things need to calm down.

ExH I have no problem in tearing a strip off of you and stand up for myself, that was a shock for you, eh? drop the ego down a peg or two for fuck sake, you are a complete twunt.

Mum, I still miss you everyday, wish I could talk to you now

DancingDays · 20/03/2015 22:29

To the man that changed my world and blunged it into darkness because of your sick and twisted mind.

I can't hate you, fucking hell I've tried. Those years you had me, you really did a good job. There have been times where ending it all seemed a better option than hating you. It's because I needed you. You twisted my world and how I think so much that I couldn't understand life anymore.

Eventually I picked myself up after my whole family abandoned me, I had drunk far more than any teen should be able to and slept with too many men just so I could hate myself a tiny bit more, that extra hatred might have given me to courage to end it. I pushed so hard to hate myself enough to do it. I probably hated myself more than I ever should you.

Finally I realised ending it would have protected you, that really was your end goal, wasn't it. I used to think you just wanted broken and you had won with that, but now I realise you wanted self destruct, you have lost that. I won't let you win. I know you didn't expect me to be around 15 years after, I can see it in your eyes. It's fear I see. You fear that I will one day open my mouth, and you know as well as I do, I won't be able to stop. I will tell everyone what you did, one day.

So this isn't hate, this is me getting stronger than you have ever been. You failed, you didnt break me enough so I would end up protecting you. You broke me bad enough to make you fear what I will say. I can finally see my future isn't about trying to hate you, it's about me.

To my family, screw you.

TtipParty · 20/03/2015 22:30

Dear x, I can't stop wondering what it would be like to kiss you, and more. I'm frustrated that you seem so indifferent about me now, and that I've fucked up in the past when you've attempted to get closer. I really have no idea how you feel, or whether you're just not that into me. I seem to have conflicting urges whenever you're around, perhaps because i've lived my adult life as straight, but I want that to change.

Dear y, you really are a pain in the arse. You're a total hypocrite, talking about empowerment and then controlling what others can and can't say. or just ignoring them and talking over them. I have no idea why most people think the sun shines out of your arse, except that you're one of those alpha females who knows exactly who to suck up to and who to belittle, and exactly how subtle to be to get away with it. I'm soooo glad you're leaving and I haven't contributed a single penny or second to your leaving gifts/do. Which seems like karma. Not having to listen to your mannish droning will be a gift in itself. Obviously I can't say this to anyone in real life, but ha, here it is in writing! put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Sallystyle · 20/03/2015 22:38

Dear Dad

Yes you are a sociopath, yes you let us all down, yes you are evil. You don't see me or want to, you park outside my house to go to a certain shop but don't knock on my door. I have to hear about how wonderful you are to ONE of your 18 grandchildren while you don't even know what the names of all your other grandkids even are. You broke me.

Despite that, I fucking miss you sometimes. I hate myself for missing you; you don't deserve it.

addicted2cake · 20/03/2015 23:09

To the guy I have been texting all day and night for the last 2 days. Get the bloody hint and ask me out!! Lol

Dowser · 20/03/2015 23:23

Letter to my exh's OW. That's the first one he had. The one that ripped my family to shreds.

Omg! Where to start. Well, to give you the benefit of the doubt you don't know what lies he was telling you as well as me because why else would you become the OW in the first place. What sort of a woman sets outs to ensnare another woman's husband? Were you that desperate for a man? Wouldn't it have been kinder to have said to lover boy. Ok we have feelings for one another but before this goes any other further , leave your wife first. Then I know that you are genuine and your marriage truly has broken down.

Well that's what I would have said because I have scruples and obviously you don't.

Did you want my life? I know when your husband ended your marriage you had to give up your nice house in a nice part of town and live in a council house. I spoke to him you know. He said he had bettered himself. Wonder what he meant by that? Also he said to me about my husband ' get rid! The mans an arse' but more of 'the arse' later. Anyway, my husband possibly looked like he was rich pickings. He had a very good job with a good career and we had a nice lifestyle. He was very good at bragging so maybe you thought he had more than he really did because let's be honest he was a bit of a fat bastard wasn't he? Trouble is, he was my fat bastard...so refer yourself back to paragraph one.

Now then, something you didn't know about 'our fat bastard'. He was very, very careless. While he was up to his eyeballs in glorious fornication with you ( more on that later ) he was dropping clangers at work. Not that, that would worry you of course, but he could have lost his job. Refer back to paragraph two. Now then, he was cunning and wily enough to sort it out, damage limitation I think it's called but something you probably aren't aware of is we all shared a computer and he often forgot to log out. Oh the fun we had with your emails Cl...., oops I nearly let your name slip there, silly me, we can all be careless but he made his carelessness an art form.

So, we all knew about your blindfold and your little triangle of pubic hair poking below some garment designed to titillate the bollox off him and without seeing you naked I can describe exactly where your tattoos are. What a laugh we had when the girls came round with a bottle of wine on a night.

Course this wasn't straight away you understand because your smutty affair ripped the heart out of my decent family life. Yes, that's right back to paragraph one again but at least there was some compensation in knowing I wasn't the only one crying my eyes out but you were too because lover boy wouldn't leave his little in- the - dark wifey and you had people drive past my house to see if his car was there and you were checking him out too. I bet that was a real barrel of laughs for you. Did you write a letter to Dear Deirdre... Stating ...my boyfriend is living with his wife. Well, that's what happens when you take up with a married man....they are...well...married! So in between playing 'hide the sausage ' and ' we need more than one blindfold because he's a double bagger' the real nail biting excitement was only just beginning for you. Were they having sex?Well, I'm not going to tell you. I'll let you sweat that one out but I hope you had the sense to check into the GUM clinic like I had too when I found out about the business trips and the prostitutes.

So, naive OW lets get down to the nitty gritty? How old were you ? 40 odd ! Did your mother teach you nothing because mine taught me never to trust anyone who cheats on their wife because that makes them......a liar and a cheat! That's right. Why would you throw in your lot with someone like that? Well, there's no fool like an old fool is there but at least you had the sense to finally dump him when you found out he wasn't where he said he was. That must have been heartbreaking for you to find out that he wasn't in the middle east after all for a week having job interviews and trying to find a flat for your new life together. No, he was on a two week family holiday and every time we had a photo taken I made sure he was right in the middle of things, near a famous landmark....just in case you ever wanted proof of course. How we all laughed. Those that were in on the joke of course ...which left only him and my little grandson who was too young to understand why all the adults were falling about laughing all the time.

And finally. I'll be dead honest. I felt pretty crap about myself when you were carrying on with my husband. I've always kept myself smart and never let myself go but knowing that you were ten years younger ...hurt. In my very vivid imagination I pictured you as a smoking hot femme fatale. Like a modern day Sophia Loren( ok, ok with four tattoos then) with your blindfold on and whip to hand ( although I never saw any marks on those white blubbery arse cheeks of his) . I wondered if I'd ever passed you in town, at the pub or supermarket but I wasn't going to torture myself over it and then several years ago a friend outed you on the social media.

Omg...you've let yourself go love haven't you since you split up? How on earth did you manage to get so......fat? I mean , we all put on a bit of weight over the years ...who hasn't? But you've taken 'putting on a bit of timber' to a whole new level. We could all eat like that sweetheart ....but the question is...should we?

Anyway, you've moved on and so have I. You did me a favour at the end of the day. I'm ten times happier than I ever was with 'our little prince '. I just wish the pair of you had come clean and done it in a decent, honest and dignified manner.

Judydreamsofhorses · 20/03/2015 23:34

Dear mum,

Please have the tact to be low key when their baby comes. I can't bear it otherwise.

Dear R,

I hope you know just how much. I suspect you have no idea. Always.

Judy

AlbertSpanglersConscience · 20/03/2015 23:46

Dear work colleague. You are a vile individual. Everyone at the leaving do which you organised for yourself hates you and attended out of duty as we are a v small team. No one wanted to contribute to your leaving gift. You're bitter and poisonous. Our team will be so much happier without your vast and dilusional ego.
Good riddance you inappropriate cunt and I hope the door whacks you in the arse on your way out.

traceybaybee · 21/03/2015 00:04

To my baby boy who i carry in my tummy just now, i love you more than words could ever say seeing your wee gorgeous face at my 4d scan after being told you were a boy made me cry tears of sheer joy and happiness. I cant wait to hold you in my arms come june time (or when you decide to appear)
To my arsehole of an ex you are an absolute bastard to the highest degree. 3 years of my life i gave you for essentially nothing. You used to joke about getting me pregnant yet when it happens shock horror its my fault Hmm. You were willing to pay for an abortion because you didnt want our baby. Well now as you may be getting ready to emigrate to australia or while it may be lies and your still in glasgow i honestly hope you shit hedgehogs the rest of your days and remember karma is a bitch and will always get you because what goes around comes around.
And one last thing our little boy is going to be better off without you in his life. I just wish i hadnt let you into mine. Good riddance you arrogant selfish fucker i hope you rot in the fiery pit of hell where you belong

GraysAnalogy · 21/03/2015 00:30

Oh I have one, to someone who I was working alongside yesterday. Wont name her or her job title but here goes..

Why did you chose your job? Why did you spend the three years training which I'm sure were difficult, only to come out the other side and be such an unkind, unprofessional and idiotic individual? What you were asked to do isn't rocket science, yet you couldn't manage do to it with the professionalism and grace that your colleagues seem to manage. You made my patient feel like shit, so much so we BOTH have reported you to the ward manager. I would like to speak to you myself but you have form for reporting people for 'bullying' and I don't think I'd be able to hold my temper in.
I don't give a shit if you were tired, I don't give a shit if you were out drinking the night before, I don't give two flying fucks if your boyfriend is pissing you off (all excuses I've heard you whinge about to your colleagues at the station) you don't do what you did.
You utter cunt.

Butterflywings168 · 21/03/2015 01:26

Ex-P: I still love you. I think I always will in a way. You are a lovely, sensitive, sweet, person.
I just couldn't deal with your MH issues when I have my own.
We weren't good for each other. Part of me wonders if we could have made it work. Most of me knows we couldn't.
I needed a clean break. I have written you so many texts and emails I can't send. I suspect you have done the same. Much as it breaks my heart I can't be 'just' friends. I wish you nothing but the best.

Butterflywings168 · 21/03/2015 01:34

Oh and dear not-so-DM: I cannot believe you would date a married man, especially after all your histrionics when my dad had affairs including suicide threats. Seriously?! PS - you are a narc and despite your throwing every manipulative tactic in the book at me, I am no longer prepared to pretend your emotional abuse didn't hurt me or didn't happen and play happy families. I do love you but I don't actually like you very much. I know you don't like me much either.

TheTriplePointOfWine · 21/03/2015 01:45

DMIL

You're awesome. Thank you for everything.

BastardGoDarkly · 21/03/2015 02:07

Some of these are so so sad Flowers

MIL... You are wasting your life! You're unhappy, you probably always have been, but it's not too late to change that. Please try.