Still finding it hard to move on......

[Hobbitwife001]

Hello everyone, this is a continuation of my previous thread, so a big welcome to everyone who participated on that one, and hello to anyone new who would like to join in this one.

A little recap of my story, my husband of 27 years left four months ago for another woman that I considered a friend. We live in a small village, and he has moved in with her and her son around the corner from the family home.

I have two sons at home with me, they are 23 and 19, the youngest has Asperger's syndrome and dyspraxia.

I am having counselling to help me get over the massive shock of his betrayal, for months I couldn't sleep or eat very much and started to suffer panic attacks and anxiety.

At the moment I am at the nisi stage of our divorce, I have petitioned for unreasonable behaviour. I am now trying to get the best settlement I can before I apply for the absolute. Needless to say, he is trying not to provide any provision for my youngest son, and has put forward a 50/50 proposal for division of the assets.

So, let's carry on ladies shall we?

Gallivanting was great WWK, went to bestie sol friends for meal and drinks. Watched Gone Girl, think I might take a leaf out of her book, frame ex for murdering my self esteem!
Loved your challenges for this week , will try my very hardest'MUM'
KOKO, xx

Gone Girl I remember reading that when I was having a really shit time with ex and I remember thinking up my dastardly plans.

Swearing, have I not sworn much on this thread? I make up for it in RL.....

I watched "Gone Girl" a few days after my FDA - I only heard about it because SHB and SHL were both going to see it that week, and were discussing it during one of the 'lulls' in proceedings... It was a very surreal moment in my life. I sort of liked the film and I sort of didn't - I was still struggling with the concept of divorce back then, wish I'd taken notes now....

So, my positive thing this week is starting the Insanity programme again. Having given up my obsession regular gym going due to being a single mummy, I need to get my fitness back. So that's the plan. Then I am going to rejoin the gym when I have done a month of Insanity and have my body back again. It's not fat, just lost tone...and I feel out of shape and bloaty. Too much not eating properly and far too much wine (despite an almost dry January!).

Then I am going to hire a hitman joking but wish I wasn't :-)

My positive thing is to get earlier nights, as I promised myself. And provided I do that, I will allow myself to do some housework. I realise how bloody knackered I am generally. I was thinking back to how I was when he first left. I kept going and going and going with things. Very late nights. No wonder I don't have a problem sleeping, it's taken its toll on my energy levels.

I think I've passed the meh task already. I seem to be meh about most things nowadays.

Right ladies, I'm off to bed now. Give my body what it needs.

Catch up tomorrow, love to all

Late to be posting this...somebody I know in RL, a male, has posted here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2303136-Confused-Hurt?

Could any of you lovelies go over and offer some comfort, not now especially, just when you have a few mins to spare. He is in such considerable pain which is pretty clear. I told him to post on MN as I know that there will be a lot of help and advice available and hope that he gets it and it is a brave thing for him to do. I always worry about lone men posting here. Maybe Drifting could help with this one...being a fella .

Well, good morning, I am now officially a slattern, bedroom a complete tip, ironing pile reaching slag heap proportions, shoes, clothes everywhere, not even bedding on the bed as I washed it yesterday because it smelt of dog(actual dog, not a euphemism for me) and couldn't be arsed to put it back on, so slept in sons bed( he is away, I'm not that weird).
Don't know if I canbe bothered today as I am working, so might leave it till tomorrow when I have a day off.

How are you Green ? Feeling better? I hope so, xx

Kitchen a bomb site. Nerves jangling. Also in "can't be bothered" mode. Are we all going to be a bit crap this week?

I hope Green you're on the mend this week.

NO!!! we are all going to be great this week!

Its a gorgeous day - have just been for a walk round the field with the dog.
what type of dog to you have drifting practicing chat up line mine's a mad black spaniel - do you think they would get on - perhaps we could walk them sometime? flirt :-)

After waking up at 4.30 with whirring brain i have decided that dealing with twunts fuckwittery is akin to the toddler years. Just because you don't get your own way and don't want to do what is being asked of you it doesn't mean you can throw a tantrum. If you want to play with the big boys then you have to play by the big boy rules and not get spiteful when you don't like those rules! Thats why they have big boy games for big boys to play!
Sums it up i think!

so MrsC thanks for your post think that can apply to me! sorry you are having such a rough time - I am not self -repping but due to the number of times i have to repeat myself there have been a lot of emails = harrasment - think I may have used that naughty word in an email too - thought it was ok though sure they use it on Jeremy Kyle all time! and ive never actually used that word out loud until now! but it fits the bill! as nothing else expresses the disgust I have for him quite like it and internet stalkery errh i thought if its public is it not for everyone to see! thought that was the whole point of having 4 billion sad F**ks following you!

hobbit glad you have had a good weekend -
and well like your thinking- yes we need a new computer skill for this week - im still doing the spreadshitty malarky but maybe need something a bit more advanced. saw that Gone Girl too - bit too close to home i thought!

navel gazing - yes doing a bit more of that - want to keep my head feeling "free" as had a slight relapse last night

housework - thats my "meh" monday is normally my day but done zilch today!

something positive -yes -need to work on this - leading up to christmas I was gallivanting here there and everywhere - just have to get to Friday this week first I think!

you other ladies - paddling,strong, why, tabby hope you are all ok! dont forget we dont care what you post on here - we have all been there - if you need support reach out - it honestly gives you a great boost knowing that somebody else fully gets it - even without you having to explain.

KOKOx

and hobbit thought you were going to say you just got into bed without actually bothering - yep done that before - who cares!

iwas as i said to you last night in pm I take my hat off to you - how you cope with what you have to endure day in day out I have no idea - I would have been carted off by now - these are for you

quite impressed with my computer skills today - think i've used them all

required

This week I will say 'Meh' to valentines day. I've been single for a while now and I can't imagine ever wanting to compromise for anyone or share my space and anyway I don't trust my judgement of men anymore. But I won't be saying 'Meh' in a bitter way. If people want to get all mushy over valentines day and plaster it all over Facebook I refuse to get annoyed. That will be my little victory over bitterness. Oh dear I just read that back and I do sound quite bitter.

Try something new? I am trying a new craft I haven't done before, it's looking good so far. If it goes wrong I will say 'Meh' to that too.

IT skill? I would love to know how to put flowers or cake or a glass of wine on my MN posts but haven't figured out how yet. Maybe someone can explain.

here's a little story for everyone

once upon a time the evil twunt said to his fairy princess "you is separate from the kids" the fairy princess not being thick but couldn't get her pretty head around this no matter how hard she tried - "how can I be separate from my kids when they came out my tummy" she thought to herself often. Despite asking the evil twunt to explain he refused to oblige as she was no longer his fairy princess but a deranged witch.
So the fairy princess carried on as she always had done trying not to be separate from her kids. She even went to talk to a special lady about one of her kids as he would often use naughty words & be unkind to his DSis.
Today the evil twunt had to speak to the fairy princess - he wanted to know what the special lady had said about his DS. Despite being given every opportunity to go with the fairy princess to see the special lady the evil twunt would ignore and not make a decision so the fairy princess went on her own. The evil twunt pleaded to know what the special lady had said because it was in his DS best interests that he know. But the fairy princess remembered what he had told her before and said no "I is separate from my kids so it is nothing to do with you" because sometimes she liked to pretend to be a deranged witch!

Tabby

open bracket [ type "flowers"] close bracket

no speech marks though

look at the "smileys list" under the box where you add message

Tabby for a smiley face type [ grin ] but with no spaces before the brackets. If you look on the bottom let hand corner you'll see a *Smileys list" which shows you what to type for the different emoticons.

Had forgot about V.day, also wedding anniversary that day too. How romantic .

Green you are sounding so much stronger and more assertive. Good news!

Me? I'm just 'tick-tocking' away again - but so far no news from solicitors so it's silly really that I'm feeling so anxious and unsettled. I think it's just because I have so little control or influence over my life right now, that I constantly feel like a bemused bystander in my own life. I can't get to 'meh' right now but I've managed to do (most) of the washing up.

errrh Labour government dont think 4 weeks is long enough - personally think its a lifetime commitment!

Harrassment. The snotty email that came from him a few weeks ago in response to mine about him refusing to swap his car for mine......in it he said that the Batty Fatty had reminded him that I was on police record for going round her house and putting a note through her door.

Background to this......long story but yes I knocked on her door. She knew it was me. Didn't answer. So I put a note through her door saying what he had told me, which was that he was going to go to Relate and that as soon as she had recovered from her nervous breakdown, he was going to end all association with her. This was a long time ago, all of this.

So back to the present day. I spoke to someone in work who used to work for the police. She said that I would not be on police records because if so I would have received a letter from them. [ the woman at work used to send out such letters].

I actually had no contact at all with them, until Batty Fatty called them to our house on another occasion in the middle of the night, allegedly because of concern for someone's welfare. Erm yes we were all asleep and were woken up. Anyway, I digress.

The moral of the story is that just because they make a complaint, it doesn't mean the police will take them seriously. Clearly. They obviously had her down for a nutter, especially when they saw the "threatening" note from me and learned that she was shagging my husband.

well thank you - think it was realising that bugger all will happen unless im orchestrating!
think when your body is so used to being in that state it takes a while to get back to "normal" you get used to functioning on high alert and when that alertness is not required you feel exhausted

Green, I have done that in the past as well, but didn't want to say that in case you thought I was a 'dirty caahhh', tee Hee, you sound amaze balls , keep it up honey!

Yeh! A new IT skill! Ta very much Green and WWK
No Izzietini emoticon , Pah!

Evening all!

Just catching up on the thread. Will post a bit more later. Cos I'm busy. Doing some housework! Not much, mind you, just a teensy bit. I have told myself that if I get to bed by 11 tonight I can do more tomorrow. WTF!! I am losing the plot.

Hobbit me too with the clothes mountain. I found a dry clean only jacket at the bottom of it! No, I haven't worn it, I'm not that bad....

Must dash, busy bod tonight

IT skill completed. Photoshopped