Inappropriate content shown to a child. Help me deal with it.

[ThisHasToStop]

So, this evening my husband decides to show my 7y old daughter a new clip from Sia (elastic heart).

I am fuming. He's been known to do this before. Last time was on Christmas day, Avatar, in my absence (I was driving to bring family to ours). I previously said that I can reluctantly agree to the 10y old watching this with an adult (so my husband), but said clearly this is not OK for 7y old DD. Most upsetting similar example was Grave of the Fireflies, which he was showing to DD when she was 6. I stopped it after 15mins but even so she still had nightmares associated with the grim content.

But Sia for me takes this to a whole new level. Previous clip (Chandelier) was unsettling enough, and already had sexual subtext. But this one is just paedophilia.

DD didn't seem interested in the clip, so confronting there and then in front of the kids didn't seem like a good idea to me. Then I had to leave, and when came back, husband was already asleep. So the difficult conversation will happen tomorrow. Not a bad thing, gives me time to prepare.

For context, relationship is in a bad state anyway. But at this point I'm asking for help with framing the difficult discussion.

Also considering educating DD on what's appropriate. Even if she is not strong enough to confront daddy, then at least she'll have some nagging voice in her head about what's right. She already knows about movie ratings.

Sigh.

But this one is just paedophilia

Well, either this is a wild exaggeration or you should know exactly what to do?

No idea what it is she has been shown and no urge to google it, so hard to say, without more detail, if I agree with your assessment of it or not, but mt first sentence stands.

Are you serious?

justjuanmorebeer, I am serious.

I don't think the video is inappropriate at all and what's wrong with avatar?

Well, as PP said- do you honestly see this video as paedophilia or art?

Also, does your husband see this video as paedopilia, art, or if hes anything like my husband wouldn't have thought twice about it other than maybe thinking DD would be interested in the dancing?

If you genuinely think its paedophilia, and he genuinely thinks its paedophilia then leave him. If not, get over it?

Also, Avatar? I'm sure I've watched this with my 4yo

ChippingInLatteLover - well, assessment of the actual content matters, because my husband will dispute it. In the video a 12 year old girl and 28 man dance in a cage, dressed in skin-coloured clothes, as if naked. Sia, the actual singer, is not in the clip. You can debate whether it's art or not, in adult viewers context, but I am talking about showing this video to a young child.

I found out it is a pop-promo video, just watched it.

Blinking crap song, for sure. I read the Guardian's review

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/11/sia-video-pop-music-not-paedophilia

I agree : Pop music not paedophilia.

I think its just dancing?? Most of Sia's songs represent struggles she's had in her life. Chandelier was about her alcoholism and this one is about her fathers mental health issues and her attempts to help him. I'm guessing the video is just an interpretation of this. I honestly don't see anything sexual there at all. Its Art.

Even if she is not strong enough to confront daddy, then at least she'll have some nagging voice in her head about what's right.

This is worrying.

I think its just dancing?? Most of Sia's songs represent struggles she's had in her life. Chandelier was about her alcoholism and this one is about her fathers mental health issues and her attempts to help him. I'm guessing the video is just an interpretation of this. I honestly don't see anything sexual there at all. Its Art.

oh sorry for double post

HowDoesThatWork - appropriate for a 7y old? In your view.

I don't see it as sexual at all, it's angry and unsettling, but not sexual in my eyes.

I see expressive/creative dancing. What's wring with avatar? apart from being over hyped crap

This guy really doesn't look like her (girl's) father though, does he? And doesn't act like one.

Seriously!? The child is Madison Ziegler, she's a professional dancer. Is your issue with the fact she was dancing with a man? :S I think you're being weird tbh.
And my 5 year old niece loves Avatar, so you've lost me there as well.

Thanks everyone for your comments, so late at night. Appreciate it.

When I first read your OP and saw that you had a problem with Avatar, I will admit that I thought you were overreacting.

Then I watched the music video you are talking about.

It made me extremely uncomfortable.

Maybe because I have a DD of a similar age to the girl in the video (or maybe because I don't think it's right for 12 year old girls to dance in that way with adult men).

Apparently there's been a few people complaining but quite a lot of people have defended it as art!

I think what's more important here is how your DH views it. I could imagine my DP showing my DD this in a way to show her how some music videos are inappropriate and not to be copied. But if my DP showed my DD it for enjoyment, and thought it was normal and ok, then I would have to seriously think about the type of man I want bringing up my DD.

I think it's quite an odd thing to do.

She is a talented dancer, yes. Issue is with suggested nakedness, and suggestive paedophilia. Sia admitted she expected paedophilia comments, so association was obvious even to her, no?

You understand her dad also gets to decide what he thinks is appropriate viewing for his child,don't you?

You are not in charge he is an equal parent

It's not supposed to be her father in the video at all. If you Google the meaning you will see Sia's explanation that both of the characters are her 'two warring 'Sia' self states' Ok, not much of an explanation I grant you

I watched the video yesterday after people posting on Facebook about it. As I understood it, it's about a child and her father struggling to communicate. It's raw and emotional, but I didn't see anything close to sexual content. I think it's more appropriate for a child than most of the music videos I've seen recently.

Explain to your husband how you feel about it, but don't assume that he sees anything sexual or inappropriate in the video.

I'm with needs. You're whole post makes DH sound like another child.

I previously said that I can reluctantly agree to the 10y old watching this with an adult

I stopped it after 15mins

So the difficult conversation will happen tomorrow. Not a bad thing, gives me time to prepare

You do realise you are both her parents and should both have a say in what is appropriate for your child??

Appropriateness for your 7 year old, I can't judge. I think my 6 year old would just walk away from it, viewing it as not very interesting. Same for me.