Alone and pregnant

[Natalie12341]

Am 25 weeks pregnant and I split with my boyfriend 12 days ago. And am a complete mess. Am struggling to eat some days I feel ok then bang am a complete mess. He says he will support me. But everytime I message him he never replys which makes me feel even worse.. I had hospital appointments last week he didn't show. We planned a lovely Christmas together so Christmas was quite hard for me.. I have an 8 year old son from a previous r/ship he hasn't really picked up on anything. But am just really struggling. He never texts or rings to ask how I am how can someone that loved me just totally blank me. Never have I felt pain like it. It's affecting my blood pressure and I feel like am always wanting to no what he's doing ect I feel like I will crack up if I carry on.,. It's making me depressed and I just don't no what to do please help

Good! I'm glad you didn't.

But remember that it isn't about not giving him the satisfaction of you texting him. It's about the fact that he no longer cares in the first place.

When I had my bad breakup years ago, that was a hard thing for me to accept but it was therapeutic when I did. He wouldn't have gotten any 'satisfaction' if I had called him because he truly didn't care if I called him or not.

Morning natalie, sorry I've not be around for last couple of days, they've been a bit hectic!
You are doing bloody brilliantly, the book sounds like a great idea.
You mentioned help for stuff for your house. Not sure if it's nationwide or not but there is a charity called 'Helping Hands' that helps people setting up homes, I'll come back shortly, I'm going to try and find contact details for you.

Just checked and it looks like it is a local charity so probably no good for you although I'm sure there must be similar charities in your area.

Just a thought, but if you are on benefits and have been claiming for at least 6 months you can apply for a loan from the social fund. They give loans up to £1500, you can find out more on gov.uk website. Apply for the whole amount and they then decide what you can afford to pay back and take it out of your benefits. You don't normally get the whole amount but you might as well apply for the full £1500, they may decide to give you £1200 of it.

Yeah I no what you mean. He must care am carrying his child. And from going from loving someone to then saying he dosent! :/ but am feeling strong today not contacting him again today x

I had 1 before Christmas and I gave him some of the money to help him out stupidly!! So will not be able to get 1 yet xxx

Helping hands I've seen it in Facebook before I've gave stuff away on it before but am no longer on Facebook because if am on there I will end up lookin him up am not strong anuff yet to be on there xx

Yes, probably best not to go back on Facebook just yet. Speak to your midwife about any help your entitled to, they are usually really helpful, mine gave me a list of charities I could access help from.

Glad you still feeling strong and not contacting him.

He's messaged me today sayin a letter has gone to his from the hospital for me. He's also said he will be at my mams on Thursday to pick me up for my appointment for the hospital which is for 9. :/ we will just see if he turns up am not messaging him again. He asked f he could open my letter I said no I will get it off him at a later date he's nt opened the message I think e just likes getting the last word. Then doesn't reply! Am not bothered because am feeling strong today just missing my son a lot as it's his first day back at school so abit emotional when I think about him must be my hormones xx

I slipped this morning on the ice and hurt my back I will be black and blue tomorrow. I haven't een checked out but baby has moved a little since then so she must be ok mustn't she xx

Have you given your doctor and hospital your new contact details?

Is there any reason you will be at your mother's house on Thursday? If the plan is her to go with you, why don't you meet there? I certainly wouldn't be where he expected you to be.

I would tell him you don't need him to take you for your appt and make other arrangements. Have someone go with you in case he shows up.

Have him either post the letter on to you or drop it by your mam's.

I'd go and get checked out anyway if you had a fall. They wouldn't turn you away they'll be happy to give you a once over for your own peace of mind

I'd tell him not come as others have said, it will only mess with your head again, take control and tell him you don't want him to come. Tell him to post the letter to you and then make sure all correspondence goes to your correct address in future.
It might be best to get yourself checked after your fall, I'm sure everything is fine but always best to be on the safe side.

Yeah I understand am actually staying with my mam at the minute she's taking my son to school on Thursday so I will be goig by my self the hospital is about an hours bus ride away so I will have to leave before 8 am. Am ok I think I go more of a fright. This morning. It's obs not my day today I've just nearly been ran other by a driver that was to busy on his phone and came into the path god I nearly went into labour with the shock I only went to pick my son up from his school! It's all happening to me today ladies xxx

Idiots on the phone when driving, that really winds me up, glad you are ok.

I think you'd better spend the rest of the day tucked up in bed!

Natalie, please try to think of someone else to go to the hospital with on Thursday. It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen if you go together. It would be so stressful for you. Can't a friend or relative possible take you? Even going alone would be better. If you go together you will have to talk and all your resolutions will fly away. Stay No Contact. And make sure the hospital send everything to your new address.

Re smoking, so well done for quitting. You say 'how can I stop now?' Well, the reason to stop now is the same as why you stopped before- your daughter. (And your own health). Even small amounts so smoking are harmful and especially with your other health conditions it really does matter, for both of you. Go on, you can do it. It could also improve your appetite. Looking after yourself is, as a parent, a part of looking after your dc. Preach over

Re help with stuff for your home, do speak to your HV and have a local google, too. Most such schemes are local we have some brilliant ones here. Most will need a referral from SW or Hv etc. also have a look at Freecycle, lots of stuff for free that just needs collecting. Look at small ads for very cheap bits. Lots of people will pretty much give stuff away if they need the space. It can be real fun tracking things down and it's very fashionable, think Kirsty's Recycled Home type programme.

Well done for being so positive. More support could come from your HV and mw if you ask.x

Am at the doctors on Wednesday I have a routine appointment with my doctor every month with my having a heart cond. I am going to talk to her and he's also said he wants the midwife to come to his next week for my appointment!? I just blanked him!? And the reason am at the hospital for a glucose tolerance test I don't understand why they want me to! But am still in a size 8 clothes :/ and I don't eat much and am going to try and get a friend to come with me but everyone's normally on the school run at that time. My mam dosent want me to go alone just incase I collapse with the heart cond I have I collapse quite a lot and obs more now as there's more pressure on my heart xxx

Is there any chance of getting your appointment moved to later so that your mam can go with you? If you explain that you need someone with you and can't make an early appointment they may be able to slot you in later in the day.
He's a cheeky bastard asking for the midwife to go to his, he decided to walk therefore he lost the right to any involvement, you are right to ignore him. What a tosser.

I walked out on him I told him I was leaving because his mam moved in and made my life hell I was crying everyday so I wasn't any joy to be round. It's a big house and I cleaned everyday and she would do everything to just mess the place up I was told t my last scan I had to rest and not do a thing as they fought I was in labour so I got back home the house was upside down she didn't offer to help me. I had my son to pick up from school he was working away at the time. But she looked down her nose at me all the time. Nothig was ever good anuff and this day I phoned him and said I was leavig I just couldn't take it anymore. He came back tryed to stop me I told him it was only for a couple of days then when I had left he said I for love you no more it was all my fault ect then he finished with me. I was under so much pressure it was horrible I don't regret leavin because if I hadn't I think now where would I have been?! But he's just changed and blamed me for everything and makes out he's there for me ect to other people. I do feel so much stronger tonight I've been to ju-jitsu with my son and I've been talking to my friend there and it's amazing what getting things off your chest and talking about things really can do xxx

Still going strong

Good going Natalie

What are your arrangements for contact between you and the baby's father? It sounds to me as if there's been quite a bit of communication, what with that letter going to his house.

good girl keep it up

Well he still hasn't posted me the letter! And am not messaging him to tell him! I felt so strong and now am startin to doubt my self once again I don't no if it's because am tired! :/ there's ment to be no contact I promised my self I wouldn't message him back! Everytime I do think about him it just really pisses me off! I need all contacted stopped!!! And it's making me mad that am still thinking about this waste of space!!! What the hell is wrong with me!! The way he has treated me my son and our baby! Other Christmas he's a heartless cunt!!!!! My love is turning into hate!!!! Xx