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Original poster

HOBBITS BAR - still finding it hard to move on ......(part 3)

999 replies

greenberet · 15/02/2015 12:08

here we go ladies & drifting dogs welcome too of the harvey kind!

grab your drinks - Brew, Wine and izzietinis dependant on time of day & how we are feeling

Original thread

Part two

anyone welcome, new, old, lurkers we share with you all.
no requirements re posting as & when, one offs, rants, extreme rants, blubbing we dont mind, we've done it all .

we like songs, we like pics, we like humour, we like the words "twunts" and "fuckwittery" & we send each other Flowers often!

Our motto KOKO and our theme tune

join us Smile

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
bobs123 · 24/02/2015 17:07

Ooh Izzie there's a thread on AIBU asking what your favourite song lyric is - thought of you Grin

bobs123 · 24/02/2015 17:23

In the news re divorced wives and spousal maintenance...

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11429864/Divorced-wife-told-to-get-a-job-and-stop-living-off-her-ex.html

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 17:50

Spousal maintenance article. It says in The Telegraph that he is conv
Corned about having to pay spousal maintenance when he retires. Surely she had already negotiated a share or whatever in his pension on divorce?

Oh won't men up and down the country be getting all excited about this. Erm yes, it says VERY HIGH EARNERS.......

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 17:51

Typo. Should have been "concerned"

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 18:23

Fuck features just emailed me a link. DS1 doing a sponsorship thing. So, FF has donated a very generous sum. And just put it as being from him. Fucking cheek, as no doubt it will come out of the joint account.I've emailed back in all innocence asking how much he has donated, and will take it from there.

I'm just in the mood for this.......let's see how diplomatically I can put this

Fuming!

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 18:49

Well I've now done a donation also not showing the amount, so he doesn't look so fucking generous now. Wanker!

Original poster
greenberet · 24/02/2015 19:40

hello izzie where've you been

OP posts:
Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 20:46

Hi Green just been doing things really and not much to say. Tonight I'm fuming. 1. Donation 2. Fucking online supermarket shop didn't turn up, looks like the order didn't take 3. Spent an hour sorting out not so D...S2's mobile contract. That's been my evening since I got in.

I've had some reply from fuck features. Am waiting for his reply as to whether his donation is to come from joint funds. I'm fucking livid. Good old fuck features. Don't think so!

I don't suppose I will get a reply. Not if he works out what I'm getting at. On the other hand, he's that stupid......

I'm just overall sick of that unstable bitch. I feel in the end I will have nothing to do with him because of his association with her. I don't want her in my head, my life, at all. So he can fuck off out of it too. I blame him for bringing all this on me. I think most of the time, due to his association with her, I have a low level or variable level of contempt. Anyone who is taken in by that clearly is beneath my contempt. Or rather would be if I didn't feel such contempt

Rant over. For now.

Yesterday I had a lovely evening watching broadchurch and chilling....

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 20:59

I've also had contact with FIL. Offering me a piece of furniture I liked which their buyer no longer wants. I'm in two minds really. I like it, but on the other hand, taking it will be a reminder if the past. His family have no doubt swallowed the sanitised version of events, and I'm not going along with that crap about our both making efforts to save the marriage. Also, as FIL will no doubt be slipping fuck features money away from the joint account, I don't see why I should have anything to do with him. Also, he was going to bring it round. I don't see it's any of his business what I've done with the decorating etc. or to see my new car. Fuck features has had no contact with my family, who have been very good to him in the past, especially after his antics last year. He didn't even send a Xmas card. Two nieces of primary school age......so quite why I have to play charades with his family.....well, I'm not going to. Yes, mind made up, I'm not taking the furniture. I don't want anything to do with anyone who has an association with that bitch and who falls for her shit. I suppose they have now forgotten that she made a malicious allegation about me to SS. Oh yes, they no doubt think I have enemies elsewhere. Fuck them. I've had it with the lot of them.

Original poster
greenberet · 24/02/2015 21:38

hi izzie at least you had a good day yesterday - im in a downward spiral again - when will this bloody end -

OP posts:
Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 21:45

Hi Grren yes I thought you were. Are you able to have less contact with him now? I have to say that the less I hear from FF the better generally. My snarling contempt of him is bubbling under a lot and it doesn't take much to set me off. Life is considerably better when he's out of my head. In fact, when he's out of my head, life couldn't get much better. I'm a nicer person too. He just brings out the worst in me. I could have dealt with the stuff tonight if it wasn't for the bloody donation thing, which of course was his doing.

iwashappy · 24/02/2015 22:03

Izzie sorry he has hacked you off again today. As Green says at least you had a good day yesterday. Please feel free to rant away. You don't realise until it happens how much splitting up affects so many other things. Wider family, friends etc. My husband's behaviour has burnt his bridges with my sister, they used to get on really well before but not now.

Green sorry you are struggling again today. Did you go to Yoga? I had thought about going to something like that but I thought I might find it quite difficult. Is it very relaxing?

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 22:27

Thanks iwas. I was going to suggest to you that you step back a bit from Sid for the same reason as me, ie that when they do hack you off, it's bigtime, because all those other issues come to the forefront of your mind again. Just a thought. I know what you've said before about contact with Sid though, and I can understand that.

Well I've had no reply from FF. He's deliberately ignoring now. That's fine. He won't be getting the stuff he wants from me then, will he? Two can play at that game.

Yesterday I asked if he could be available if DS2 got declined for a phone contract in his own name. I didn't want to apply if that was the case, as I got declined for a credit card on my salary alone but looking at the joint mortgage repayments, which are more than my salary. So his reply was did I want him to come round, and if so, fine. I can't see why he thought I needed him to come round just to do an online application. I'm wondering if he was looking for a reason to come round to engage with DS2. I do wonder if he misses family life. I had made it clear to him earlier that each of us had individually told him that the loony would always be persona non grata. I'm wondering if he really has taken the implications on board, or whether he thinks time will resolve. He must know his kids well enough to know that once they've made their minds up......how must it feel to know that your own kids will never visit you in "your" house, and that you will never receive a card in the post from them. That's how much she is frozen out.

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 22:44

Got a reply re donation. Yes it's coming from the joint account and is it a problem. I replied saying just wondered, and clearly I had done a donation too in the circumstances.

I'm his wife when it suits. For example, he didn't crack on to the garage that we were separated.....it's all about public image.

iwashappy · 24/02/2015 22:45

It's difficult to get the balance right Izzie. I find contact easier than non contact most of the time but certainly not always. I found when I have had short spells of no contact that I tend to look back at how things were and think of the old him which I don't think helps. I would also rather go and speak to him about something and decide when I have that conversation than email or text him and be waiting on him getting back to me.

When he didn't bother texting me back a while ago because he had "plans" with her I was raging and I don't want to put myself in the situation again where I am waiting and wondering why he isn't bothering replying.

I think you may well be right that your ex may have been looking for an excuse to see your son. You can't have been a family for that length of time and not miss it. I think they do believe that everything will be resolved in time with regards to the children, or at least I think my ex-DH does. OW is not part of my family and never will be.

iwashappy · 24/02/2015 22:52

At least he's bothered to reply I suppose. Are you okay with that now or not? Does batty drawers know he spends time emailing you presumably when she is there. Probably feels a bit sweet I would think. Your ex differs from mine in that respect, mine doesn't give a shit about image just as well really

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 22:57

iwas someone said to me that her never being accepted will put a tremendous strain on things between them. Both you and I can bask in the knowledge of that. FF will certainly not like being the subject of gossip and speculation as our family grows in the future. It will be pretty humiliating. Or he can choose to distance himself from his sons of course.....

As we have said at my house, she will be paying for the rest of her life for her vile actions.

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 23:02

I think he replied, maybe to see what I was getting at Tonight I totally forgot about him emailing when she is with him, I must admit. No I'm not happy with his reply at all. Making out he was so generous but actually having no intention of paying himself in due course, when finances are sorted. That's how I read it. I will refrain from making too obvious a point. Not giving her any help by being the common enemy here

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 23:04

Batty Drawers will know nothing. She can on,y surmise. He's always been not forthcoming. And over recent years it's more playing his cards close to his chest. I do actually suspect that she doesn't even know he did the car business with me.

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 23:06

In a way that suits me, that she knows nothing. It just widens her net of suspicion. You know the old saying about when a man marries his mistress....even though they are not married

iwashappy · 24/02/2015 23:12

It would be such a shame if their relationship was strained wouldn't it!! All about image again with him then isn't it. Seen to be being generous.

If he feels he can't tell her about the car business then that says a lot about their relationship and none of it good. Yes I know that saying well Izzie and I look forward to the vacancy being filled!

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 23:16

Ooh Izzie there's a thread on AIBU asking what your favourite song lyric is - thought of you

Haha bobs can't think why Grin

Will take a look tomorrow. Sounds like a good thread anyway

I'm off to bed iwas in cas I get a reply from FF and I wind myself up and then can't sleep. You take care. Xx

whyMe2014 · 24/02/2015 23:17

Hi guys...big hugs to you all...hobbit as you said divorce is the gift that keeps on giving...they gave me something else today.

Details about their sex life in a jacuzzi in a country club...posted for all to see on Facebook including my daughter. How disgusting. This woman is a complete slapper. She goes on to talk about a man in budgie smugglers falling into her ...yuk.

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 23:18

There's a lot about his relationship that shows a lack of trust. I will post that tomorrow, for the same reason....

Yes, that vacancy being filled. In my case, whoever fills it, I will love her!

Izzie595 · 24/02/2015 23:20

Oh why I hope you have taken a copy of that lot. Could be very useful.....

So sorry neither of them have any dignity.

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