The Dating Thread 84.

[MadeMan]

Well, fancy seeing you here.

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

Rioux Still seeing MT and meeting his children Saturday. Did briefly chat to a very interesting man on OK, he asked me out for a drink. I told him I would of but I am in early stages of dating and don't want to double date. Cancelled ok cupid profile now.
Kinder Stalker, details :)

wrap Doesn't reach out to never married women, why ? What's wrong with women who have never been married. I regret getting married and still need to get divorce sorted out.
polly he's probably very eager to keep you interested, but its better not to invest too much messaging before FTF meeting.

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

Jesy I think there's no harm sticking with it especially if you like him and can see positives in his personality. You can tell alot about a person from how they treat animals, I prefer to date men who have had children.
I'm sticking with MT and not going to date or look around, he's not. He's still very caring and complimenting me daily, But it could all fizzle out.

[jesy]

Gotta

He got kids both teenagers, and he'll be a grandad soon.
Itssounds so silly but when I first went to his house my heart sort of went all mushy as the dog big toy box , he cooks him fresh food and even takes him to work , sorry I'm daft about dogs.

I once went back to the same spot for a month on a sat am in hope of meeting this same bloke again , as my dog liked him but never saw him again.

[RaspberryBeret34]

Polly I've known him a month, seen eachother 8 times but all of those except first date have been overnights - just felt very good and comfortable together so we've had lots of very long dates (and not slept much, partly just cuddling and talking...).

[YourHandInMyHand]

vintage We were meant to be on date 2 on wednesday but I had to cancel. Told him am happy to reaarrange a sitter for another night and to let me know when he is free next week and got reply of well am busy this weekend. I knew that that's why I said next week. We do both have busy lives but am a bit narked he hasn't been more keen. Am just going to leave it now and if he wants date 2 he can chase for it.

wrap - why does he never bother with women who haven't been married? How old is he? I've never been married and TBH I think that makes me rather wise . Seems an odd criteria to me these days as couples are often together a long time without marriage.

jesy - I agree about the animal/pet theory

[SuperFlyHigh]

This thread moves SO fast and a few new posters so welcome to them.

gotta I have to say (this is going from friends with kids) its very early for MT to be introducing you to his kids - normally there's a 6 month benchmark! but I hope it goes well.

I got a message yesterday or day before from some man who thinks I'm the best looking woman on the site (Smooch) and then went on about looks etc... so offputting.

Got lunch date with Mr Darkside - texting more yesterday I think he rang me then we texted - all good but he kept on wanting to text when I was watching TV etc which is great when you're into that but after last time with MSBE I don't want it to be lots of texts and full on.

jesy haven't read the last 2 pages but this man sounds nice and what you said about animals and him not being bad if he likes them I sort of agree with too (though MSBE had a cat who I met, ha ha!).

[SuperFlyHigh]

Raspberry if you really like this man then talk to him about this, but I'd say go into it with eyes wide open - don't let yourself be fooled by the fact that he is probably looking for other women - and not in the fact that he logs onto the site to read messages (that's fine) but the fact he's put a new photo up - which is obv to attract new women!

[Blossomflowers]

Jesy I think you are too nice.

Morning all. MR L texted me last night to say he is picking me up @ 8 and really looking forward to seeing me again. Am feeling a bit nervous keep thinking he is going to cancel. Managed to arrange DS to stay at his dads tonight, so guess he knows I am going out, not said anything yet.

[SuperFlyHigh]

blossom - good morning but good luck for later with Mr L!

I wouldn't worry about your DS... if he knows you're out it could be with anyone.

friends I know who have DC and date - their DC are on the whole happy for them to date and be in a relationship and happy, as long as they (the DC) are happy and treated well by the new partner.

[jesy]

Blossom

Trust me when I want to be I can be a nasty bitch , who fights for what I have to.
Lol

Sometimes this think I come across as a daft bimbo or miss snow white lol

[vintagecrap]

Literally just leaving :)

Just wanted to say, on the kids thing, ive read a lot and there are two schools of though, that you wait a long time, like 6 months, so you know its a solid relationship, but of course you then run the risk, that if your partner doesnt get on with your children, or fit in with your family life, that you have some difficult choices to make.
or, the second one that you meet after a short while, but just on a ' friend' basis, as you wouldnt keep friends away from your children. Also then they get the chance to build a relationship and you can see if it would work or not.

DD had been introduced to two boyfriends in 6 years. One at 3 months and then i dumped him 2 weeks later and the other at just shy of 2 months and i dumped him at just under 4 months but knew i was going to dump him a good few weeks before that.

Going forward, for me, 3 months is the time where i usually know if its a goer or not, so that will be my minimum time frame.

I also wouldnt like to meet someone elses children for the same reasons.

[Blossomflowers]

Super DS knows I am going on a date, was referring to X knowing. lol

[RaspberryBeret34]

Blossom - I'm excited for you! That's nice he's picking you up and text saying he's looking foward to seeing you. Hope your DS doesn't mention it to your ex but maybe no bad thing for your ex to know you're dating.

vintage - how was your date? I agree with your "2 schools of thought on kids" thing. I go generally with the second but only because my DS is so little and I need to make sure the guy can deal with mummy-me as well as woman-me and just generally see how he responds to 2yo stuff! I also agree with the 3 month thing - my DS has met 2 guys (one after a couple of months) but as he gets older I'll probably revise to 3 month rule.

Rioux - I see what you mean about using the kids as leverege. It is handy though to see how they interact so I'm a bit on the fence. Hope your stalker issue gets resolved OK.

super - thanks, I do really like him but only the person I thought he was, if he isn't that person then I don't know him at all and won't mind (too much) cutting ties. I will hopefully speak to him tonight and update. I do think it is worth a conversation and I want to conduct myself in a decent way (ie speak to him like an adult) even if it turns out he is not! But yes, I can't see how we can go forward... my ex H cheated so I can't take any shit early on. Good luck with the lunch date. I agree - soooo offputting when men go on about looks!

Jesy - he sounds nice and good that he likes animals :). I think it is fine to give him another chance in those circs.

[Wrapdress]

Re: my guy who doesn't like the "never married" - we are both in our 50s. I don't know what the issue is with never being married. I intend to ask him when we meet. He's divorced. He thought I was "never married - no kids" but I do have an adult son. That seemed to make it better for him. I have heard other men say they are wary of older never married women - maybe they think there is something seriously wrong with us? I don't know.

[HanselandGretle]

Wrapdress , I can kind of relate to this as I being a parent myself I'm wary of dating men who have never been in long term relationships and / or over 40 or so with no kids. It's about not feeling there might be a lot of common ground, they have never had to prioritize kids needs above their own etc. Also, there is a sense of is there something 'wrong', (committment phobic or just socially inept, whatever) with them, for want of a better word. I recently had a guy interested, late thirties, no kids - that would have been a maybe on it's own, but what put me off was his longest relationship was under a year. I just couldn't relate to that and concluded, rightly or wrongly, that there must be something amiss about him.

[jesy]

Had a text this am ( my number on fb never realised )
From my ex bf best mate, asking if I was still going to the bbq / wedding reception .
I'd forgot about it and he said saying come on n keep me company .

It's all paid for , including hotel room by parents I've said ill think about it lol

[Blossomflowers]

Wrap I often get raised eyebrows when I say I have never married, I suppose maybe they think we have commitment issues. Despite the fact I had a 22 year relationship.

[HanselandGretle]

The 'never married' part though is odd, that wouldn't bother me if someone older had never tied the knot. Good that you're going to ask what he meant wrapdress. My guess is they equate 'never married' with 'too independent and wouldn't be available to cook me bacon and eggs in bed'

[GinAndSonic]

Right, well im meeting Mr Tattoo on monday lunchtime for a cuppa, then CSG on saturday evening.
God, i hope i remember their names correctly!

[Blossomflowers]

God today is dragging. Roll on tonight. This is crazy to be so edgy about a date, normally I don't bat an eye lid.

[Hissy]

I too have a date. MrPerfectForMe (he got promoted ) He's crazy about me too and we are making plans to be with each other full stop.

co-family outing being planned, maybe a holiday this year, but neither one of us can stand to be apart.

This. Is. It.

[Blossomflowers]

Hissy wow fantastic. How long have you been seeing each other. I wish I was in your position

[Docmartensanddungarees]

Oh Hissy, that is such great news! Good for you. Gives me hope that my current interest is worth waiting for.

Blossom, good luck for tonight! Same to everyone else who has a date coming up.

Jesy, make sure the dog guy treats you with respect going forward. It's ok to say, in a non confrontational way, that he cannot keep standing you up. Just say he needs to send a text one hour before you're due to meet in future. If he doesn't text, you'll assume he's too busy and won't waste your time making the journey.