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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sat in bed crying my eyes out

226 replies

SatInBedCrying · 27/12/2014 20:03

Don't even know what just happened, DH has a few friends round for drinks, ive been sat in living room out the way then decided fuck it I'm going to the pub, told dp my plans and he wasn't amused

Anyway as I'm getting my coat on i hear him say "if i knew she was going out i would have got the strippers in" he intended me to hear that, so in a lighthearted way looked into kitchen and said "i heard that" and laughed.

Now ive just spent the last 10 mins being screamed at by DH for "ruining his night" and "showing him up in front of his mates" he's told me he wants nothing more to do with me, i can just fuck off etc

Now ive fucked the pub off, cant go out looking like this, I'm sat in bed crying wondering what the fuck ive actually done to deserve the abuse ive just gotten. I feel humiliated in front of his friends and i haven't even done anything.

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 27/12/2014 20:39

You poor thing, he's bang out of order and being an arse of spectacular proportions. With the way he's being now there's no point engaging with him tonight. I'd suggest packing up the DC who is home and going to stay somewhere else tonight - I wouldn't be able to stay under the same roof, let alone in the same room as someone treating me so badly.

And tomorrow, we'll, if he isn't utterly grovelling at your feet, I'm sorry to say you'll need to think very carefully about the future of your relationship. Flowers

SilenceOfTheSAHMs · 27/12/2014 20:41

Good God OP. He sounds like my ex. Who the lady above (anyfucker) told me very wisely about 3 years ago to get rid of.

What a tosser, waving his cock round in front of his mates like the big I am.

Tiredemma · 27/12/2014 20:42

He sounds like a right knob.

If DP spoke to me like that in front of his mates they would chin him.

SilenceOfTheSAHMs · 27/12/2014 20:42

He actually sounds dangerous :(

Original poster
SatInBedCrying · 27/12/2014 20:43

He's just came again, saying he wont apologize for his behaviour, i was in the wrong, he's done nothing wrong, ive humiliated him, i said he's humiliated me, he replied with yea well my friends don't give a fuck about you, they care about me.

Told me id brought his Christmas to an abrupt end. Honestly I'm shaking with anger

OP posts:
Original poster
SatInBedCrying · 27/12/2014 20:46

I'm absolutely shaking with rage and there's nothing i can do. Not even going to attempt to do anything til tomorrow when he's sober and his friends aren't herr

OP posts:
MrsPepperMintonCandyCane · 27/12/2014 20:47

He isn't going to leave this alone tonight. Can you either get him out or take your DC and go somewhere to sleep?

Original poster
SatInBedCrying · 27/12/2014 20:50

I have nowhere else to go Sad

Didn't want to admit this but when he gets that drunk and angry i can see pure rage on his face and he scares me. Ive told him before and was called a drama queen

He also told me when he came up that i "revel in misery" ??? I was quite fucking happy til he kicked off

OP posts:
Timetoask · 27/12/2014 20:51

If he bothers you again, best is to tell him very calmly (I know it will be difficult to keep you cool but it's important) that you will talk to him when he is sober.

AnnieLobeseder · 27/12/2014 20:51

Well, sounds like this prince amongst men is going to find himself starting the new year without a wife or any mates.

I really think you should get out for tonight, OP, while his mates are there to stop him if he gets violent. Call the police if he tries to stop you.

TerrifiedMothertobe · 27/12/2014 20:52

I don't get it. He sounds like a prick.

AnnieLobeseder · 27/12/2014 20:52

Go to a hotel if you can, or the relative where your other DC is.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 27/12/2014 20:53

He is goading you into reacting. If he won't leave then you should, with your child. This will escalate.

MrsPepperMintonCandyCane · 27/12/2014 20:56

Oh lovely that's not how it should be. He sounds like you've had problems in the past with anger and drink? You need to be safe.

HamPortCourt · 27/12/2014 20:56

OP I agree you need to get out so you can think clearly. Do you have a credit card? Just call a cab or drive to a hotel.

Rebecca2014 · 27/12/2014 20:56

You do realize he is enjoying this? he must be getting a big power kick. But do not engage him as that will escalate the argument. Just ignore him and try and keep safe.

TheCatsWhisker · 27/12/2014 20:57

His behaviour sounds completely unreasonable. I have been spoken to by an ex-partner in this way before and never gave him the opportunity to do it again. Also, drink is no excuse, you should never be made to feel this way.

Original poster
SatInBedCrying · 27/12/2014 20:58

I refuse to leave my own home, i have nowhere to go, no money the relative is HIS relative and will be in bed by now, plus i don't want to drive in this state and she lived 20 miles away.

He goes tomorrow. He has to after this. I will have to quit my job and will have no car and probably no sofa as they are his and he pays finance on them. But he has to go

OP posts:
RoastitBubblyJocks · 27/12/2014 20:59

Oh my God, OP Shock His treatment of you is SHOCKING. Absolutely disgusting.

It's your last chance?!?! Are you his child? You need to boot him out, pronto. This man has no respect for you. Take back some control of your own life

RoastitBubblyJocks · 27/12/2014 20:59

Oh my God, OP Shock His treatment of you is SHOCKING. Absolutely disgusting.

It's your last chance?!?! Are you his child? You need to boot him out, pronto. This man has no respect for you. Take back some control of your own life

Dowser · 27/12/2014 21:01

Oh dear. Just horrible.

There's no going back now love.

Onwards and upwards.

This excuse for a man will not I prove with age.

I'd want him out pronto.

If he does this in front of people what will he do when there's only the two of you.

Do you not know any heavies who will heave the lot out for you and change the locks.

MrsPepperMintonCandyCane · 27/12/2014 21:01

You're right he does need to go. Dont talk to him anymore if he comes up and please call the police of you need to. If he escalates this more.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 27/12/2014 21:02

Please keep safe op.

Keep your phone by your side.

BuzzardBirdRoast · 27/12/2014 21:03

Sleep in your son's room and keep your phone on you.

Original poster
SatInBedCrying · 27/12/2014 21:05

You know what, i actually hate him

And you know another thing? When he gets pissed he seems to really hate me aswell, seems to be some sort of resentment there that comes out when he's pissed. But tonight has been unbelievable, ive told him before that my stepdad was an abusive alcoholic and that i wont put up with it like my mother did, he has to fucking go

OP posts: