I only want a man for sex...

[Sundayplease]

...and fixing things. That's it.

I think I could be happy with no lifelong partner but just a few men in my life to help me out with the practical stuff and the sex.

They are the only two things I miss about not being in a relationship.

I have plenty of friends for the companionship, having a laugh, doing stuff like meals out, cinema, etc. I have dc and family I see regularly and am very close to.

The thought of sharing my home with someone, even just the staying over, all the compromising, putting up with what they want to watch on the tv, their fussy eating habits, their toilet habits, ugh, it really puts me off. The thought of sharing a bed with a man for a whole night, morning breath, stale farts, alcohol fumes, flabby bodies, hair and sweat, smelly socks, makes me feel sick. I am not exaggerating.

Does anyone feel the same way or is there something wrong with me?

Of course

"The guys I've met post-divorce all seem to want a relationship, even those online, talking about weekend breaks, rings, moving in"

There are a lot of bullshitters who will say what they think a woman wants to hear in order to fuck her. I hate these types as they are the ones that have hurt me the most in the past. Advertising that you only want FWB really shifts the power onto you and cuts out all the BS. Personally I've found the situation I'm in at the moment to be one of my best "relationships" to date in many ways.

Hmm yes that last sentence is true mooth

Sadly I don't do sex without emotion but wish I did and am otherwise in complete agreement with you OP

I do think it's partly that knocking on the door of 50 and having spent all my adult life until the last five years married or in a relationship that I am very jaded by men.

It's been a revelation how pleasant , drama free and contented single life is

I don't think this is a sad thread at all. It's a lifestyle choice and not for everyone but my thinking is that as long as you are honest and say what you want from any type of relationship / FWB situation, and there is mutual agreement and respect then that's fine.

We all have little niggles about the loo and morning breath etc and yes, if you are in a close, loving, long term relationship you talk these things through - or buy super strength mouth wash.

I would however never invite mademan round as I burnt my bacon recently and the grill went on fire. I wouldn't want him to pee on it

"It's been a revelation how pleasant , drama free and contented single life is"

I'd second that Coming. I've been my most happy when I've been content being single. If me and my man split up I can't see me wanting another relationship, of any kind, for a few years. I'm currently working towards a career change and I can't allow anything to distract me.

I can tell bullshit when I hear it. Have heard some lately. Walked away.

Having had a few short relationships in the last 5 years (since xh) I realise that the vast majority of available men are so boring. They can sit in silence, have no interesting thoughts whatsoever on various important things. My female friends are all great company. I wouldn't be bothered sharing my house/life with a man unless he was very good company and a man that is very good company is 'highly prized' amongst other women and now in my 40s I don't think it will happen. So it's a good job I'm good at DIY.

I agree with PP, there is a very pleasant drama-free aspect to it. You find an equilibrium and it's not jeopardised. I can't be bothered with sex if I don't feel some sort of connection with the man, and he couldn't fake it.

That's very german isn't it? men sitting down to wee?

I love my dp.
I love having him around all day, for spontaneous hugs and jokes, putting music on that we both like, sharing the household tasks, rolling over in the middle of the night to his lovely warm body :-)

I would hate it if i had to plan to see him.

Stop picking on Bobby peeps!

A nice boyfriend who I can connect to and have great sex with but not live with sounds lovely and not at all sad!

I know not nor care whether any previous partners sat or stood to wee, and all have been pretty clean so it's never occurred to me to apply conditions to their toileting habits

I think you'll feel a million miles high if you learn how to do some of those DIY jobs yourself OP.

OP, there's nothing wrong with you and I feel the same way.

After a long marriage, I dated when I was ready to but found I did not want my life to involve a man to a great extent anymore. I find it hard work and tedious. I'm also pretty set in my ways so I'm no joy to live with either!

I'm happy enough. Most men want more from me though so things fizzle out when I won't commit to that. Meh! No great loss.

Actually I found the idea of Bobby extinguishing the flames of his imaginary fire quite reassuring - nice to know he's pratised the emergency drill. So many people would panic in the event of their toilet seat/curtains catching fire.

Yeh, know what you mean about the planning. A few times now, the tedium of planning has been what made me take stock. It's all new and exciting to plan the next time you meet up, at first, but then after about three months and you still live apart (obviously) then it begins to feel like a chore to meet up, to pay a babysitter to go out.... then you start to think well, even if it is too soon would I want him there ALL the time and if the answer's no, then it is just too much of a chore to continue to arrange dates. You have to love somebody to continue... and there has to be real compatibility there.

The last man I dated, I was crazy about him to begin with, but in the end, he dumped his emotions on me, telling me what I was thinking! I corrected him but he was getting annoyed with me because of what he told me I was thinking so it was good bye.

Kewcumber, why bother with a fire extinguisher and a fire blanket, so long as you have a full bladder in the bed next to you.

kewcumber, it was mademan with the alternative fire drill, not bobby

That was mademan that said that not bobby

OK - Bobby you need to study mademan fire plans. They might come in handy.

Soz Bobby, I was projecting there. I have, to be fair, sat in piss more times than I care to remember, but that's children for you.

Of course you're normal OP, this is the reason why so many women go for married blokes, no commitment.

I get you completely OP, and have the very situation you describe. We don't plan to live together, but are monogamous, and see each other about twice a week.

I literally couldn't bare to live with him, and actually I've come to realise it's not HIM, because he's easy going, tidier than me and wouldn't dream of expecting 'approval' for me doing anything.

Actually it's more I hate myself in 'that kind of relationship'.....always DOING everything, feeling like I should compromise (when he's never expected it) and generally being all 'wifey', so that's for me to sort out really, stop my goddamn codependent ways.

I definitely feel best like this for now. Together but independent and no overlapping finances, properties etc, only really dates when we've not got our dcs. Like being the teenager I never was.

Lady that sound ideal.

Ladyblablah, that's me! Are you me? This is what I've discovered about myself; I would like a man for good conversation, for a bit of romance, to be a father to my kids and for some good sexy times but they are not the same man.

My kids have good fathers, who are excellent dads and parent as well or better than I do, I have male friends who I can have good conversations with. I guess I'm looking for a boyfriend for the romance and the sex without the commmitment. I'm naturally monogamous but I love my space. And, like you, I don't like the person I become when I live with someone else, I am terrible at being a wife.