Heard dp having sex.

[Disgustedandhurt]

I received a whatsapp voice message from dps ex on Boxing Day of them having sex I haven't said anything to him yet as I don't know what to do I feel physically sick.

"Watch his eyes" - if it were that easy don't you think it would be used by the police, the courts, insurance companies and doctors??

I agree with watching his reaction

I also kinda agree with waswats

I can't think of any reason for someone to do such a thing - unless you were the original ow?

The reason is obvious. She wants OP to know that her dh is cheating on her.

He has probably been lying to them both, making her false promises and she is now sick of it and has had enough. Expose the problem, end the affair.

She is not the one to blame, she is just the messenger. I'm sure she didn't force him to do it.

Vivacia
Well those people do precisely that.
Then they have to go and find the tangible evidence that is required.
But it is most certainly the first step.

Fairenuff, I'm not blaming anyone. I do wonder why that particularly malicious means was used, hence my query regarding whether op may have been the original ow.

What do you mean by tangible evidence and why do you think it's needed?

I can assure you I wasn't the ow beforehand when we me she was in a relationship and we have never had any problems with her I mean apart from the obvious contact issues but that's between them whenever I've seen her granted not very often we have always been polite to each other.
Going home this evening so I wil be asking dp about it

You can hear them talking, then having sex, then talking again? How long is the recording?

It could well be from Xmas day but only if your DP is an absolutely idiot (amongst other things). Letting someone else record you cheating is pretty dumb, and I can't see how she could do it without him knowing..

Agree though play it, see what he has to say about it/his general reaction. How long have you been together? If we are entertaining the idea that it's old, of course it wouldn't be so viable if the recording would have had to be 4 years old. Most people get new phones every few years.

In the context of the police, courts etc....of course tangible evidence is needed.
My point, and others here too have said the same, is that watching someone's initial reaction can give some very clear signals - and it is usually the eyes that give it away or the need to do something out of place with the hands, or sometimes the 'foot shuffle'. It shows a displacement action, to cover up. In OP's case I would be looking for a sense of panic in her partner's eyes.

Dirtybadger, it's very easy to voice record without anyone realising.

Sorry Procrastina I should have said that I didn't mean that you were blaming the ow.

That part of my post was after reading another comment:

The nasty spiteful bitch wants a reaction don't give it to her.

I know that you weren't blaming her.

I just think it's important to point out that OP's focus should be on her dp and what he has done.

to record a voice message via wattsapp you have to hold on the microphone button for the duration of the recording. so that means the ex will have had her phone with her at all times with her finger on the button, while they had a conversation, then had sex then another conversation, and then released the button to send the message? bollocks.

Disgusted, despite my similar experiences, I still find it shocking that people can be so callous, without cause. My query regarding whether you had been the ow was a reflection of that and not of you. I should know better by now.
I'm so sorry that this has happened to you and that you found out in such a shocking way. As I said earlier, I found out by similar means (although the video wasn't sent to me, it was found by me). It is quite indescribable.

If my DP played me a recording of "me" having sex I think my eyes would be full of panic, and my feet would be shuffling.

So in terms of a time scale your partner was there on Thursday, you got the message on Friday and today's Sunday. How long is the recording? What have you been thinking about this for the last 48 hours?

WannaBe could it have been recorded in another way and then uploaded on to WhatsApp? I can record stuff on my phone directly without holding a button down but I don't have in depth knowledge of WhatsApp!

wannabe You can upload a prerecorded sound file to whatsapp.

Procrastina..no offence taken.
Yes to sent a voice note on whatsapp you have to press hold and send but this was a file That had been sent as I said you can hear them talking before so she knew something was going to happen so if it was definitely Christmas day then it probably wasn't the first time.

I just think it's important to point out that OP's focus should be on her dp and what he has done.

Ah, I see Farienuff! It has happened to me twice. On one occasion, I held the ow equally accountable. On the other, I didn't. I do think the individual dynamics and situation dictate culpability but yes, of course the focus should be on the dp, rather that the ow's divulging of the truth, I agree. I suppose in a situation such as this, there truly is no easy way to find out.

I've just gone onto my whatsapp and it won't let you share voice files. Videos and photos, locations and contacts but not voice files. Will only let you take one there and then.

Does mine need updating or something?

So he was with her Xmas day visiting their dd, did he come home (or to where you are spending Xmas ) have you seen him since ? do you have dcs together ? do you live together ?

The longest video you can send is ten seconds.

Ahem