wifes male friend

[worrieddadof2]

Hello ladies/guys, I've been looking on here for a while & finally decided to join as there seems to be lots of good advice.

As title says, in the last few months my wife has spent alot of time with a male friend from work. Initially i was fine with it as i think there can be a male/female friendship. However one day things just clicked in my head and im now convinced theres an "emotional affair" happening here. We have a busy family life and work, we make time for each other but it is difficult. However in amongst this they find the time to text each other daily, pretty much from 7am until 11pm(20+ texts). They meet for coffee outside work time regularly, then a xmas he bought her a bracelet. I asked my wife outright if something was going on, to which she said absolutely not. I pointed out i think there is a strong emotional attatchment built above & beyond a "normal friendship". She again said no, but i think she is naive & cant see it. She did actually ask the guy to back off a little, which lasted a couple of days, but he was soon telling her "he missed her". My wife seems to think this is ok. This guy is also married with 2 kids, but seriously is this a normal friendship? If you were the woman would you be concerned by the intense nature this person imposes?

Thanks for reading.

She doesnt seem to get it, that the lies & secret messaging hurts every bit as much.

I think that she really needs to acknowledge this for you to be able to move past it. Why don't you tell her that. If she wants it all to be forgotten she has to go through the process.

Tell her sometimes you have to re-break a bone so that it can heal properly.

fairenuff im really not sure we can go over it again and survive, i know that sounds like burying our head in the sand, but i really think she has forgotten him. I need to deal with it in my own head. Since the hurddle at the weekend, things have improved greatly between us & i dont have the stomach to go back and spoil things.
Yes, i understand this may continue to cycle in my mind, but im going to have to deal with it.

Ah well, you know where we are if you feel the need to talk it over some more. Hope it all works out ok for you both.

You know i read something earlier i wish i'd seen when we were having talks. The jist of it was "as the cheater you have seen the clear picture on the front of the puzzle box, therefore you can put the thousand pieces together. If you are not willing to show me that picture, how can ever piece together this puzzle".