He prefers blondes - what should I do

[mogratpineapple]

My husband intensely stares at EVERY blonde woman or teenager ALL THE TIME. I am brunette, obviously.

Even on our special anniversary weekends I cannot hold his attention if there are any around. He says that he loves me and I'm the one he married. I get that, but...I feel second best.

I have told him how I feel, like the kid who doesn't get picked for the team, but it carries on. I refer to myself as the B Team.

I have decided that I must do something else to boost my self-esteem in these situations. I think maybe I should move away from the crowds when we're in public - maybe sit in the car or go off on my own.

Am I being pathetic though? Or do I need to stand my ground?

Why SHOULD the OP dye her hair. Her H (dickhead though he is) should love her the way she is.

Not everyone suits certain hair colours. I think OP like a lot of other posters he is doing this to control you and keep you on your toes. Hence my open marriage suggestion so you could watch his reaction.

Update

DH says that he will be late home as he is going to see someone professionally. He says that he will not discuss it with me though.

Feeling hopeful.

Thanks everyone xx

NOT discuss it with you. what absolute BOLLOCKS. He wants you to think hes gone to see a "professional" when he hasnt Thats why he wont discuss it.

Hes being manipulative now.

I hope that's not true :(

BULLSHIT!

Everything he does is about putting you down, isn't it?

I cant believe you actually swallowing his bollocks!

Aint no way he can get in to see someone that quick, unless hes going to visit some blonde prostitutes to get it out of his system.

mograt there is a HUGE waiting list for counsellors and similar proffesionals at the moment.

And most GPs would be pissing themselves laughing at this reason for a referral.

Hes fucking lying. Because he wants to continue making you feel like shit. Hes an abusive arsehole.

How old is this prick.

Is this an actual joke, surely lol.

So now you have to police him better so effectively it's your job to ensure he doesn't stare, when out with him of course, when he's alone, he can carry on his perverted seedy sad little staring and make every woman who has the unfortunate task of avoiding his letch suffer him.

Seriously OP, wise up, he won't discuss it with you because he doesn't actually think he has a problem, you do, which is even more worrying!

What is there left if he won't discuss it?
Do you have anything else to discuss?

Is this a wind up?

Well I will carry on with my original plan and pretend that he hasn't been anywhere.

Watch this space mograt...

I very much doubt he could even get a gp appointment that quickly, let alone a counsellor appointment. Unless he's seeing one privately and even then it's quick. But at least you would see charges for a private professional in your bank statements.
I smell bullshit from your H.

I think he's taking the piss.

You could suggest some aversion therapy: every time you see him perving over some blonde, you get to taze him?

Two or three sessions ought to be plenty to cure the poor lamb's affliction.

I've heard of sex addiction but never treating women like personal sex toys addiction.

Mograt - you poor thing...

Your husband seems to be very aware of his behaviour and seems to be trying to manipulate you into inconveniencing yourself (holidaying in isolated places / not going out in public together) so he can continue his awful behaviour unchecked, or so that you think that checking it is too much of a hassle and let him get on with it.

It's HIS problem and HIS responsibility. Sorry hon but he sounds like a bit of a dickhead to me... x

I thought the same Agatha. 3 week wait to see a GP here.

Gone to see a professional ?

Does he mean a working girl with a blond mop plonked on her head ?

Those replies are funny but honestly if I said any of them to my partner now or ex partners they'd think I despised them.

This man deserves to be despised. He's a prick.

He's done amazingly well to get an appointment so quickly.

Bullshit, no way he'd be assessed this quickly. He's manipulating you. Trying to make you believe he's seeking help when acute ally all he's doing is buying himself time to do something else, and an excuse to carry on disrespecting you because he 'getting help'

Of course he hasn't gone to see a professional! There is nowhere in the country he could get in to see someone that quickly. Nowhere!

Op I feel so sad for you.

You've got to stop swallowing his crap so eagerly.

Could you engineer a situation in public where you can see him but he doesn't know? Like you both sit outside at a cafe then you pretend to go inside to the loo but secretly watch him for a bit?

Then you'll know if he is telling the truth about this inability to control his staring.

He stares when you are not there: he is a perv who needs therapy.

He does not stare when you are not there: he is a git doing it to keep you wrong-footed.

Say you'd like a joint session asap so the therapist can hear about it from your point of view. Surely that would be very very helpful to the therapeutic process. I am sure he will joyfully agree and call the professional immediately. Oh look! Pigs flying!!

Well to be fair to him he could be seeing a professional barman to talk things over

He's pulling the wool over your eyes OP. Of course by not wanting to talk to you about his hush hush appointment means you can't dare to ask him anything about it. And when it doesn't work it's not his fault at all at all its the "professionals" fault and sure what can he do now [bless his cotton socks]

My blood's boiling on your behalf OP.

Not only is he making you feel like shit, but making it your responsibility that he stops!

You seem almost resigned to the situation. Do you feel any anger over the situation? Tap into it and use it to decide what YOU want.