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Original poster

Shall I tell his wife?

307 replies

upsetagain · 27/02/2015 19:16

Met a lovely guy online, he seemed perfect in so many ways. It was very intense, only 3 weeks but very intense. We planned a future together. I couldn't believe how compatible we were. I have waited for years to meet someone like him. Couldn't believe my luck.

Anyway found out he was married with a couple of kids. He gave me the usual rubbish, only together for the sake of the children. Separate bedrooms blah blah.

Told him it was over. I felt so angry, upset and humiliated and deceived, anyway I have done some digging around and have found out who his wife is on facebook. I have written her a long message with the complete transcripts of everything we said to each other on Facebook and intimate photos we sent to each other. I am just debating whether to send it to her.

OP posts:
PeppermintPasty · 27/02/2015 21:54

This is very odd.

Anyway....I think the real question is why you would even think of sending "intimate" pictures to someone. For what? It's even slightly weirder to me than taking them/allowing them to be taken in the first place.

Step away from it and cut the drama. Even if you sent them to her he'd probably string her a line. No doubt he's a practised liar.

Christinayang1 · 27/02/2015 21:58

I don't think it is being cynical when someone proclaims love, building a future and is sending intimate photos to someone who doesn't even know their name

Christinayang1 · 27/02/2015 21:59

Op learn a lesson from this and move on and examine your motives for telling the wife

Koalafications · 27/02/2015 22:02

Is this a joke?!

You were in love with him but didn't tell him your real name? If you were so sure there was mileage in the relationship why didn't he know your name?

ISpeakJive · 27/02/2015 22:06

Higgle, that does sound very romantic and lovely and I totally get that a handful of people do find love this way but I take it you didn't meet your DH via online dating?

Original poster
upsetagain · 27/02/2015 22:06

Is it about me not telling him my real name?

My question here is should I tell his wife?

I have explained my reasons for not telling him my real name

OP posts:
SylvaniansAtEase · 27/02/2015 22:08

Eeek weirdness. I'm off.

What did you tell him your name was OP?

Charlie97 · 27/02/2015 22:10

Ispeak, is the online dating relevant? I'm sure there are 1000s of happily ever after couples who have met through on line dating.

iwashappy · 27/02/2015 22:11

Higgle I think that might be me that you were referring to. I commentated up thread and yes I would rather someone had told me years ago.

OP if you do decide to tell her I wouldn't tell her any more detail than necessary. As someone said earlier you can't forget intimate details whether that be messages or pictures. She can always ask for more details from you should she wish to. Perhaps a link to his dating profile and say that you met up without realising he was married.

SylvaniansAtEase · 27/02/2015 22:11

Anita Jane Gallbladder

Rosie Twinks

Judith Preamble

Lola Whipsnade

PeppermintPasty · 27/02/2015 22:12

And some of us have told you our views. No, don't tell his wife, and as Christina says, examine your motives for wanting to tell his wife.

I say this as someone who usually thinks the betrayed should be told, but this is too odd. It is a massively peculiar thing to send her pictures of you and him IMO. Or his cock, or whatever. I mean, why would you do that? It demeans you and her. Walk away. Chalk it up.

Original poster
upsetagain · 27/02/2015 22:12

I am not going to mention the name I gave on here lol

I am naive but not that naive!

OP posts:
Original poster
upsetagain · 27/02/2015 22:12

None of them Syvlanian lol

OP posts:
Christinayang1 · 27/02/2015 22:13

Tell the wife it's up to her what she does with it, but I think it is only fair

Original poster
upsetagain · 27/02/2015 22:13

That is good advice iwashappy thank you

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 27/02/2015 22:15

Was it Connie Lingus ?

Wink
Christinayang1 · 27/02/2015 22:15

Then move on ( we have all made an arse of ourselves at one time) learn from it and I am sure you will meet someone that you can have a real relationship with....minus the name change

Original poster
upsetagain · 27/02/2015 22:16

Nope AF, he did like that though!

OP posts:
SylvaniansAtEase · 27/02/2015 22:16

Ah sorry OP having a daft moment, Friday night and wine (and too much work still to do).

I think it's pretty odd to have given a false name. But that's not what you asked about. Listen to iwashappy. She's been through what you'd be opening up his wife to... Like she says, she wishes she'd known a LONG time ago.

Good luck.

AnyFucker · 27/02/2015 22:16

Eileen Dover ?

SylvaniansAtEase · 27/02/2015 22:16

Hah AF!!!

Original poster
upsetagain · 27/02/2015 22:17

Wrong again AF!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 27/02/2015 22:17

Jenny Taylor ?

AnyFucker · 27/02/2015 22:18

Mona Lott ?

I'm having fun now Grin

Original poster
upsetagain · 27/02/2015 22:18

This could be a long game !!!

OP posts: