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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Don't know how much longer I can carry on like this.

441 replies

messyoldmess · 20/10/2006 22:10

I made the tough decision to end my marriage around 5 months ago.
My H had temper & control issues & I tried everything I could to make things better, but nothing worked & I finally accepted that we needed to go our seperate ways.
H seemed to go along with it all at the time & told me he was moving in with a friend in a couple of weeks. It never happened, as H came up with lots of silly excuses as to why it was not sensible. He said he would not leave until our house sold.
We are now nearly 5 months down the line & I feel we are in limbo land. Nothing seems to have moved on & he is still getting to me.
Our house has not sold & I am starting to go out of my mind.
I have had a few people suggest I look into renting somewhere, but I don't know if that would affect my position re the house & divorce etc.
I can't carry on like this for much longer.

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messyoldmess · 01/11/2006 23:17

& I am not staying very sane!

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messyoldmess · 01/11/2006 23:19

Night, GF.
I should really go to bed myself, but I can't yet.

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glittersparklerfairy · 01/11/2006 23:19

Honestly messy I really do know where you are at the moment and it is a hellish place. You know what I have gone through and I think I am happier now in many ways than I have ever been and so are my darling kids. It has been worth it and it will be for you too.

glittersparklerfairy · 01/11/2006 23:19

Night Messy and loads of hugs!

messyoldmess · 01/11/2006 23:23

Night, glitter, & thanks.x

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BURNINGTHECANDLE · 02/11/2006 00:12

I feel like I'm intruding but I've just joined mumsnet and logged onto this conversation with intereast, partly to know I'm not alone so thank you for that but in reading some of whats going on for you I just wanted to say how sorry I am be strong it will get a bit easier

Freckle · 02/11/2006 06:56

So have you written down the 12 (++++!) things and given them to your solicitor? If not, why not?

It is within your power to start to effect change. So do it!

messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 16:13

I have bits written down, but I am not sure which 12 things to put on the list. How unreasonable do these things need to be?
Also - do they need to be fairly recent incidents?
I have a list from my HV, which covers most of last years happenings.

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messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 16:19

Once I have this list, I need to make an appointment with him & he will then start the divorce process.
I am very frightened - especially of him receiving the letter, because I am scared of how he will react when he realises what I want to divorce him for.
I so wish I wasn't living under the same roof as him.

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Freckle · 02/11/2006 18:13

You've been telling him for ages that your relationship is over. Why on earth should he be surprised that you want a divorce? Surely he wants that too, so that you can both move on.

Write down everything you can think of. Your solicitor will pick out the "best" incidents and use them.

Go ahead and do it. Nothing is going to change until you really want it to. All the while you do nothing, H will think that you don't really want to separate. So show him that you do.

messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 18:16

I am not coping too well atm. I seem to have less patience with the boys & I am ashamed to say that I have shouted at them more than usual recently.
I want to be a good mum, but I can't cope with the constant squabbles & battles & my fuse is a lot shorter than normal.
H has picked up on this & when he warned me that I could get murdered when I go to London, he said "Oh well, not my worry - I will get this house paid off if you die, because we are not yet divorced & the boys won't have you shouting at them."
I feel so bad. I don't want to be a horrible mum & they are not scared of me, but I am so stressed out right now, that I am not coping as well as I should.
They play me up far more than they do H, & I am scared of how I will cope on my own.
I just feel a complete mess atm, but I know I need this horrible nightmare over with, & after last night, I just feel so desperate to be away from him.

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messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 18:18

I will get it all down & take my HV's list of incidents too.
I just need this over now.

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messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 18:21

I worry that H will refuse to sign anything because he won't admit to being unreasonable in any way.

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messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 18:34

He knows we are planning a divorce & he wants the same, but it is how he will react to the "unreasonable behaviour" bit that's worrying me.

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tribpot · 02/11/2006 18:54

Laughing (sympathetically) at how your H might react to the 'unreasonable behaviour' charge. One might suspect he will be behave unreasonably, shall we say!

I would say don't try and limit yourself to 12 incidents, when there must be closer to 1200. Just look at this red wine carry on again.

Having said that, is it necessary to go for the unreasonable behaviour, you could wait long and divorce on grounds of separation (mind you, not if it meant him living in the house for the next 5 years).

messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 19:00

Unreasonable behaviour can be done & dusted in 6 months (providing H doesn't start getting difficult & refusing to sign things), whereas a bog standard divorce takes 2 years.
I am scared out of my mind, but I think given our circumstances, it would probably be best to get it done quickly.

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tribpot · 02/11/2006 19:47

I completely understand. And if any man alive could be accused of unreasonable behaviour, it's your H. BUT given he is unreasonable and he refuses to move out, is it your wisest course of action? Wouldn't it be easier (if horrifically time-prolonging) to go for a no-fault divorce? I assume you've talked this over with your solicitor, but I also quite understand your concern about directly accusing H of unreasonable behaviour. If he won't sign, I assume you are back to the 2-year position anyway.

messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 21:17

It is all doing my head in a bit tribpot.
I saw a girl I used to go to the gym with the other day. She left her complete bastard of a H around 18 months back, but she is still not divorced because he is refusing to sign any papers indicating that he behaved unreasonably.
I suspect H will be the same.

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messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 21:26

I will go along with my list & talk it through with my solicitor.
Will make the appt for (hopefully) next week.

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messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 21:43

Will phone tomorrow

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Blu · 02/11/2006 21:55

MoM, this sounds particularly horrible.
But you know what he's doing, and he is pretty good at it by now.

Why on earth should you get murdered in London - for starters? And what a horrible thing for him to say. he's being horrible in all the ways he does when he is at his maddest.
It isn't your fault, and take no notice, as far as possible.

Yes, writing down loads of things is a good idea, your solicitor will pick the bets.

And does h really have to 'agree' to unreasonable behaviour? that would be madness - how is anyone unreasonable ever going to be reasonable and admit it? I really think you should get your HV to write a letter verifying everything she knows and has heard and observed.

I think it is natural that there are times when you are more short with the boys - but dn't blame yourself for all of that. It is outrageous of h to accuse you of shouting at them, given his history! And don't you think that his current behaviour is unsettling them? An abominable to--do about DS2' shoes? The quicker you get this over and done with, and you and the boys to peace and quiet, the better,

RE him moving out - I think people said before that if he doesn't pay the mortgage the Building Society will simply claim the amount out of the equity of the house?

He's behaving like this because he knows he is fighting a losing battle, and he doesn't like it.

Keep going, you ARE winning, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 22:12

I guess you are right, Blu. He is losing & he no longer has any control, so he is being as nasty as possible.
This morning I didn't shout, I tried to be positive, & DS1 still pushed & pushed because he didn't want to get dressed.
He did it in the end, but by this time I had taken myself away & was in floods of tears thinking I was a total failure.
I couldn't pull myself out of it & thought I wouldn't manage work today, but once there, I coped ok.
I can't go on like this much longer though - I feel I am slowly losing the plot right now.

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messyoldmess · 02/11/2006 22:16

Then this morning H asked me why I don't go to the doctors & get signed off!
If it wasn't for HIM upsetting me I wouldn't have been in that state!

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tribpot · 03/11/2006 08:56

If he is making you unwell, surely this could be grounds for getting him out of the house? I feel so sorry for you, MOM, this is a horrible, horrible situation. Is your hv up-to-date with what's happening?

Freckle · 03/11/2006 09:05

If he doesn't agree to the unreasonable behaviour, he has to submit a form to the court to state this. This would then become a defended divorce petition. Chances are that he won't go down that route for very long because, at the end of the day, battling it out in court is very good evidence that the marriage has broken down irretrievably and the court may well grant the divorce in any case. All that will be different is the amount of money it is likely to cost. Perhaps if he indicates that he's going to defend it you should point out the financial cost and he will probably change his mind.