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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Heard dp having sex.

170 replies

Disgustedandhurt · 28/12/2014 13:01

I received a whatsapp voice message from dps ex on Boxing Day of them having sex I haven't said anything to him yet as I don't know what to do I feel physically sick.

OP posts:
26Point2Miles · 28/12/2014 17:41

Well the footy in the background could be old footage too, proves or disproves nothing really

GingerCuddleMonster · 28/12/2014 17:53

the kit was from about 4 seasons ago and it wasn't exactly a memorable moments game nothing worth re capping a nil nil game Hmm

just trying to point out it could be a old recording

ivykaty44 · 28/12/2014 18:26

I would think about what you want before you tackle your do over this. Would you stay knowing he was unfaithful?

I think you probably know deep down what is happening

Sorry this is happening

anyoldname76 · 28/12/2014 18:32

What a horrible way to let you know. Hope your ok op

MsFriend · 28/12/2014 19:43

Thinking of you. This is def odd x

Haveimiscarried · 28/12/2014 21:12

Hope tonight goes okay OP

Ohfourfoxache · 28/12/2014 21:36

Hope you're ok x Sad

Deserttrek · 28/12/2014 21:39

Thinking of you, OP.
Hope you have the clarity of mind tonight.
See you in a new day.

AlpacaYourThings · 28/12/2014 21:47

Hope you are ok, OP.

JudgeJudy79 · 28/12/2014 22:14

Place marking. Confused
Hope you ok op

Trazzletoes · 28/12/2014 22:30

Hope all is going ok x

BumWad · 28/12/2014 22:35

How awful. Hope you're ok op

Original poster
Disgustedandhurt · 28/12/2014 22:37

Well ive spoken to him and of course he's complety denied it even with me playing him the recording to which he looked shocked at hearing.
He's now packed a bag and gone to stay with a friend which pretty much shows me he's guilty so I'm just sitting here sobbing trying to figure out what to do next I want to go round the exes house but dsd is there and I don't want to hurt or scare her.

OP posts:
cookietrue22 · 28/12/2014 22:40

Are you back home yet OP?

Was it definitely him on the recording?

What a horrible situation. Hope it can be explained.

livingzuid · 28/12/2014 22:41

I'm so sorry OP. Someone with more advice will be along soon just wanted to say in the long run you will be well shot of someone like him. Stay strong. Thanks

Kristingle · 28/12/2014 22:42

I'm so sorry OP

Please resist the urge to go round to Exs house. It won't help things and it will make you feel worse

Do you have a RL friend you coudl call for support ?

cookietrue22 · 28/12/2014 22:42

Sorry. Cross post. Shit. How awful for you. Have some brackets ((hug))

Fairyfellowsmasterstroke · 28/12/2014 22:42

The fact that he's packed a bag and left speaks volumes.

Perhaps his sneaky coniving duplicitious ex has done you a favour. I'm sorry it hurts so much, but he is clearly guilty.

MuttonCadet · 28/12/2014 22:43

So he didn't say it was an old recording?

Are you sure it's him?

I think you need to find out from his ex why she sent that to you, can you call her?

lunar1 · 28/12/2014 22:44

I'm so sorry you are going through this op. I can't imagine why she would send this to you.

Starlightbright1 · 28/12/2014 22:47

Very sorry for your news...

Put blame where it is due..He was committed to you.

I would get some RL support if there is anyone around

wheresthebeach · 28/12/2014 22:48

So sorry OP. Do not call her. It will be horrid and get you nowhere.

She will just enjoy the upset and drama.

Ignore them both. xx

Fallandfly · 28/12/2014 22:50

Sweetheart I am so sorry. Never been in your position but have dealt with a lying ex. He will mimimise it. It only happened once and was probably drunk etc. All of that is irrelevant. You need to decide. What you want and will/will not tolerate. Take contro. Do not let him dictate. It's a crappy time of year but you have the chance to make 2015 what you want it to beFlowers

ProcrastinaRemNunc · 28/12/2014 22:50

Of course he's denied it, of course he has Sad
Mine told me over one thousand lies in denial of his affair. Literally. I counted Blush ...if I hadn't remained firm in my belief, he would easily have had me believing everything but the truth!

Avoid going around to the ows. She is probably entirely prepared for that, may well have support in situ and you will come off worse. Just keep on keeping DSD in mind.

I'm so sorry for you. What is it with these men?! You did nothing to deserve this and I hope you have the strength to keep this ah out of your life. You deserve far better.

GraysAnalogy · 28/12/2014 22:51

OP I'm so so sorry.

Don't even get in touch with her because this is exactly what she wants. This wasn't done by accident. She wanted the drama and for you to be upset. Very malicious and sneaky.

And he is an absolute coward - packing a bag and walking out instead of facing up to what he's done?

Have your cry then get angry. You will be okay OP it's just bloody heartbreaking and hard at first.