How can I find incognito history on Chrome?

[eggplanty]

I just came up to find an incognito window open in chrome on a website that I really would not be ok with my DH watching. Unfortunately by the I had noticed I had force shut down the laptop as it was not responding so I was not able to save the window.

Is there anyway I can find out what he is doing in incognito mode?

I don't think he would take immediate action anyway . He's probably skulking around somewhere feeling righteous and wronged.

So it's not classified as cheating? This is what he keeps saying and apparently it's true.

For the sake of our children I should probably just get over it as he keeps suggesting.

I suggested to keep evidence safe so you can remind yourself this has really happened, although this may be useful for other purposes at some point.
There is no way your husband is gone to speak about anybody else about his dirty secrets. You can be sure of that. But he may block any access to money or blocking your phone. He locked you in yesterday. You know you cannot trust him and he is probably trying to find a way to delete as much as he can from his records/machines. He is probably also trying to make sure you can do nothing about it.

Who cares what it is classified as. In my eyes it is certainly cheating and disloyalty. Of course he won't admit to that. And no for the sake of your children and yourself you shouldn't get over it. I mean how could you?

This is much worse than cheating eggplanty. This is why you seem to feel too embarrassed to speak with someone else. But it is not for you to be ashamed. He must be really scared now, because I cannot imagine a single person who would not find this behavior disgusting.

It's not legally classified as infidelity, but neither are homosexual affairs.

It would certainly qualify as behaviour you could not be expected to live with, i.e. unreasonable behaviour, and you would be granted a divorce because of this.

Eggplanty. Look I know I'm a stranger on the Internet but in a way that makes my opinion more valid because I have nothing to gain by giving you my honest opinion.

THIS MOST DEFINITELY IS CHEATING

I would consider it to be cheating if my DP did it to me. I would consider it to be cheating if a friend told me that they had done it to their other half. I am on a train at the moment and I would bet you a million pounds that everybody else in this carriage would consider it to be cheating as well.

He is lying to you when he says that it is not cheating. Just like he's lied to you all along.

You need to wake up now before he completely browbeats you. Come on eggplanty . Start fighting.

Eggplanty, would you be able to let us know which options you have in terms of persons you would be able to speak to? It has been asked several times and you seem to be avoiding the answer (which is totally fine, obviously, but I feel it may help if you write down your options for real life support).

Avoiding intimacy with your partner to wank on life internet sites while your wife is pregnant and under the same roof spending hundreds of pounds is not in the same planet of meeting someone and having sex with them. He is thinking on how to cover up this because he knows perfectly well how this is going to make him look if people know.

You need to protect yourself somehow, get hold of the money, get some help before you find out you have no internet connection, no phone and no money (I may be a paranoid here, but I would not give him a chance)

Cheating in the law for divorce purposes and actual cheating are not the same. WHo cares if the judge won't count this as cheating, you do!

You should not put up and shut up. Do you want your children growing up believing this is a normal relationship?

I think he's playing with your head and it must be difficult to think straight at the moment. (For what it's worth I'm a man and absolutely consider this to be cheating).

If it would help, just play out a thought experiment in your head. If everyone on the thread were to say to you that legally this isn't cheating. What would you think? Would that make it any easier for you to cope with what he has done?

Of course it's cheating whether legally recognised as such anyway. He kept in touch with some of these women for years. He will be trying to mess with your head.
Don't talk to him. Hold your power if you can.
It's all about his vile attitude isn't it? Don't let him twist it. Hold your ground. It's the only way. Do you really want him the way he is? No. Do not be delusional because it's easier. That's what he's done.

I'm not saying I agree with the legal definition of cheating.
He'd be out on his arse, I can assure you. What hideous behaviour.

If he didn't consider it cheating why did he hide it? I mean if he thought it was ok and you wouldn't be bothered he would have done it in front of you wouldn't he. And told you how much his delightful hobby was costing your family.

But heck - he is certainly playing an absolute blinder and completely messing with your head. I would have chucked him and his sorry arse out onto the pavement by now. And told everyone in RL I could have get hold of. But I know it is early days for you and you are still in shock.

You will find your strength from your anger - and I hope that will spur you to get rid of him. But please do take real life support. The shame is all his - that is why he is minimising. Nobody will think bad of you. Nobody here does do they - and previous poser was right, we are strangers. We are not invested in your life and we are objective. Do you think all of us are wrong?

Gilbert I think your previous post there was so unhelpful. It will have helped reinforce exactly what the op's scumbag husband is saying.

Who gives a fuck about legalities. If it looks like cheating, sounds like cheating and FEELS like cheating, it's cheating

He keeps saying he would never have done it if he knew it would upset me..

Bullshit. You never knew about it because he knew what he was doing was wrong and would hurt you immensely but he wanted to anyway.

You've said over a period of years he's invested far more time, emotion and money into his disgusting behaviour than he has in his own marriage.

Thank fuck you've got proof of this. You marriage was always one sided.

He is trying to control you. Have none of it.

Very few people get divorced on the legal grounds of Adultary, this is partly because it is very hard to prove. You basically need a confession or evidence of the partner doing the deed (maybe a film?).
But even where Adultary is involved most people are advised to go for Unreasonable Behaviour, as this is much easier to prove (sexy emails to a work colleague could be see as this, even if you can't prove they had dtd). The government believes that spending too much time in court arguing over whose "fault" everything is, does no one any good (especially children). So for this reason there has been no attempt to update the antiquated Adultary laws. That doesn't mean that any normal person or belief system would classify his actions as anything other than cheating and morally repugnant.

No one here has I think said they find his actions anything other than unreasonable

Bitoutofpractice, it really wasn't intended to be unhelpful. If the arse of a husband is trying to claim she can't divorce him as it isn't "technically" cheating, I was attempting to give reasons as to why it would still be seen as more than enough to divorce over.

Legal definition of cheating is incredibly narrow. Moral definition is much broader, as you point out.

Fine let's take cheating out of the equation.

He has a habit that is a) deeply hurtful to you and would be to ANY reasonable person b) a huge secret from you c) costing your family a significant amount of money.

Whether or not he wants to admit it's cheating, he's a disgusting, lying creep. I'm so so sorry that this is happening to you, but the things he is saying, this focus on whether it was 'cheating' or not, as though it makes a difference, make it clear that he does not in a million years deserve your love.

Anyone who felt an ounce of guilt about what they had done, or really wanted to show that they cared about you, wouldn't be focusing on making you admit some ridiculous word definition. They wouldn't be making up a story about thinking you wouldn't mind. They just wouldn't. It's not OK, OP. It's not.

I'm so sorry.

Hah, tbh I think most people would think he was even more of a sleaze bag than a bloke who'd had an affair, if he's so unashamed why not tell people in his community?

Gen35 good point. An affair at least would involve a real woman, not women he was paying to pretend to be interested in him. I'd definitely think even less of someone who did this than someone who had an affair.

I'm a bloke, FWIW. He's cheating, there's no doubt about it. Locking you in the house?? What a twat.

He has been essentially paying for sexual services- for years!

As others have said if he thought it wouldn't upset you and it catagorically wasnt wrong why did he have secret email addresses? Why did he only do it when he was away and couldn't get caught? Why did he initially deny it? Why didn't he tell you aa about his monthly spending on this when you were discussing your tight finances? His story doesn't add up at all. What is his answer for those questions.

I find his behaviour abhorrent and I think even he would be hard pressed to find someone who agrees with his attitude and argument.

I thought his behaviour was awful when you first posted, but his subsequent gaslighting, minimizing and quite frankly abusive behaviour to you since confronting him has taken him past any chance of redemption. He is a cold, selfish bully OP. You seem like a wonderful, caring woman and mother and you deserve none of this.

Please seek out RL support. Tell someone about this because I assure you their reaction will be a million miles away from his and hopefully it will help you to feel more confident in seeing what an absolute pile of shot he is feeding you. If he wants to pathetically cling to the word of the law let him, it is cheating or he wouldn't have hid it. If you are being SO unreasonable why don't you suggest that you tell his friends and family exactly what he's done and take a raise of hands vote as to who thinks it's cheating. I bet the thought of sharing this little hobby with anyone in RL makes him shit his cowardly pants!