What would you think if you saw a 47yr old man was dating a 24yr old woman?

[SimileMilly]

Just that really. Both completely single. I'm the 24yr old. Own my own home, decent stable job, not reliant on anybody for anything nor will I ever be after being screwed over in the past. We have similar interests, enjoy each other's company, seem to just click. Am I mad to even consider wanting to date him?!

Oops - haven’t finished....

What I wanted to say - these big gap relationships work OK for a while, but then age does catch up. And age becomes more than just a number....
When you are 37 - a 62yo man won’t be as able to keep up with you...
And at 47 - you’ll be a caretaker....

I am about 20years older than you. And trust me - men in their 70s aren’t looking attractive in any way....
My single fiends aren’t dating 70yos.
All stick to the ~50s.

So - if you do change your mjnd about kids one day. Do find a man closer in age so that they can stick around longer and still run after them.

The age thing didn't put me off when reading this but the bit where you are the one with the house and car etc. Would he have more to benefit than you - in as much as you would be taking care of him? If you're ok with that, then ok go for it.

I know a lot of people with big age gaps. My MIL was one and thought that she was stuck with an 'old' person. However, when she was 50 she was still as outgoing as she always had been and he was a stay-at-home sort. Depends on your personalities in the end.

MMmomDD I am sorry but I have to disagree. He will still be the same person in his 70's as he is now. Yes I find him attractive and I did when we met when I was 19.

And the kids thing, my mind will never change for reasons I wont go into.

I strongly believe that we will be as happy as we are now even in 20 years time. I am sure and aware that I will probably out live him but I will cross that bridge when I come to it but frankly I am not a morbid person so never discuss or think about it.

@hellhavenofury

It’s because you are young and think people stay young forever.
They don’t. People change, personalities change.
Aging, body going, pains and aches... all of that changes people.
I observe it in my mom’s generation - who are now in their 70s.
And - to my mid 40s - those men don’t look attractive.
And they won’t look to you either, when you get there.

And of course - 19yos would find 45yo fit men attractive... No surprise there - they are mature, confident, settled in life...
A man that age going after a teenager, is a whole other story, of course 😂😂😂

No one knows how life turns out. So - enjoy the time with him. Whatever time you have.

@MMmomDD I think that sounds quite patronising. I am not exactly a child at 27! I think we all have different tastes and thoughts so to categorise that to everyone is a little unfair.

I was a mature 19 year old adult so how 'that is another story' makes it sound wrong but when it is 2 consenting adults I don't see that!!

No one knows how life turns out. So - enjoy the time with him. Whatever time you have.

Wow thanks, he is fitter and mentally fitter than most people in their 70's so he isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Everyone has their own taste and personally people my own age are of no interest to me!

zombie three and a half year old thread
Damn it - I missed that totally.
Cheers!

Everyone judges, it’s only seen as judging when it’s something someone doesn’t agree with.

The opinions of few others matter. If anyone judges my choices as bad, I like to ask them what it is about me that makes them think I’m incapable of making and informed and considered choice? Normally shuts them up but to be fair most people know me well enough to know I’m not impulsive and prone to overthinking!

Concentrate only on what the people who love and care for you feel. If they don’t agree, you’re more than capable of explaining and then saying you’re happy to agree to disagree. Those who are pushy and nasty aren’t very good friends anyways.

FFS wildeower why bump an old thread. I’ve wasted my time on this now thanks to you.

ZOMBIE THREAD

Has he been married before? Because renting a room at his mates isn’t normal at his age so that screams divorcee not that there’s any problem with that, in fact that would make the situation more normal than weird.
If he isn’t, has he recently separated from a long term partner? He sounds very immature and financially insecure but again he may not be able to afford a house, car etc if he has come out of a relationship.

These are the questions that i’d be asking. Age is irrelevant to me.

But please don’t trust him too quickly. I’m 25 and i’ve learnt this the hard way, i trust too easily and it’s been taken advantage of.

If it’s any consolation my stbxh left me for a woman 10 years older than us, we’ve been separated nearly 7 months now and it seems to be going well for them despite the age gap.

Hope it goes well for you

Male perspective here.

Similar age difference but she's 10 years older than you and I'm 10 years older than him. We've been together four years so far - not without some difficulties and trauma - mostly because of item 1 below but...

1. Your parents will likely disapprove - you may be able to deal with that, you may find it hard
2. Random strangers may frown and (rarely) comment
3. A few MNers would give him flak if he posted here with the same story
4. Nobody - including you - can predict the future
5. If there is a long-term, it may become harder or it may become even better
6. Only you know for sure what your heart wants
7. @fuckitbucket probably the most spot-on comment so far

Am I mad to even consider wanting to date him?!
In a word, no. What we've experienced has been mostly wonderful.

@hellhavenofury

45yo man going after a 19yo woman isn’t wrong, obviously. Legal and all that. So - don’t worry, not a judgment.
It is perfectly clear why a grown man would want a teenager. They are easier to impress and keep around.

And I was that mature 19yo, just as well. Also dated much older men - not quite 45yos, but still. It was fun. And exciting.

You’ll find as you advance in age that men your age also grow up and will look a lot more attractive to you with time.

You are not a child at 27. But you do sound naive about aging.
And you will change a lot in the next 10-20 years. You just don’t know it yet.
And eventually he won’t be able to keep up.
These huge large age relationships lasted back in the day, because people were different.
They also last in the situation of large income difference.

All to their own

Just letting you know that this is a zombie thread - it was started in 2015!

You sound like a mature and sensible adult. Go for it :) xxx

🧟‍♀️

Joysmum

Don’t have a go at someone else for missing that a thread is a zombie when you missed it yourself, ffs

Who cares! Go for it, don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks.
When I was 20, I was in a relationship with guy who was 24 years older than me. We lasted 6 years. I don’t regret it for a moment and we’re still friends to this day. He’s 61 soon and is a lovely guy.
I know someone in their early 30’s who’s married to a man in his late 50s. They’re a lovely couple.

OP I was 25 when I met my ex who was 48 at the time. Age was never a factor in our relationship as like your guy he was very youthful and I have always been more mature than my years.

I had a baby with my guy who was 54 at the time, he was fit and healthy so no problems there and we always enjoyed a very healthy sex life so I say go for it

My dad and step mum have a slightly bigger age gap and they have been happily married for 30 years. It just worked for them and they have so much fun together.

My fIrst DH was ten yrs older than me. People often mistook him to be GF to our youngest DC. This didn’t bother me as such

However............

Because I was so much younger, DH was always insecure.

He stopped me from going out with friends or even other family members. Over the years I felt stifled by this and it caused many arguments between us.

He passed away when youngest was 9 yrs old.

I would not date an older man again. My current DP is 3 yrs younger than me and this is preferable.

Needless to say, having lived the reality, I am not in favour of a big age gap so my advice would be.....don’t do it.