Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How can I find incognito history on Chrome?

348 replies

eggplanty · 15/01/2015 12:57

I just came up to find an incognito window open in chrome on a website that I really would not be ok with my DH watching. Unfortunately by the I had noticed I had force shut down the laptop as it was not responding so I was not able to save the window.

Is there anyway I can find out what he is doing in incognito mode?

OP posts:
HootyMcTooty · 15/01/2015 14:02

Why don't you go onto the site and see?

I agree with Cog (she's never wrong), assume the worst and let him prove you wrong. If he's chatting to other women there's every possibility he's meeting up, or he might just consider internet stuff as "not real cheating" so keeps it just to internet activity. If he's meeting people for sex, what motivation would he have to tell the truth? You already know he's a liar.

dominogocatgo · 15/01/2015 14:03

Usually on webcam sites viewers are encouraged to pay the performers to put on a show. They don't normally arrange to meet in real life. Not all performers are female. There was a documentary on Ch4 last year about it.

Original poster
eggplanty · 15/01/2015 14:03

I found all the bill archives on the site now. Its been going on the whole duration of our marriage.

OP posts:
HootyMcTooty · 15/01/2015 14:04
Sad
DrDre · 15/01/2015 14:07

You can't find incognito history - as said previously that is the point of it. Some routers keep a log of sites visited. However these are commonly found in offices so the employer can keep track of what the employees have been viewing. It is unlikely your home router will do this. The only other option is to contact your ISP and ask if they keep a record and if you can see it.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/01/2015 14:07

How much has he spent?

DrDre · 15/01/2015 14:08

Sorry missed the latest posts - my previous one is not relevant now.

HootyMcTooty · 15/01/2015 14:12

Well if it's been going on that long you need to accept that this is a part of him. Do you want to be in a relationship with that? Do you want to be with a man who buys women's orifices over the internet?

Once the cat is out of the bag, what if he promises to stop? Would you believe him or think he would just get better at hiding his tracks?

I'm going to get a little harsh with you now (sorry). He won't stop. He'll tell you he will, but he won't.

He'll also probably claim some sort of porn/sex addiction. It's bullshit. He views women as objects and lacks self control. I'll bet if he hasn't cheated on you physically, he will do. Why? Because he has no problem giving himself permission to do things behind your back, which he knows would upset you, on the basis that as long as you don't find out it's not a problem.

RandomNPC · 15/01/2015 14:14

I'm really sorry to hear this, eggplanty. What an awful shock.

Original poster
eggplanty · 15/01/2015 14:19

Does anyone have any idea on the difference between group shows, "voyeur" and "tips". That's what they show up as on the bills. Group shows I am guessing he is watching with other clients (and they all talk/chat to the girl with requests?), voyeur seems to be the cheapest thing to do. Is this just watching the girls cam (?) why so much cheaper than group show? And then there are loads of "tips" which are the biggest payments. Some of the tip payments have comments attached about the girls body etc.

So is a tip payment for a private chat?

He has spent hundred and hundred of pounds on this. It would take me ages to work out how much. But he has been on all month. Almost everyday. He started on this webcam platform just before we got married so years. I am guessing he was somewhere else before this and is probably on other sites too.

People don't have a go at me for wanting to know this stuff. I have to know.

OP posts:
Original poster
eggplanty · 15/01/2015 14:22

I do not think he will stop no. I am sure he will tell me he will and he has also offered to go to councelling. Wow. Great.

I can't leave my marriage. Totally impossible. (Again, don't have a go at me its just totally beyond my abilities right now.)

OP posts:
offside · 15/01/2015 14:23

I'm so sorry you're going through this eggplanty.

I'm still struggling with confidence after pregnancy and would be distraught if I found this now, let alone whilst being pregnant. This would be a deal breaker for me.

I'm sorry I don't know anything about this and hope someone can shed some light for you.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/01/2015 14:23

I think the descriptions are pretty self explanatory. 'Voyeur'... viewing what's being offered. 'Tips'.... paying to view something extra, maybe with a commentary, maybe with chatting.

Realise that you want to know everything but there is a point where you don't find out anything else useful, you just make yourself more miserable.

HootyMcTooty · 15/01/2015 14:29

So when your baby comes along he will continue his daily routine of cheating with you online, while you feel shit about yourself.

I feel sorry for you but you need to reconsider your last post. Is it really impossible to leave? Is it that you can't or won't?

VernonGodLittle · 15/01/2015 14:35

Oh dear eggplanty, what an unpleasant thing to discover.

I'd say voyeur means watching what other blokes are directing her to do whilst having no say in it, group would mean being able to direct her yourself with others able to do the same, and the tips are most likely him chatting/viewing privately. I believe this means she can also see him on camera.

Porn is one thing, but for me, this would be a deal-breaker, the intimacy involved. I would also be wondering if he was also paying for sex tbh.

Again, I'm sorry you're in this crap situation. What would prevent you from leaving?

Original poster
eggplanty · 15/01/2015 14:51

We already have children. I have his phone is there anything I should be looking for on there. Looking at the sheer amount of time he has been doing this there must be stuff on the phone and iPad, I have both. He will never, ever tell me the full story I need to find out on my own. I don't care if that's "wrong" its what I feel I need to do right now.

OP posts:
NeitherHereOrThere · 15/01/2015 14:54

Of course you have to know.

You need to know who you are married to and what kind of father he already is.

Men like him have probably done it in real life as well as online - if he is used to spending hundreds of pounds and hiding it all, what's to stop him from using prostitutes (many webcam performers are prostitutes as well)? This means you need to get tested for STDs.

He will never change. You cannot stop him. He will never be the partner and father you and your baby deserve.

You have two options - do nothing or leave.

offside · 15/01/2015 14:54

On the IPad, if you got to "settings" then "safari" and onto "advanced" it'll show you all website data, even the stuff that was browsed in "incognito" mode. It doesn't tell you when, but it'll show you how the amount of data used on each site which will dictate how often he visits the site (s). From what I understand from others on here anyway.

NeitherHereOrThere · 15/01/2015 14:56

Also do you have access to bank/card accounts?

How come you didn't notice all that money leaving the accounts?

I really would seek legal advice to find out where you stand financially. This may help you decide your next move.

Drumdrum60 · 15/01/2015 15:01

You need to see bank accounts, credit cards and itemised phone bills. This should tell you everything. Look for large ATM withdrawals of 50 and over. Note where and time.
This is probably only the tip of an iceberg . Do not let him blame you in anyway. In fact keep quiet until you have gathered all evidence.

Original poster
eggplanty · 15/01/2015 15:05

He has already blamed me. Said that he knew I wasn't ok with porn so was doing this. I never said I wasn't ok with porn. I have found more. I want to die.

I never had any access to finances. I don't need to be told I am an idiot. I completely trusted my husband.

OP posts:
VernonGodLittle · 15/01/2015 15:10

So he thought you weren't OK with porn, but thought you'd b OK with one to one live webcamming? Confused

You're not an idiot, you just trusted him. What are you going to do?

HootyMcTooty · 15/01/2015 15:10

He has already blamed me. Said that he knew I wasn't ok with porn so was doing this.

Eh?

What kind of person would use webcam services because their partner wasn't happy with them using porn? He doesn't have very much respect for you does he?

Please can you clarify what you mean about never having access to finances? Do you mean you don't have access to his statements or do you mean he controls all the family finances? Are you a SAHM?

Original poster
eggplanty · 15/01/2015 15:13

SAHM he controls all the finances.

OP posts:
Drumdrum60 · 15/01/2015 15:13

He isn't making any sense is he? He acting like an entitled twat. Demand financial info and if he won't that tells you all you need to know.
It should be him not you that feels like dying. You need to be strong or he will walk all over you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread