I only want a man for sex...

[Sundayplease]

...and fixing things. That's it.

I think I could be happy with no lifelong partner but just a few men in my life to help me out with the practical stuff and the sex.

They are the only two things I miss about not being in a relationship.

I have plenty of friends for the companionship, having a laugh, doing stuff like meals out, cinema, etc. I have dc and family I see regularly and am very close to.

The thought of sharing my home with someone, even just the staying over, all the compromising, putting up with what they want to watch on the tv, their fussy eating habits, their toilet habits, ugh, it really puts me off. The thought of sharing a bed with a man for a whole night, morning breath, stale farts, alcohol fumes, flabby bodies, hair and sweat, smelly socks, makes me feel sick. I am not exaggerating.

Does anyone feel the same way or is there something wrong with me?

We had our own homes and were totally exclusive to one another and that was great.
But then we got sick of all the travelling and decided it would be nicer and cheaper to be permanently together.

i do miss having the bed to myself though but that's all.

What I can never understand, based on the number of women on MN over the years who have said they have had or have a FWB, is where the hell you've all been hiding??? I've been single for years and while ideally I'd like a relationship, I'd be happy for a casual FWB thing to at least feel alive and sexual again (my previous LTR had been pretty sexless). I never find women who are just after FWB on dating sites!

I could have written your post pretty much word for word, OP! Except the bit about the fixing things - I've self taught how to be handy

I'm 27 and have been this way since I was 19. I had my daughter at 20 and remember people always saying things like, "Must be hard being a single parent. How on earth do you cope without a man?!"

I "cope" fantastically well. I'm happy, independent and have a very nice lifestyle. I have a wonderful friendship group, a stable job, a lovely home, a beautiful daughter and I genuinely enjoy my life. Everything is done off my own back, I don't answer to anybody, I never need to compromise and the only person I need to pick up after is a 7 year old, who is getting a lot better at tidying up after herself the older she gets.

A lot of people I work with think I'm strange. One of my managers at work actually asked me today if my New Years resolution was to finally settle down. I don't know why people think it's appropriate to ask such things. I don't want to settle down. I don't need to settle down. I am perfectly happy just the way I am. There is nothing wrong with me. A relationship would make me miserable.

I have quite a few stored numbers in my phone if I ever want no strings attached company. I'm never short on offers and I'm never lonely. I don't get attached, I'm not clingy and I don't like getting too personal. I don't need or want to know all the mundane details in a mans life - I'm nobody's agony aunt. I'm a chauvinists nightmare

I freely admit to being selfish. That's what makes me cherish my single life - I can be selfish without being branded a heartless, self-centered bitch. That's not to say I'm selfish by nature, quite the opposite. I'm naturally very sensitive and kindly. But when it comes to relations with men I have the option to be selfish: No, I don't want you to stay over. No, I don't want to hear about all your woes. No, we can't have a relationship. No, Tuesday doesn't work for me.

The vast majority of my friends who are in relationships spend most of their time moaning about their relationships. I'm sure they all love their significant others very much, but the complaining is unbelievable. I can't think of a single instance where we have met up and I was showered with a verbal assault on how wonderful their partners were. Their lives seem so compounded by day-to-day relationship misery and I just don't want that for myself. Time is limited. Frankly, I'd rather spend it doing it 'my' way knowing that's what makes me happy.

Like it, vinotime! exactly what I feel.

"One of my managers at work actually asked me today if my New Years resolution was to finally settle down."

I can't stand this kind of thinking. Probably the main reason that I'm single and not married is because I am settled down and have a good life of my own.

Getting married would probably turn my life arse up and unsettle everything.

I thought it was just everyone I knew who was married who spent a large majority of their time complaining about their 'other halves'

It's tiring.

What makes me laugh is I'll hear married work mates constantly moaning about things like how they spent all evening watching tv in the bedroom because 'she' was watching Corry, Eastenders, Doc Martin or whatever in the living room; then later I'll get questions like, "So how come you're not married then?" or "You ever think about finding a nice woman/settling down/getting married?"

Yeah right, so I can sign up to the moany old bastards club at work. No ta.

Vinotime - fab post. I'm ever so slightly older with a few more children, currently divorcing my husband of 6 years. I have never been happier!

I can't imagine ever wanting to have a man live with me again. I'm financially stable alone, the DC are happy and I don't want to rock that boat. I've had one relationship since separating with my H, he became a clingy, needy mess and wanted far, far more than I could give. One FWB relationship that I ended after 4 months due to his nonsensical oddness, shame as I'm very fond of the weirdo.

Despite my 'baggage' I'm not short of male attention but they all want commitment. I just want mind blowing sex and someone to go on weekend breaks with

The thing is VinoTime you sound absolutely 'settled down', just not with a partner.

Thank you all for this thread, it's fascinating.

I'm not sure I could cope with a fuckbuddy not likely to get one either, and FWB sounds a bit tenuous.

The idea of a committed, exclusive on-going relationship that doesn't involve sharing a home sounds perfect.

I guess it just means letting go of traditional expectations and being able to tell other people to bugger off and mind their own business.

I don't think the op is being selfish, she's just knows what she wants.
To me the perfect relationship is seperate houses. I'm at that stage in my life where i don't want to live with anybody again, i like my independence, i like the house being quiet, i like being able to get in the shower and not be faced with a plughole blocked with hair .
The financials matter as well, my house is nearly paid off and as far as I'm concerned this is my daughter's inheritance.
I'm in a relationship now and it's going very well, we see each other 2-3 times a week and it works so far and the only time we've spent the night together is if we have gone away.
It works for us but it's not for everybody, i can't do the fwb as in my mind they may have other fwb. I much prefer a comitted relationship with seperate homes.

That's strange, I don't think I've ever heard anybody at work moaning about their long term partner except maybe in a one off tongue in cheek sort of way. they mostly seem perfectly happy like me. Must be the people you work with.

Fuckbuddy is the same thing as FWB. The concept really came about in American colleges, sometime in the 90s, when men and women realised they didn't necessarily need to like the same music, or each others friends or have to get engaged in order to enjoy sex. It's fine, as a concept (if an oddly un sexy one to my mind) but can only really work if the woman is not too attracted to the man. Don't flame me for saying that- I don't make the rules!

To the PP who wondered why women who want fuckbuddies never say so online; that would be madness! Her inbox would be jammed with cock shots before you could say " mutually satisfying arrangement "

I know maybe 4 seemingly really happy couples. I would have said 5 but one, I just found out is getting divorced.

I only know one happy couple. Another couple appear the perfect match, tall, good looking, 2 children, healthy finances, lovely home...when the wife told me they hadn't had sex for six years I thought I was hearing things.

Thanks everyone for your input. It has clarified my thoughts for me.

I am quite of Cogito's relationship. I've been totally single for four years and it's great, I have no desire at all to mess up my nice life with a man. But I do want to have sex again before I die, and I'm not one for emotion-free sex.

Now - how to find this mythical paragon of great sex, interesting conversation, fun holidays and no desire for matrimony...?

I am a woman.... but I never ask anyone what they are thinking about or expect men to sit down to pee (wtf!)
Agreed mooth !

Well done Sunday. As a male who has not had sex for many years I welcome the idea of FWB . The problem is finding one, dating websites introduced me to women who were trying to find a man who could repair the damage done to them by their previous relationship.I did feel compassion towards them but had to be honest in admitting I was not seeking a relationship.
Some of the sites mentioned on here as alternatives to dating sites are weird to say the least so the challenge for me is how do I find my Sunday?
Incidentally, there are one or two women about who fart, one of the lesser joys of mixed Pilates classes!

Dating sites are overrun with men just wanting sex.

If you just want sex go to a bar and leave the women with a chance of finding a man who is good company and capable of forming a connection.

Or stick to tinder. There's literally NO point trying to do internet dating becauuse it's just crawling with men who only want fuck buddies. Lovely.

ps, definitely not getting married though!! there must be something in between fucking randomers and getting married though! maybe not.

For different reasons I'm also surprised by how many people on mn say they have or have had a FB.

I have to really enjoy somebody's company and be attracted to them and respect them as a person before I'd want to sleep with them. So, it'd be a small group that I'd like enough to sleep with but not enough to go out with.

I don't really understand the difference. I wouldn't get confused though. The oxytocin certainly wouldnt make me fall in love though............. I've maade a few mistakes and I never saw it for anything other than a mistake. So, never had that thing where the oxytocin makes you fall in love with somebody you wouldn't have good reason to love.

I have a great FWB arrangement. I see him once a week. The sex is absolutely mind blowing and adventurous. If there are any wee things I need done round the house he does them while I make lunch. then off he goes til the next week. We're great friends and talk loads but our arrangement suits us down to the ground

Is this thread simply a cover for people finding no strings hook ups ?

I'd like know how many private messages have been made as a direct result

What are the chances of two randomers both wanting to have sex with each other?

Would they sleep with each other to be polite?

A friend and I were discussing this recently. We've both been happily married since God was a Corporal to wonderful men.

The issue of 'what if we were to be single' was raised and we both agreed that neither of us would EVER want to marry or cohabit again. Nor would we want anyone who made demands on our time or expected us to take care of them. The word we came up with was 'companion'. Someone to do things and go places with. Someone who just wanted to enjoy our company (& vice versa). But someone who would also understand that our families came first (again, and vice versa).

Companion = more than a 'fuck buddy', but less than a boyfriend.

"I'd like know how many private messages have been made as a direct result."

42 private messages in the last hour, so a bit down on the usual amount.