Still finding it hard to move on......

[Hobbitwife001]

Hello everyone, this is a continuation of my previous thread, so a big welcome to everyone who participated on that one, and hello to anyone new who would like to join in this one.

A little recap of my story, my husband of 27 years left four months ago for another woman that I considered a friend. We live in a small village, and he has moved in with her and her son around the corner from the family home.

I have two sons at home with me, they are 23 and 19, the youngest has Asperger's syndrome and dyspraxia.

I am having counselling to help me get over the massive shock of his betrayal, for months I couldn't sleep or eat very much and started to suffer panic attacks and anxiety.

At the moment I am at the nisi stage of our divorce, I have petitioned for unreasonable behaviour. I am now trying to get the best settlement I can before I apply for the absolute. Needless to say, he is trying not to provide any provision for my youngest son, and has put forward a 50/50 proposal for division of the assets.

So, let's carry on ladies shall we?

YEY! Go Tabbie,
Very pleased to hear it went well for you, onwards and upwards, nearer to getting shut of the STBX.

A special thank you to you WWK for talking me down from a rather large panic yesterday I will message you shortly. I ate dinner for the first time in a week. Maybe I will sleep now too.

DH is being an utter B*d tonight - everytime I try & watch a film with DD on appletv it doesnt work & she has ended up in tears - this is the 3rd time it has happened - i know this is something to do with him setting it up & then just buggering off - his answer when I speak to him "i dont know" lying C88T - next time he needs something from me i can tell you want the answer will be "I DONT F*G KNOW!""

Hobbit I hope you enjoyed your session at the gym. It's nice to do something just for yourself

iwas waiting for your update. There is so much advice on your thread, so much for you to think about. I think you will, in due course, do what's right for you and your children. So much has happened to you in a very short space of time, and it would have pushed some women over the edge. You're doing well

Family hope you're a bit calmer now. It is so difficult, as you say, to detach emotionally from stuff, and it's not surprising you react sometimes. Of course, though, like me, we must remember WWK's advice and do our best to vent elsewhere than at the person who deserves it.

Green How really annoying about the DVD. Yes, they like to be the hero, but only on their terms, which invariably means there is something in it for them. I couldn't help laughing at the pants thing.

WWK you have so much to deal with, especially at the moment! but you still take time out to help and advise others. A lot on here owe you, including me.

Tabby well done

Secret Squirrel hello!

Fontella I think I will just be aspirational when it comes to flat packed stuff. You know, "I've got it now, and it will look lovely when it's done". Meanwhile it just sits there in the box....

Well, I have finally sorted my new car, phew! He came with me and was really helpful. Did most of the test drive for me, as I wanted, and did the negotiating. Now just have various paperwork to sort as regards the other car being traded in. I've asked him to drive my new car home when it's ready for collection, and he's agreed.

It's been a mixed emotions day. We were together for 4 hours, I felt a bit detached from him, my own person, but I felt a bit emotional as we were finishing the paperwork. It's another step to the end. This is not the car I would have bought if we had still been together, I wouldn't have needed the larger model. Yet I absolutely love the car, it's a dream for me.

Every time we cooperate, I have these mixed feelings. I really don't know how iwas can deal with this daily.

I think my gut tells me that the marriage is definitely over in his mind. This is despite the fact that I don't believe his relationship with OW is the real thing. It does still upset me, I will admit that. It's the flashes of the old person that does it. However, I noticed I wasn't very upset after he left tonight, so I take that as progress on my part.

Other signs of progress....I know it's way too soon, but I couldn't see myself ever wanting another man. Not because I would be in mourning forever, but just because after such a long marriage, it seemed such an effort to have a new relationship and to establish that connection. Well, the car salesman had me thinking. He was definitely someone I warmed to and felt comfortable with. We had quite a chat and banter about non car issues. And I thought that I could find someone like him a possibility. He was very different to the ex, but not so completely different that you know it's a rebound attraction. It made me think that if I wanted to have another relationship, that there really were people out there that I could connect with after 33 years with one person. It just made me feel that my heart could be receptive in the future. That, though, is a long way off. I will totally heal myself before I even think about it, although I'm more than happy without a man.

I'm glad that me and ex were on better terms again, I just don't want a load of unnecessary unpleasantness. I realise that better terms mean emotional issues for me. But I can work my way through that. The most important thing is the financial stuff. I will find that more difficult to deal with than my own feelings. I am prioritising. Mostly, though, I'm emotionally good.

I will post tomorrow, maybe about WWK's warning. I think it will serve as a warning to others. Tonight, I don't want to think about it, it's all to do with that bloody email that lost me a night' sleep.

Fuckity fuck! We lost, at the Millenium stadium, to the 'old enemy' Bah!

Fuckers.

I've had the week from hell and I had a bad feeling about this game, but the daughter's gone out on the razz, and as we were on the way out (me doing the chauffeur bit as per) I did flick over to BBC 1 and we were 10-5 up.

Cue me and the daughter dancing around the front room and doing high fives and her texting a few of her English mates with lots of 'haha we're winning' type texts.

When i came back from dropping her off, I cracked open a bottle of vino and watched the allotment challenge final thingy on BBC 2 (I'm into all that, veggie growing and suchlike being an earth mother vegetarian peace and love type woman) and then came upstairs to work. Yes I am working ... I just googled 'Wales beat England six nations' (so convinced was I) and the first headline that pops up is

England storm back to beat Wales in stirring Six Nations opener

Fuck that!

What happened?

I don't even know the score and I'm not looking.

Like I say ... I had a pre-match bad feeling hence me not watching the game as I would normally do. Then I got me hopes up with the 10-5 only to have them dashed again.

I am also well on the way to being pissed (as in too much wine without cream soda pissed).

We were winning in the first half, but they came back in the second half, scored a try straight away, and then we just went to shit really.
Might have to have an Izzietini myself to take the pain away, although that would probably add to it tbh, haven't had the best week myself, but feeling a little calmer today.
Enjoyed watching the eye candy though, hope your weekend makes up for your bad week.

Izzietini's are the semen of the devil, a match made in hell and just something - the two flavours, ingredients that should never, ever, other than in the hands of deranged going through divorces with fuckwits women, never, ever have come together in the first place.

Wine and cream soda .. it makes me gag just to think of it. Imagining pouring the drink down the throat - the acidic wine and getting the little cream soda hit at the end of it.

The Izzietini should be consigned to the cocktail bar of hell. Never to darken the no matter how desperate lips of rational women.

The thing I like most about Rugby players is their thighs. I like a thick thigh on a man, me. I've gone out with some good looking blokes in my time (even ex was a looker, the southern european arsehole) but they've all been on the splindly, slender, leg side of things.

I do like a big man thigh meself and where better to see one, or several than at Cardiff Arms Park showing me age now the Millennium Stadium.

WWK is a vegetarian too, maybe if I become a vegetarian I will be as clever and insightful as you two, or maybe not, my eldest son is and he's a right gobby one :) I loves him for it though.

Don't like gardening either, so not earth mother type, nasty prickly , stingy type work if you ask me.

I do like wine.....

Excuse typos and spelling mistakes but I am a tad pissed.

I have put a completely unnecessary apostrophe in 'Izzietini's'.

I fucking hate unnecessary apostrophes - it does my head in and here I am doing one.

Izzietinis are the semen of the devil ....

Yes, I'm with you on the meaty thigh front, my stbxh had spindly chicken legs, ( still has his legs, hasn't lost them in a cycling accident mores the pity)
In fact they are even thinner now he given himself over to cycling with bitchface all the time. I like a bit of chunk on a man, I don't like him to look thinner than me, although I am a lot thinner myself now due to divorce diet.
I like a manly man me, no metrosexual crap, although there's not a lot of them in the arse end of nowhere .

Izzie was talking earlier about maybe meeting someone else in the future, if I did and that's a very big if, I would just like him to be kind, and have big thighs....

Yes, I can imagine that's how they'd taste, i didn't even think they still made cream soda, who drinks that nowadays? Apart from Izzis obvs!

I saw more better looking men in the 'arse end of nowhere' than I've ever seen living in London and elsewhere. I've also lived in the South of France and a year in the States (where I could count on one hand the number of blokes I actually thought pwhoar).

But up there .. in the arse end of God's own country ... well let's just say .. happy memories.

You get a good looking Celt ... and he'll knock pretty much any other ethnicity into a cocked hat.

Apostrophes are tricky little fuckers aren't they?

Apart from Sam Warburton obviously , there's something very odd about his face... And that blonde fella with the mullet, what's his name?

I'm like the grammar police - you know the annoying fuckers who pick up on everything (not on MN funny enough because I know people type on phones and shit and I can't even see the keys on my phone and can just about type 'OK' to the daughter when she says 'can you pick me up from? insert location station after college, boyfriend's house when they've had a row, nightclub when she's been out with the girls, gym when she's overdone it--

But elsewhere I do get the grammar police uniform on and get on the high horse. The one that really pisses me off is 1980's. Or 1970's. Or 1990's.

There's no fucking apostrophe in it people. It's 1990s - it's just a straight plural. Even the online newspapers put an apostrophe in it - and it doesn't belong there.

The only way you could even justify putting it in would be if you were talking about, let's say fashion from the 1990s. So 1990's fashion. That would be okay.

But when you are just referring to the 1990s. That's what it is. It's not the 1990's.

Hobbit.

I'm proud Welsh as you know .. but let's be honest. We ain't got the best looking Rugby team in the world.

My daughter plans on marrying Leigh Halfpenny .. but other than that ... they don't float her boat and they don't float mine.

Now .. they might be shit. They might get the wooden spoon. They might not even register on the old woman radar (I'm similar age to you so feel entitled to say that).

But on the thigh front, on the craggy Celt front, on the tostesterone front - have a look at the Scots.

They've got some fine looking men on that team, shit or not.

Morning. There seems to be a very Welsh side tonight to the thread. I do live in the victorious land of England . Yes we won. Shall I move to the land of the losers where there seems to be many good women ( who like big thighed men ) as I shall be working on my squat thrusts ( that sounds so rude, from that BBC programme Superstars ) ... Almost seems I not the only male but now outnumbered by Welsh women , bitter at men and English men in particular ? What chance do I have ? Can we all still be friends , I promise on Saturday evening, I may purchase a bottle of cream soda from local John Lewis outlet & add to wine & celebrate our little victory in rugby , but a better result when we reach the end of the journey . Maybe I will enjoy an Izzetini !

I would like to end with a Llan....type of greeting but you ladies seem to have cornered it.

I must admit some of the English team were quite easy on the eye, but I felt traitorous for even thinking that, as the bastards beat us. I will take your recommendation and watch the scots in action, hope there's plenty of sweaty thigh action!

Wine and cream soda sounds like the perfect drink with which to celebrate England's victory tonight over Wales.

Hi drifting, where ya been? After dropping that absolute bombshell about her having second thoughts we haven't heard much. You sound good, any more incoming?
Please stay away from the cream soda, it can only end badly, take it from one who knows:(