sex problems - how do we sort this out?

[usernamechangeryetagain]

DP and i had a discussion about this at the weekend, can't really cAll it a row cos I wasn't disputing what he said. But he is clearly upset about it.

We've been together nearly a year. I've had gynae problems which mean I am bleeding fairly constantly. Sometimes it's barely anything, others like a full on period.I've seen my gp several times and basically they won't do anything about it.

When it first started I avoided sex with dp completely. He got concerned by this understand ably,we talked and basically agreed when it was at the lighter times, apologies for tmi, we'd try then.a.d that's how we've gone on.

That means in a typical month I'm probably only able to have sex half the time at best. Which doesn't sound so bad, but the added complication is that we don't live together, and sex at my house is impossible because of dc.

This all blew up because dp said he couldn't remember the last time we had full sex (it was before Xmas, with the Xmas break we've been spending more time at my house) and one time we did try over Xmas when the DC were out, I made a flippant comment during which was silly and put him off, and really upset him.I apologised sincerely at the time but he is still hurt about that.

I don't know what to do. We do spend some time at his, but only once a week at most,and hesaid he hates feeling it I has to be that night, he would rather it was less planned. The only thing I can think of is spending more time there, I'm just worried that might not solve the problem.

I would go and see another doctor.

I've seen 4 doctors at my surgery. They say it's a common side effect of contraception and unless it was a continuous full period which it's not,don't seem that bothered.

It sounds like you need a new GP, you shouldn't have to put up with continuous bleeding. In the meantime, what about non-PIV sex ?

Can you change your contraception method?

Why do the DC stop you having sex at yours?

He should be nicer to you though.

I'm on a waiting list for a place at another surgery.

We do other things but dp doesn't really enjoy it, he says it feels liked a poor substitute. Plus I'm not great at it, my arm gets tired and he has to do half the work which isnt great, and makes me feel bad.

what about changing contraception? this one is clearly wrong for you

Neither of us feel comfortable having sex with DC here, walls are quite thin, and they are teens so up quite late, so we can't be sure they're asleep etc.

I will hopefully change contraception with new gp, but I've been told by current ones I may still have the same problem.

Do you want to have more sex?
Which contraception is it?

What about condoms? Or diaphragm to hold the bleeding on top of usual method?

When the bleedings heavier,as it is about half the month, it's just not practical to have sex, we did try once and ruined bedding and mattress.

In not used to frequent sex. I was single for a long time before dp, prior to that in a relationship where sex was an annual event at best. I love him, I fancy him loads, I find it hard to enjoy sex as much as I did at the start cos I'm worrying about bleeding everywhere.

Everyone - it's not always easy to change contraception. Due to my previous migraines, I could ONLY ever take Cerazette (the every day pill), due to an increased risk of blood clots - because of migraines I had years and years ago.

Those contraceptives gave me never ending bleeding, but it's true, doctors can't do anything about this side effect unfortunately...

What's worse, because I had to always have at least a daily pad there, and a lot of the time tampons etc - I would get constant thrushes!:(

After a year of suffering, I came off contraception whatsoever and husband and myself have been using withdrawal method, for 6 years. Of course not recommended for a non LTR, but maybe condoms...?

Feel your pain

You need medical help...that amount of bleeding I'd be surprised if you aren't anaemic.

It must be frustrating for you both, but I'd be worried that he is more worried about missing sex than you being unwell. Has he offered to take responsibility for contraception to assist you getting better?

The issue and the contraception. Started at the same time?

i worry about bleeding everywhere

Erm, what about a shower, a bath? A thick, big black blanket that you won't use again?

I've had thrush several times too.

My gp have said I might well have the same problem with any hormonal contraception.

We used condoms at the start but one split, which was a worry, we wanted something more reliable and easier (haha if only we'd known). Up til then everything was fine. Since this constant bleeding it's been really difficult.

Just to say we do shower before and after, but it's the bed etc. I worry about it going through sheets and mattress protectors it has in the past

Why don't you use condoms? Why do you need hormonal contraception? No way would I put up with constant bleeding for a year, that sounds horrendous. I also don't like sex while I'm bleeding, so that's not so odd.
Your 'DP' is behaving like a twat also.

Condoms are quite reliable if you use them properly. If it split then it was either too small or put on wrong.

The silly comment I made...it was something about sale shopping, just what was in my head at the time.dp was insulted because he felt I wasn't concentrating. I apologised at the time,thought it was then he brought it up again at the weekend

Is he really a nice person? He doesn't sound very nice.

I'd go for condons and cap.

I'd also go for a rubber bottom sheet or you can get waterproof mattress protectors.

The mini pill and the depo both made me bleed constantly for months. I was told the implant would have the same effect so avoided that. I ended up with the Mirena coil and it was amazing (had it out after 6 years). No constant bleeding and only the lightest periods ever.

Switch back to condoms and take the MAP if one splits.

The sale thing sounds like the sort of thing i would say! DH would roll his eyes but we'd still carry on!

Aside from the possible solutions to the bleeding, I would be worried if a DP said other forms of sex were a poor substitute considering the circumstances. Surely the intimacy is the most important thing? Ok for him to be disappointed but he shouldn't make you feel bad.

Also you shouldn't have to change GP to change contraception. Family planning clinic?