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Original poster

What would you think if you saw a 47yr old man was dating a 24yr old woman?

145 replies

SimileMilly · 12/03/2015 20:50

Just that really. Both completely single. I'm the 24yr old. Own my own home, decent stable job, not reliant on anybody for anything nor will I ever be after being screwed over in the past. We have similar interests, enjoy each other's company, seem to just click. Am I mad to even consider wanting to date him?!

OP posts:
MadeMan · 12/03/2015 20:52

I think go for it. Smile

meandjulio · 12/03/2015 20:55

I would certainly double take but if the participants were confident in their relationship, they're certainly both adults. I suppose if the relationship looked for any reason as if it weren't working, I might guess the age gap was a factor. I suppose that's prejudice.

TheHappinessTrap · 12/03/2015 20:55

I'd have my opinion about it but the decisions you make about your own life are not based on my opinions!

SoleSource · 12/03/2015 20:56

Only a complete fuckwit would judge you for that.

Tobyjugg · 12/03/2015 20:57

I'd say hello Gran and hello Granddad, 'cos that was their age difference and they were married for 40 years +.

thereinmadnesslies · 12/03/2015 21:01

DH and I have a similar age gap. It was fun in my 20s, but I'm struggling a bit now I'm mid 30s and DH is starting to think about retirement.

vestandknickers · 12/03/2015 21:04

Honestly I'd wonder what you had in common.

Original poster
SimileMilly · 12/03/2015 21:05

Would it make a difference if I told you he is older than my dad ? Blush

I'm not looking for a father figure. I'm not even looking for a long term serious relationship - although wouldn't put up any barriers if something developed into that naturally - but I trust him and really like spending time with him. And trust is a really big deal for me.

OP posts:
FuckItBucket · 12/03/2015 21:07

some might think bad things of him as he is the man.

If the genders were switched you would get 'you go girl' type comments.

Personally I see no issue. I wouldn't do it. My dad is 43 and I'm 24, it would be like seeing one of my dads mates Grin

Consenting adults so it doesn't matter what anyone things

Methe · 12/03/2015 21:10

My only thought would be that men die younger than woman and having the love of your life die when you're 45 can't be much fun. I'm almost 35 and dating a man who was almost 60 would be out of the question to me as I'd be worried about him keeling over.

I suppose it depends what you want out of it in the long term.

YvetteChauvire · 12/03/2015 21:11

Go for it. Life's too short. If anyone judges you, they are the one with the problem. There are similar age gaps with couples in our family and the gap between me and DH is not insignificant. None of us care what others think.

Methe · 12/03/2015 21:11

Keeping over sounds so harsh Blush

What I mean is..... I'd be worried about us not having enough time together.

Honestly.

Blush
Original poster
SimileMilly · 12/03/2015 21:14

Okay, more info.

So I'm the 'together' one. Own house, nice car, financially stable, decent job in management…

He's a mature student. Renting a room in a mate's house. Drives but doesn't have his own car.

I know these things don't matter but nobody could level it against me that I am 'using' him. In terms of what we have in common: same hobbies, same awful taste in music, same love of gin and cooking and Friday nights with Spotify and a bottle of wine. We have separate social circles, totally separate lives, but our paths keep crossing and I'm now running out of reasons why NOT to date him.

OP posts:
Original poster
SimileMilly · 12/03/2015 21:16

He is very fit and healthy. If he hadn't told me his age I wouldn't have known he was so old. I, on the other hand, come from a family who die young. I suffer from dodgy joints and crippling endometriosis. Mentally I'm about 50 Blush

OP posts:
Methe · 12/03/2015 21:18

Then do what makes you happy :)

mariamin · 12/03/2015 21:19

You are running out of reasons not to date him? Doesn't sound very romantic or that you are really that keen

countessmarkyabitch · 12/03/2015 21:20

I would think: why do I even know there age and why would I possibly care?
Nobodys business but you and him.

Pasithea · 12/03/2015 21:21

Same difference here we have been together 20 years. It has nothing to do with anyone else.

wannaBe · 12/03/2015 21:23

What you do with your life is your business. But...

Before getting into any relationship you should think about the potential for it to become a long-term thing, and the implications:

You may want children, he may be past that age.

Does he have children of his own? if so they may be nearer your age than he is, how do you feel about that? and more importantly, how do you think they'd beel about that?

If you stay together you will most likely be widowed in your 50's.

What is his history?
mature student means he presumably doesn't have a job, that would be a turnoff for me unless there was a good reason, and quitting your job to doss at a mate's house while you get a degree in your late 40's wouldn't do it for me I'm afraid.

Original poster
SimileMilly · 12/03/2015 21:26

He has no kids. I have a 3yr old. Chances are I won't be able to have any more and I'm more than happy with the one I have.

He works part time around uni. Freelance writing and the like from what I gather.

OP posts:
Georgethesecond · 12/03/2015 21:29

I think give it a go. But be prepared for people to assume you are his daughter.

KiaOraOAotearoa · 12/03/2015 21:30

Not that bigger gap, but quite big in my case, too.
Honestly? Don't. Because there comes a time when you're at two very different points in your lives. I often felt the age gap made much older than I actually was. He'd 'done' the travelling, I didn't, when 'my time ' came, he'd either point blank refuse (I've been there, wore the tshirt) or accompany me and give me a running commentary and reminiscing about '20 years ago'. Trust me, it becomes rather tedious.
You seem to 'have it together', he's coming up to retirement and is a student. Nah.
Later on let's say you might want children. Let me explain, at 50 something they're not exactly up for sleepless nights and swimming lessons on Saturday mornings, a trip to Legoland or similar childcentered hell is excruciating at best. He's been known to lie down for a nap in the zoo. So, in view of my personal experience, don't do it.

Iflyaway · 12/03/2015 21:31

Enjoy it for what it is but just don't end up taking care of him...

YvetteChauvire · 12/03/2015 21:36

OP, the age difference is still irrelevant in my book. As you've pointed out he is healthier than you and he could outlive you.

However, the important question for me would be whether he is feckless or whether he is a hard worker.

I know a number of women who juggle children, part-time work, studies and still maintain their own homes. All of them are younger than your man.

toffeeboffin · 12/03/2015 21:41

Oh for god's sake just go on a date with the guy!

You like him, he likes you, go for it.