I suspect that most of us, when receiving devastating news, wish that we could pretend that nothing has happened and be able to carry on as normal. But that's not possible and it takes time to get over the shock and decide what, if anything, we wish to do about it.
You cannot un-know what you now know. And that's the fact that your husband is unable (or unwilling) to have a normal, adult relationship with you (or most probably anyone else) where he can initiate intimate contact. That he can only be intimate at arm's-length where he can maintain control over what happens and when and for how long. From what you have described, it sounds like he does have an emotional bond of sorts with these women, or he wouldn't have been paying the same ones over a very long period for their services.
If you think you can be happy in a marriage where you always have to initiate intimacy with your unwilling partner, can tolerate him seeking an outlet which completely excludes you, and where he spends what should be family-money on it, maybe for the rest of your lives, then good luck to you.
But please don't be persuaded that just because he hasn't done sexy-time with these people in real life that it doesn't fall into the category of being unfaithful. If you think he's betrayed his marriage vows, then he has. All that guff he's come out with is just blatant minimising. The usual routine is: deny, deny, deny. When faced with the actual, indisputable facts of his actions, it's minimise, and when that won't wash it's turn it round and blame the accuser for some imagined deficiencies that "made them" do it.
He did this of his own free will, didn't give a fuck how you would feel about it and you are not to blame for any of it. In the same circs I would feel that I'd got myself married under false pretences. And would be mad as hell. You are entitled to feel entirely differently but you cannot turn back the clock.