How can I find incognito history on Chrome?

[eggplanty]

I just came up to find an incognito window open in chrome on a website that I really would not be ok with my DH watching. Unfortunately by the I had noticed I had force shut down the laptop as it was not responding so I was not able to save the window.

Is there anyway I can find out what he is doing in incognito mode?

Well if you can tell he has been on these sites whilst at home, then he must be accessing the email/PayPal from a device that's available at home. Options so far mentioned are the laptop (in incognito mode - have you taken the advice given to look up the list of sits visited via command prompt - y could easily find PayPal that way). If not...then phone is most likely I would think. then you'd need him to not have logged out, or know/guess passwords I suppose.

I feel very sorry for you...but I would echo what was said above in that it's doubtful it has anything to do with you. Even if you were looking your most fabulous and doing everything etc, it prob wouldn't make a difference. He clearly has a view in his head that this is harmless porn fun of some sort; ALL blokes do it, and he is entitled to do it and your feelings don't matter (he may even actually believe it - the mental gymnastics some peope can do with lies and bullshit never ceases to amaze me). He might say he loves you so much that he was embarrassed to ask you to do whatever it is he has asked these women to do for fear you'd be turned off and reject him and he just cares too much for that. Whatever his reasons, YOU are NOT the cause and never think you at. Oh, and in no way are you any sort of idiot for being a loyal, loving and trusting wife. Don't fucking think that either because it just isn't true. I wish everyone was like you and everyone else deserved to be trusted like that. Sadly some are arseholes; even though I bet he really really doesn't mean to be

I think being from a split family is far less harmful than having a father like him around all the time.

In your present family they are witnesses to a lack of respect from their father to their mother, and a lack of respect for herself from their mother. And that is before whatever else they witness of your family dynamic.

What is this teaching them? Your looks determine your worth? Being sexually attractive and fulfilling your own sexual wants is the number 1 priority?
Certainly not about mutual respect, care for the feelings of others, honesty or the true meaning of love.

What do you mean "giving it to a girl"? Have you found another email account? Where is he now?

You need to step away and stop looking - it can't be good for you or the baby . You have already found enough evidence that he is not a good husband or father and that he will make a very poor role model for your DC.

Don't make any decisions. You are in shock and need time to process this.

Remember that it is all about HIM and his fucked up ideas about women and sex. Even if you were perfect, he still would do these things.

He is on a chat giving a girl an email address I have never seen and giving out his skype ID. The skype on this lap top is not installed. There is an old laptop in our bedroom I am going to get. He is making additional payments in paypal. They are not showing up on the paypal we share. I have tried to login to paypal with the new email address I have just found but cannot see anything.

I am logged into the new email address and there is nothing in it.

I cannot stop looking. I need to do everything now. If I sleep I am sure he will distroy evidence. This is literally my one chance to take screen grabs of all of this. I need this evidence and I need to see the extent of it to understand what I have to do from here.

I totally understand why you feel you need to keep looking. It just seems like you are torturing yourself.

I am a person who doesn't mind some porn use. This, what you've found, for me, he'd be out the door in an instant. No question. This is having relationships, chatting, investing emotionally, in specific other women. This is spending family money on specific other women. It is, for me, SO much worse than porn and I am furious, furious on your behalf that he would think you'd accept his disgusting, lame excuse. That he'd try to make it out to be your fault.

I don't know your exact circumstances, but I promise you that people do leave marriages that they think they can't. When finances are bad. When it makes life hard. And I feel pretty certain that you can have a happier life without this asshole. And your kids will be happier with a happier mum.

OK, why do you need evidence if you are not going to leave him? What will you do with it?

OP, whilst I agree that only more hurt can come from you looking for more, I have had a partner cheat and lie and completely under stand your compulsion and need to. Don't feel bad about it or like you have to justify yourself. You are doing what you feel the need to do tonight whilst its still so raw.

Please don't let it consume you however. From the sounds of things there is so much he has done wrong, you will never find it all.

Either, I suspect she just feels a compulsion to know. Without even having a clear idea about what she will do when she does.

I understand that. Must be a horrible feeling to have the scales falling from your eyes because it undermines and re-writes not just your relationship but also yourself and your identity.

OP - it's presumably possible that he has emptied the new email account because he fears you might find it?

Sounds like you're in shock OP

You don't need to decide anything now.

Take care of yourself. Give yourself time.

In a few days or weeks or months, you will have time to think about what sort of relationship you want to role model to your children. What you want to teach them about the world and love and respect and families.

They will not learn from what you and your H tell them, but from what you do.

But you don't need to decide anything yet. You need to process what you've found out. And look after yourself.

Make sure you take screen shots of everything and email them to yourself.

Hopefully you will find a way to ltb even if you don't want to entertain the idea just yet.

OP, not only does your husband know full well that what he's going is worse than looking at porn, he also knows that most people would consider it cheating. He's saying what he's saying to minimise what he's done. HE KNOWS.

You won't entertain the idea of leaving, that's your choice of course, but have you considered that he knows you won't leave and that's why he treats you with such contempt? It's because he can and he'll continue to do so.

He is financially abusive, telling you you need to cut back on spending, whilst all the time he's spending money (and time) on this. He keeps you in ignorance of your true financial situation and, judging by your astonishingly low self esteem (as demonstrated in your posts), I would not be at all surprised if he's emotionally abusive too.

What does he do that makes you happy?

None of this is about you and how you look, it has everything to do with the fact that he's a misogynistic bastard. If you can live with that, your choice, but I don't think you can, you already seem to think very little of yourself. Where do you think your self esteem will be in 10 years time?

I know you don't want to think about divorce or the future, you've had a shock. My advice to you would be to send him away for a while, absorb what you've found out, then seek legal advice. You don't have to act on the legal advice, but it does no harm to see what you're entitled to. I suspect you'd be financially better off out of this relationship, you'd certainly be better off emotionally.

Make sure you take screen shots of everything and email them to yourself.

I'd see about changing the password on the service and also changing the email to one under my control so that he can't make a password reset request.

You have a right to find out. Ignore anyone who doesn't understand. It's a natural reaction to protect yourself and your children. Hope you are ok.

so sorry OP. This is cheating. I hope in the future you do divorce him. You think staying together will be better than being apart? Because it won't be - it will be like a death by 1,000 cuts. Bringing up children in this environment with you refusing to divorce is way more damaging than you splitting up. Because they will see your relationship as a model for their own future relationships - they will pick up on and see how you are being treated, and will consider that normal and acceptable. Also why the hell do you think so little of yourself that you think this pathetic excuse of a man is all you deserve? Because I know you deserve way much more than this - is a shame you don't see that.

I hate to say it but I would get yourself STI tested too.

I wonder what he will do next if he believes that you won't leave no matter how terribly he behaves.

There has been zero downside for him to all of this.

You found out. He lied. What was the result? A night in a hotel masturbating with multiple other women. Then coming home where you will pretend everything is OK in front of all your friends, family and dc. No-one will know. He will get to sleep in the spare room, which is great for him because he wants to masturbate with other women (it might put the women off if his pregnant wife is in the background). It'll be very convenient for him. No more sneaking around. He just pops up to the spare room and gets on with it.

I suppose you are planning to look after his children, cook his meals, do his laundry etc when he gets back?

I wonder if he will cut your allowance? He's already let you know this next year will be expensive so you will have to cut back. How's that going to feel? You know, walking round the supermarket, carefully choosing what's affordable and knowing he is paying hundreds of pounds to other women to help him masturbate?

Do you think your DC will think the atmosphere at home is pleasant?

eggplanty, I'm so sorry you're going through this .

I don't know if others have posted this now, but I wanted to clarify that generally the cam sites aren't used to meet people (while it's not unheard of, I think it's more common with other sites like AdultWork than with myfreecams). I've had both a close friend who worked on one of these sites, and an ex who used to use them a lot, so I know a fair bit about them. I'd definitely consider it cheating, and I am someone who would not consider porn cheating in the slightest, though I do have feminist objections to it (and obviously if someone's set it as a boundary it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it per se). Him acting as if he thought you'd be ok with this rather than porn honestly comes across as a weird kind of gaslighting to me. It's obvious to anyone that this is much more intimate than porn, and that any problems someone had with porn they'd have with this, too, equally, if not more.

If you want to know more about what happens on the sites or have any questions about them I can probably answer them. I understand why you want to know. When my ex cheated on me I wanted to know everything about it, even though it hurt. It didn't really make sense, but I wanted to know, and I don't regret finding out what I could. So I get where you're coming from on that, I think.

I hope you're ok, OP. The guy is a shit. You deserve better. If it's too much to think forward, though, just know you're not being unreasonable. He's trying to make you feel like you are because he's a controlling shit. You are not being unreasonable.

I confronted him once I got the children to sleep.

I asked him to swear on our childrens lives that there was no skype accounts and additional email accounts. He did. Multiple times I asked him to swear on their lives there was none and he did.

Then I told him I was logged into them and he back tracked and said well I have not used them recently so I thought that was what you meant.

He did exactly what I expected and played wide eyed that he thought this was the same as porn and if he had thought I would have viewed it as cheating he would never had done it.

He is trying to shift it to me like I am so unreasonable and only I would think this was cheating.

He has virtual sex online with women and pays them. They see his body and he instructs them what to do with theirs.

I told him I want him to leave and he wont. He is going to sleep in the spare room tonight and says he wants a second chance to earn back my trust. I said he had multiple chances to tell the truth tonight and he never did. He only admitted to anything when he was caught out.

Yes gaslighting. That is exactly what he is doing. He put on this huge baffled act that I would be so upset and think this is cheating.

He swore on your children's lives.

Anyone on here know how you can make someone leave who refuses?

Lying bastard isn't even sorry.

Risky strategy, but OP you could leave, book yourself into a lovely (expensive) hotel. Leave the DC with him. If he's the man I think he is, one day having the DCs to himself he'll be begging OP to come back and he'll agree to go.

Tell him that you and he are to go to see his parents so he can explain to them how harmless this activity is and then perhaps they'll be able to explain it to you because at the moment you consider it to be disgusting and utterly unacceptable.

He is still saying he had no idea this was any worse than porn. There are years long relationships with specific women on this site.

While he is away he contacts them and pays them for private live videos and I got barely the odd text message. I am utterly floored and want to crawl into a hole and die.

Everything is so much worse because he wont say it is cheating.

I told him I want to divorce and he says no. In all honesty I know I couldn't. I know financially and for the children I could not do it. I know a lot of people will think that's stupid and that they will be better off with just me but I just can't.