Is splitting the only advice people on here are ever capable of?

[MrsCs]

When someone is being abused, or someone is unfaithful, fine I get it, that's good advice.

On the other hand.....I've only been on this website a short time and every blinking thread about relationship problems gets 'why are you together?' 'what are you getting from this?'.

Relationships are hard work, they have good times and bad times, and it might help if people on here had a bit of creativity with their advice! Separations and divorces are very hard on everyone involved, and if it can be avoided it's most likely for the best, unless a couple are genuinely deeply unhappy.

Banned from what? From posting on the website? There are Talk Guidelines so the posts get deleted which I accept. I had one post deleted - does it mean I should be banned from exercising my right of expression simply because my opinion differs from the majority of people?
What are the rules F.ckyouChris?

You are allowed to have a different opinion, but when you use that opinion to be goady or offensive you will get banned.

I haven't seen your post so I have no idea. But I often find people who cry "free speech" are usually misusing the concept of free speech to be nasty to others.

Giving a different opinion won't get you banned. I suggest you read the talk guidelines. If you've been banned in error email MN.

I've read all the new posts and I want to reiterate I really never meant to upset anyone with this thread. I'm glad some people enjoyed debating the matter but I am sorry if anyone was genuinely upset by it. I think I misunderstood a lot of the advice on here and the value of it. I've been reading the threads navigating the way someone else suggested and I was missing a lot of good advice for women on here.

I certainly never meant to fuel nastiness or encourage people to think women should stay in abusive relationships. Thank you to anyone who gave me advice on using the website and forum etiquette generally :).

Yes, I hope that I was banned in error. I found an extract from an article back from Gina Ford case:

"Justine Roberts, who co-founded Mumsnet six years ago, told the Guardian that Mumsnet is neither a "pro- or anti-Gina Ford website", adding: "You have to view these things as a conversation rather than a newspaper publication where it is possible to vet everything. The mothers are in revolt because they view this as a huge attack on their freedom of speech."

Err

Funny how that is the quote you chose to post.

I've not been banned.. One post was deleted because I broke forum posting etiquette/rules... My business is run on a PT basis, so I don't always browse or post because I don't have the time whilst working..

And I'm sorry but MM is quite well known for it's acerbic narrative...

MrsCs you are very gracious :) I hope you join in and give advice where you can. It's amazing how much support women have found here.

Kris, I don't see how that's relevant at all. I haven't seen your original posts so have no idea what you're arguing against.

Freedom of speech means you can say anything, but you might get sued for it, or face some other consequence. You don't have a right to personally attack anyone on here or say unfounded things as fact.

I don't think I'll ever understand the mindset of anyone who posts on a forum that they don't like.

Who has time for that?

And I'm sorry but MM is quite well known for it's acerbic narrative...

So what, we have to make sure we keep it up?

It is no excuse to be nasty.

In plain English... MM is well known throughout the internet for posters being nasty.. I personally don' think what I said was nasty. Tit for tat bickering yes.. Nasty no....

There is a line between the two, and I feel you were on the wrong side in a few of your posts. Quite unnecessarily in fact. Most of your posts seem quite organic in their nastiness.

who/what is MM?

MN.. Typo..

In what way Slice...

so you join a forum that you understand is known for being "nasty" and you get a post deleted as beyond the pale - does that not indicate to you that you ahve misjudged the forum?

Lots of people have had posts removed, the post was removed because of breaking forum rules regarding quoting old posts, not because of it's content..
What is your point...??

Can you not see that quoting old posts was also nasty though, regardless of the rules?

I really CBA to dissect every one of your posts to explain why they are nasty. It is the impression that I formed of you upon reading them, and I don't really need to justify it.

Tbh I was so glad to see the posts from newrule and frankbough on this thread. I could completely relate and agree to what you were saying. For example, "don't make foolish choices". Some women claim that their man magically becomes a bully overnight all of sudden. There will be always early signs that the person is capable or have the potential to be abusive.
Also there was a line about learning to be content with what you have and not chasing unrealistic expectations. I completely agree with that.
It's seems to be an expectation on this site for a "perfect man" which everyone knows doesn't exist. I would love to hear more from women on here who have been with their husbands for decades and to learn from their experience.

"I would love to hear more from women on here who have been with their husbands for decades and to learn from their experience"

you can't have been around long if you haven't heard women in this situation. or perhaps you weren't listening because it didn't fit your narrative of what posters on MN are like and what they are advising?

There is a very strong message on MN that any slight push from a husband (whom they love I assume) for sex can be considered a rape. Yet when I opened the thread that I don't feel like having sex before marriage - most people call me unreasonable etc. It's like in our society I shall force myself to sleep with someone I'm attracted to because I'm not a virgin even though I don't want to do it before the wedding.

People called you unreasonable krismint1 because you seemed over-anxious to marry someone without knowing if you were sexually compatible and when you're not even divorced from your first husband. You also said yourself that you are avoiding having sex with someone because your response to intimacy is to rush into marriage. There seems to be a few psychological issues that need some attention.

No-one here calls a 'slight push' for sex from a husband rape.

Just because some people believe I should be concern about sexual compatibility - I repeat that I don't feel I should sleep with someone simply to check my sexual compatibility. Having feeling of mutual attraction is enough for me to make this judgment. Most people in the the first two years of their relationships have intense sex and it later that other factors affect their sexual life like stress, children, lack of exercising etc.
You may say, "well, you might like different things in sex with him". I don't believe in this argument either. If I'm attracted to him - I will most certainly like what he likes.
Also I don't want to rush in marriage. I just want a marriage not a cohabitation. I don't know how it will turn out but I made a conclusion that i need to relax a little bit on the whole issue.

I don't think certain posters are reading the same forum as I am.

The only time I've seen people cry "rape" is when someone has been raped.

Cogito I'm glad you've clarified that.