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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

HOBBITS BAR - still finding it hard to move on ......(part 3)

999 replies

greenberet · 15/02/2015 12:08

here we go ladies & drifting dogs welcome too of the harvey kind!

grab your drinks - Brew, Wine and izzietinis dependant on time of day & how we are feeling

Original thread

Part two

anyone welcome, new, old, lurkers we share with you all.
no requirements re posting as & when, one offs, rants, extreme rants, blubbing we dont mind, we've done it all .

we like songs, we like pics, we like humour, we like the words "twunts" and "fuckwittery" & we send each other Flowers often!

Our motto KOKO and our theme tune

join us Smile

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Hobbitwife001 · 28/02/2015 08:02

Soz, ( clambers back up onto podium) forgot to mention my dog!
Way to go dog!

Izzie595 · 28/02/2015 08:15

may you both rot in Hell

.....particularly in the Knob and Flap department of course

Hobbitwife001 · 28/02/2015 08:21

Hi Izzie, thought you had been a bit quiet, it's only natural to have a bit of a crash my lovely, we all know how that feels.

I think you've been running on empty for a while now, and it's finally catching up with you. Can't you just leave the decorating for now?
What's the rush? Is it just to fill your time ? Can you not do something nice for you and your sons instead? Go out for lunch, to the cinema or the theatre, be a bit more sociable and go out gallivanting! Lots of love, x

Izzie595 · 28/02/2015 08:37

Hi Hobbit it's important to have control of my environment at a time like this, hence the decorating. I will feel a lot better knowing that it's all done and nice. We deserve to be in a house that is finished. It's been left a long time, due to past events, and enough is enough. I'm not rushing it so much now though, partly because other things were falling by the wayside. I don't much feel like socialising at the moment, just want to get my head sorted first. I'm out today at a party, this afternoon. I really don't fancy it. However, I will have to go now I've agreed. Xx

greenberet · 28/02/2015 10:05

hi all - havent read but just posting - having a strange week - fear my depression may be returning - dont feel like i know who I am anymore - been crying a lot feeling pretty meh! getting conflicting info - told to communicate re kids on emergencies only then feel need to update STBXH on parents evening otherwise he may use this against me. life is sort of going on as normal but nothing is normal -or should i say other peoples lives are going as as normal - had a night out last night but felt so out of it - everything is up in air for me anyway - i expect STBXH knows what hes doing just not communicating - holidays were a big part of our life - cant even go there yet & people are asking me what im doing! think i need some different company - people that dont know the old me just the current! in two minds about whether to postpone my course for a bit - just feel i maybe need to go back to one day at a time - trying to juggle too many balls and im failing

OP posts:
bobs123 · 28/02/2015 11:22

Hi everyone - good to hear from you Deck getting difficult to keep up with everyone - I have a little "synopsis" on some of you on my desktop...you know - stalker-ish like - As my memory is crap!

Izzie yes I relate to what you're going through - painting madly one minute, music of choice (mine was Bon Jovi) blaring loudly. Then comes the lethargy - buying boxsets on Ebay and slobbed in front of the TV.

green - yes the crying - more or less permanently some days. I went through that before Christmas. Going anywhere anyone medical made it worse - burst into tears at the dentist (turns out his mum had done the same thing years before). Driving in the car and finding it an accomplishment just to get from A to B. Anxiety attacks (more recent - 2 to date).

Re the DC and school - you should be able to get the school to communicate separately with him so you can't be accused of him not getting any info. At DD's school some parents had different appointment times at parents evening. I actually had stbx taken off any communication as he never showed much interest anyway and I'm paying the fees.

I think we all need some of what Hobbit's on - think you should share - they sound amazing - just so long as you don't fall off your podium.

In general, I think as time goes on things like your attachment to your house matters less and less. And don't forget, re filing, mediation et al it all takes time. It's best, as soon as you are mentally able, to get the ball rolling!

Re my week - not too bad as I worked for 2 days. DD2 had first session at mental health (CBT). DD2 depressed atm, coming home next week. Mediation session cancelled due to mediator being poorly, should have been rescheduled for next week but don't have a date as stbx obviously hasn't got back to mediator's assistant Angry. Just the permanent knot in the stomach to contend with atm.

If it's any help, both DDs, despite their problems, are still doing well education-wise. DD1 is on track for her degree and DD2 has accepted an unconditional offer for uni, so the pressure's off a bit.

Re the nisi coming through - this helped in my case showing I was separated and gave access to lots of finance stuff - tax credits, DD1's ability to get a student grant etc.

greenberet · 28/02/2015 18:05

I cant take anymore of this - why is everything a problem kids are with STBXH this weekend - they have a school trip next week & he is supposed to be sorting out clothes - he offered to take them shopping - sorted out DS but not DD its almost like hes deliberately trying to cause a problem between her & me - I cant do anything when shes there - she is phoning me as hes not doing it - I have just had to speak to him to tell him I am fed up of having to pick up his slack - why doesn't he just bugger off completely - we are fine when he is not involved - I feel like I am still having to parent him as I did when he was here. I realise now how much I took on to avoid having to deal with his moods, his inability to deal with stuff just to try & keep everything smooth sailing.

OP posts:
greenberet · 28/02/2015 19:08

just a quick question - have any of you had it mentioned that kids could live separately ie one each with a parent- my overriding gut instinct on this is never but it has been mentioned to me a couple of times - just wanted any views

OP posts:
WellWhoKnew · 28/02/2015 20:46

Who is mentioning it Green? - I've known families where that has happened with the kids coming to the opposite house at each weekend. However, this is a mutual decision and one led by the child, but generally speaking, it's not a great idea! Remember the welfare of the children come first, second and third in divorce, so if it's "his" idea, and you're usually the primary carer, then I don't rate his chances.

As for your 'mood' - it's always going to be a rollercoaster, but over time the dips become less scary and less intense. So re-start 'just one day at a time' for now without thinking too far ahead, but don't think of it as 'going back to', because you're not: you're "just" managing a difficult spell.

Likewise Izzie - don't think of the house as a whole, "just" focus on one room and one task. Even if all you achieve in a week is one wall (or similar) then it's fine. I was worried about you burning yourself out with your manic decorating, so don't get despondent for taking some rest!

I'm back from my 'tour' - it was so fab to be away, it makes such a difference to my mental health not being here. Get cats back tomorrow, and then I'm 17 days away from it all being over, bar the shouting. I'm going to have a couple of days away next week too, just to get away from it as no doubt it's going to ramp up before the final 'final hearing'. I've had more than enough now. At court last week for a MNetter's interim hearing, and we watched a poor wife being practically carried out of court, before going in ourselves to the same judge. Sobering stuff. I hope that's not me in a couple of weeks - I've done enough crying in the last ten months. They say it takes 18 months, so I'm over the half way point, once I know what the future 'looks' like, I think my sense of well being will accelerate. But I'm getting scared now.

Hobbitwife001 · 28/02/2015 21:03

Who wouldn't be scared honey? Everyone is rooting for you, but in the end the outcome is still uncertain, unknowable until the very last moment.

You have coped tremendously well and given a lot of people excellent advice and support throughout your struggle with your own " expert in communications".

A new life beckons, with a new career, and a best seller in the pipeline, I KNOW it will be a good outcome, i feel it in my water, !

Not much longer to KOKO for now WWK

Izzie595 · 28/02/2015 21:44

Hi all

WWK it sounds like the break has been good for you! and I don't blame you for taking a few more days next week. Of course you are scared, this is nearly it. Remember, you have a fantastic legal team on your side. And of course we are all fingers crossed for you.

Green they really are bloody useless, aren't they? The good thing is that soon you won't have to "rely" on him, so this will decrease the stress levels! at least you know where you are then. WWK is right, just take one day at a time, but you HAVE made a lot of progress overall. It's just sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

I went to the party, that was fine. Then I went to the pub with a couple of people and we ate there. It was nice knowing that I could do exactly as I liked, without having to think about the logistics of eating with him later. The kids and I sort of make our own arrangements, so time was my own.

bobs I can relate to your thoughts about doing a synopsis of some of the posters.....except I haven't been organised to do it!

Well I'm so sorry about you having to break the news to DD that you will probably have to move. Yet again, they cause the shit, but we have to deal with the consequences.. As well as having to give the bad news. From what I've been told by others, they will cope with a move, and if you can make their "space" theirs ASAP, they will feel a lot better.

bobs123 · 28/02/2015 22:15

WWK you mentioned McKenzie friends - I thought you were using a barrister?

And court last week - "we watched a poor wife being practically carried out of court". Was this because what was discussed wasn't as she expected, or the stress of being in court?

17 days and counting...Flowers

bobs123 · 28/02/2015 22:19

green I believe that from 11-12 a child's wishes can be taken into account on where they live. A friend of mine has 2 DC and her DS lived with his dad for a couple of years from about 16.

As has been said, it's what is best for the child, and each can be treated differently

WellWhoKnew · 28/02/2015 23:24

Bobs I have a legal 'team', and team WWK. In recent weeks, I've been McKenzie friending for women who are similar situations...

A FH means you just gotta get on with shit...

I have no idea what the 'individual circumstances' of 'fainting woman's' case were. I just watched her being carried out of the court room....

But we fight like fucking fury for dignity in the interim...

greenberet · 01/03/2015 08:11

morning ladies - thanks again for support - well never heard of Mckenzie friending but get the jist of what you are doing - I am amazed! your ability to help others whilst going through this yourself is admirable. its the shl that has mentioned it a couple of times - i think her thought process is based on the "not much in the pot". The poor women - when are they going to wake up to the psychological impact of all this- perhaps a few more men need to be "carried out of court" but in handcuffs!

this is my new "diary" - something that I did daily right back at the very beginning when my thoughts were all over the show. DH used to often throw at me "you see things that aren't there" - looks like I have been doing it again. I have failed again on the "no contact" but when my DD is phoning me with despair in her voice because she hasn't got her clothes sorted for her trip what am I supposed to do. A bit of background here - my DD is tiny - she struggles to find clothes that fit her she struggles with her identity due to her size - hates being called "cute" thinks she looks 7. clothes are important to her she doesnt like looking the same as everyone else. So I know all this - so does DH - DH offered to take them shopping rather than do online. She doesn't get anything - she needs me with her not him - I can hear all this in her voice. She wont want to go on the trip if doesn't feel right - I can only do what I can because I am here and she is there. She says it is not enjoyable being there any more. So I speak to him - but I have to call him back on the phone I am already speaking to him on, he says practically nothing, I have to ask him if he is still there, when I ask him if he has anything to say he says "Ill speak to her". This morning I wake up thinking he was recording the conversation - so whilst I am going out of my mind worrying about the impact everything we are going through with more yet still to come is having on the kids and trying my best to "parent for life" ( i questioned this stupid phrase when I heard it) all he is concerned about is how he can use things against me. So have I "seen" this correctly!

I also "saw" things at Parents evening - I noticed how many kids had both parents there - I noticed how most kids looked fairly happy & relaxed. I noticed how "stiff" my two look, I heard how often teachers were saying they both were extremely quiet and how they have both looked unhappy at times. They still haven't told anyone - my shl seems to think maybe they are in denial. I am reading on here how many kids are struggling to deal with what they are going through - I am struggling to deal with what I am going through - I am questioning who the bloody hell I am currently - I have no idea what is in their heads but my DF said they look "adrift". No doubt they are asking themselves exactly the same questions as me except they have all the teenage stuff to deal with too and I am make full use of whatever help is available.

This judge that has decided women should be back out at work - how many women would have chosen to stay at home & put their kids first and support their DHs for 20 years had they known that they would be put on the scrapheap. I didn't want my kids being in daycare form 8 -6, being in holiday camps except for two weeks family holiday a year, being shunted around to whoever is available to look after them because I am persuing my career so that in 20 years time when my DH decides to clear off with OW I will be able to support myself! And more to the point neither did DH - it was a joint decision. I had several discussions with DH about going back to work but it was considered "not worth it" because the business was doing well enough for me not to have too and I was doing all the house stuff so whatever time wasn't taken up by the business was family time. Even now as teens the work doesnt stop - there are still the same jobs to do round the house- infact I am playing catch up for all the years that jobs weren't done because family came first. I am not superwoman - I can't do it all even though now it bloody feels like I am having to do it all. Even when kids are not here I still have the emotional attachment - I am still doing their washing, I am still thinking about what needs to be done next week for kids. Is DH doing this on his weekends off with OW - bloody hell is he!

Bobs, Izzie, hobbit - thanks for continual support - thinking of you and drifting hope you are ok.

OP posts:
Hobbitwife001 · 01/03/2015 09:09

Very insightful post Green, you made some good points about how the divorce process affects the children involved.

As you can see from my situation, it also affects older young adults as well.
My youngest son is struggling, atm, FF on the other hand is trying to distance himself from having any responsibility for his issues, saying they are not related, as he had the eating disorder before the break-up. He is deluded of course, it has just ramped up his anxiety, which in turn has made it difficult to suppress the complex problems of social difficulties and controlling the need to binge eat and then starve.

Please look after yourself, you sound very sad at the moment, it's only to be expected of course, these peaks and troughs we all go through, but it is so shit isn't it? X

bobs123 · 01/03/2015 11:34

Just seen this weird other thread. some of you might like to send an anonymous invite to the following...

www.swlondoner.co.uk/got-tiny-todger-london-poet-host-worlds-first-party-men-small-penises/

Confused Grin

bobs123 · 01/03/2015 11:34

sorry - send the invite to your stbxs

whyMe2014 · 01/03/2015 14:16

oh hobbit i hope you know I was calling him a C U N Tuesday not you sweetheart.

WWK it must be scary with the imminent court day but just know that we are all behind you.

Green... this man is a complete twat. He is just trying to get at you. He knows what winds you up and he keeps doing it despite the poor children in the middle.

I would try to keep the children together not split them up. Unless they ask to live with him then depending on their ages unfortunately it appears they have a choice.

I agree with the points you made about women going back to work etc. My career was put on hold and I looked after the children, had a part time job and supported him. Now where am I? He's pissed off, pushed me on to benefits, children on free school dinners, borrowing a car from a relative, huge solicitors bills and he's living in the lap of luxury, no responsibilities, sex on tap, two cars and a wedding to plan! I've also got the prospect of having to move and find a local job (hmmm hens teeth!) There is no justice for us mums. Instead we get stigmatized. The media should look at the reasons why we're in this position not bash us while we struggle.

Hugs to you all and KOKO xx

Izzie595 · 01/03/2015 15:55

Green I totally agree with your point about giving up paid work to look after the children. That's what was deemed the right thing to do, certainly when I was a child in the 60s. Clearly taking a career break impacts upon what you can do in the future. If I had worked when my sons were young, life would have been impossible, with him working till all hours. I gave up working for 10 years. So I have lost 10 years of a decent pension. The job I do now is not well paid, but it fitted in with the kids. The youngest was in yr 2 when I went back to work. So now I have a poorly paid job, with a poorly paid pension to come. And where would he be career wise if he had to be a single father??

I mean this in the most positive way possible, Green, but is there any way you could NOT rely on him to do things, in other words don't even ask him, but just try to do yourself? That may not be possible, I appreciate. But if you can, it would save you all the stress and aggravation caused by being constantly let down. I know it's not fair that they walk away from their responsibilities, but as one of my sons said today, clearly he's not going to help so don't even bother thinking about the fact that he should be doing some of these things. He then called him an arsehole. This is the son who still has a bit of time for him

Today I've been struggling to put more of the kitchen back together. I've been in tears, I've ben swearing, and I've had words with my youngest. Apparently at 11 DS2 texted the twunt to say something like why are you not helping mum. And apparently every time the twunt has been round and asked how DS2 is, he has said a bit of help would be appreciated! So yet again, he's badly let down this son. He badly let him down 18 months ago, and things have never recovered from that.

Conveniently, the twunt can't have noticed his text! Anyway, I have now texted him just to say that the rest of his clothes are here awaiting collection. I said nothing else.

I can't wait for karma. I doubt any of us three would help him in any circumstances now.

Well, after a lot of aggravation, we have done some very awkward things in the kitchen today. DS2 is not talking to me at the moment. However, that will pass, and as I look at what's been done today, I feel a sense of achievement, which will grow the longer the time elapses since finishing those bits.

I have been tempted to send a text telling him what I think of him, but actually I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that I was annoyed. Ok so he knows I was earlier, because DS2 referred to me having a go at them when I was trying to do certain things. Whatever. I'm not wasting my energy on him. The longer he has been absent, the lesser the average of him seeing his kids. And the more it's obvious that he will only do things to help if it benefits him. Well he can enjoy that whilst he can, because, like Hobbit, when all the finances have been sorted! I will make it very clear to him exactly what I think of him as a person! husband! father. And will make it clear that he can stuff his wish for us to be friends where the sun doesn't shine. You don't get to be friends with someone you have share on from a great height, and continue to do so.

In reality he has nothing worth having now. I just wish I knew whether he has recognised that yet.

Izzie595 · 01/03/2015 16:02

Please remember, ladies, that you should avoid as far as possible, sending them complaining texts and emails. The reason being, apart from what WWK has said, of course, is that they need the common enemy ie the ex, to justify their actions in their own minds. The common enemy binds the two of them together. We all want their current relationships to implode, so don't enable them their port in a storm, if at all possible.

Paddlingduck · 01/03/2015 16:11

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paddlingduck · 01/03/2015 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Izzie595 · 01/03/2015 16:51

Paddling I know what you mean, I feel like the keeper of his bloody investment and any time I've asked for advice I feel, in hindsight! that he forgets I'm not doing these things on a whim, ie the decorating. I'm spdoung it because it was started, it needs doing, and I'm going to finish it. Does he honestly think I would be picking up a paintbrush out of bloody choice??

As for their exciting lives, don't believe a word of it. It will soon fizzle out into boring everyday stuff, if not already. Except that the boring everyday stuff now means that they are with just one person, maybe someone else's kids.....but not their own. And let's face it, as much as we all would like a break from the kids, especially if they are younger, your life would be pretty meaningless without them.

As for not mattering anymore.....what does their opinion count, as DS1 would say. I should put him on here to deliver no nonsense advice about how to detach from the cheating twunts.

You matter to everybody else you know. They are worth a millions times more than the cheating twunt who took the easy way out and wasn't man enough to sort out his issues......which are still there, of course.

You are doing well Paddling. You felt good yesterday. Even if it was only one day, the point is, you felt good!! And you will have other days like that, more and more often. Write today off as a "process" day, and think that's another load of tears out of the way. There are only so many you will shed. So, get stuff ready for tomorrow, put your feet up, treat yourself to something nice like a drink, long soak in bath, whatever, have an early night. Tomorrow is another day. Xx

Izzie595 · 01/03/2015 17:02

May I just say to my cheating twunt......

I seem to be making quite a good job of all the stuff you walked away from. Thank you soooo much for leaving me with all that stuff to do. It proves that I can do a lot more than I give myself credit for.....and that you really are surplus to requirements. So you can stay away. FUCK OFF

Here's a song for Sunday. This always makes me feel good. I think I've said everything to you in the four months since you buggered off. But I think these words are somehow poetic. And it's a good catchy tune. To dance on the grave of our marriage

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WZNyxo1fgQ

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