Am I being too Needy or is this not right?

[AmINeedy]

Hi
I was married for 20 years and divorced 2 years ago and 6 months later met a single man with no children but 3 ex wives and many more ex partners.
He's a lovely man,so funny, always on the go and generally can't sit still, he loves his sport , works hard and away a lot but when home he has to go to the pub every Wednesday,Friday,Sunday as routine and more recently another 2 nights. Some weeks he'll be there 5 nights a week and as I work nights this could mean not seeing each other and no time for us to go out doing other things together as it's pub night or there's a fight or football match in so he goes to the pub to watch it rather than home.
We've been together 18 months and I truly love the bones of this man but I'm finding his way of life difficult to handle, it's restricting our relationship, were not really bonding and to me it's pushing me away instead of getting us closer over time.
Then he plays golf which means when the weather is brighter his weekends are taken up too leaving us zero hours together as those nights Sat and Sun he'll go to the pub after til after midnight.
He said I'm too needy ?
If he's been away for two weeks with work when he gets home that night he'll be with his friends down his local pub not with me though he'll pop over for an hour to say hi then gone.
There's one other issue , no sex in any shape or form , he can't he has erectile dysfunction , we tried when we first met but he felt to embarrassed and brushed it under the carpet and won't discuss it, if I do he gies angry . He went as far as getting Viagra but won't use them.
Put all this together I feel really unwanted but I feel I'm being selfish and after being married so long to a man who visited match.com behind my back I'm worried I'm the problem here?
Just reread my post and I see I do look pathetic .
This man wants us to live together but how can I live in a sexless nit even touching relationship where he'll be at the pub from 8 pm til closing 3-5 times a week ?
I'm really lost ??

Well you know, you can hate the past being blamed for your future as much as you like, but you can't, in all honesty, deny that your past HAS affected your current life and probably your future as well unless you actively change something.

You have become a people pleaser - someone who puts their own feelings, needs and wants at the bottom of the pile because somewhere, you have accepted that they are less important than other people's, the people you care for. Your childhood has taught you that lesson. It's up to you now, as an adult, to decide whether or not it's an appropriate lesson, and one that you should continue to follow, or whether it's a pile of shite (hint: it is) and one that you should ditch and start worrying about yourself!

"Hitting nerves" is usually a massive hint from your unconscious mind that you have unresolved issues that you're keeping under wraps because you don't want to or are scared to address.

Now it's up to you what you do about it - go back to your childhood lesson and continue to conform, or take the adult view that you don't have to put up with this shit and DO something about it.

That's the reason I came on here as the adult not the child, I actively changed my life when I divorced and stood up for myself, I'm doing or did that again by coming here