The Dating Thread 84.

[MadeMan]

Well, fancy seeing you here.

gotta quite apart from the love bombing he sounds very shallow.

Gotta, I do agree with people who say trust your instincts. If I am honest, I knew with my ex that it wasn't right after 4 months, but I ignored them as I wanted it to be right. Would have been better to have listened to them.

Break out, that sounds really annoying. Having said that, I an be rubbish at responding to texts. I plug my phone in at about 7 and often don't check it again until morning. I like switching off.

Dippin, yes, that is exactly how I feel!

Vintage, one is sat and one is Monday. My friend is babysitting sat and mum Monday as she is up in london (not that she knows it yet!). Definitely have a wild, passionate fling with the dark haired kurt cobain!

Do you like mr lotus blossom?

polly we had one date last year and really liked him but timing was bad. He got in touch before Xmas and loads of texts, have agreed to see him Friday

Finding things quite slow going at the moment. Initially I was choosing from the people who approached me, but now trying to be more active winking and sending messages. When you've messaged men have you generally gotten a response?

Break, it's horrible not knowing isn't it? Same thing happened to me recently when I had a date with someone who blew my mind and didn't contact me again. I got fed up so contacted him, we did see each other for a short while but he's disappeared now and I was gutted. Oh well that's the nature of OLD.

Match has been pants but I am meeting someone for a coffee date, next week. Not excited but there isn't many rich pickings so might as well give it an hour and see.

Dolly, I've generally just favourited men rather than message them although I've messaged one or two. I'd say response about 30-40%? (Messaging and favouriting). I got fed up of illiterate messages on Pof so favourited a load who I knew fitted the basics!

gin yay! Good luck :).

blossom great on mr lotus date.

I had lovely phone conv with mr T, then did quite a bit of texting. He's been ill as well as family issues but plan is for him to come round tomorrow if he feels better or thurs :).

5 hour Skype date. Sparking all over the place.

No mention of meeting up. Hmm.

Helena I think MT is just a sexual chemistry thing at the moment, I am not thinking of myself as his girlfriend, he's wanted me to be. I won't let myself imagine a future relationship with MT, will see how it develops and if I come across anything I feel uncomfortable with then I will be out.
Don't think he's got a good filter and just comes out with stuff. Been on 7 dates and have a lunch date today.
Not sure if he's shallow or insecure, going to spend weekend with him, I think I will have a clearer opinion after.

BlossomMr Lotus sounds like a plan for the new year :)
Gin Enjoy your cuppa next week, I prefer meeting for a coffee than evening drinks. Minds less clouded without booze, less likely to dtd on a caffeine buzz.
VintageMarathon skype, no awkward silences then :)
Dolly Like Raspberry, I favourite men I like and let them decide if I'm their type. I never look at who viewed me, no point in seeing who passed me over. Think men are more rigid about a type regarding looks.

Hi all, quick bit of advice needed then I'll catch up properly on the thread which has exploded since I last checked it!!

So mr F and I have now been on 4 dates. The most recent was at the weekend, just a coffee date. He generally texts regularly, seems keen etc but doesn't make frequent plans, although he does make plans but leaves it a little while. We've done a lot of kissing and that's it so far.

I was going to text him on Monday night and ask when he was next free as he's been the instigator for the last two dates and mentioned seeing me again last time I saw him, but in more of a, 'well when I see you next' kind of way rather than an actual arrangement.

However he didn't respond to my last text on Monday which is kind of unusual and I didn't hear from him yesterday. Do I look a bit desperate if I drop him another text today? Or should I wait it out?

Tortilla I personally would let him get back to me, especially if I texted last. If he's been too busy to get back to you, then he will do so and acknowledge that its a late response due to...
I hate texting, wires can get crossed and things under or over expressed, but generally men will text if interested.

Tortilla Another thing with communication with text, if I'm feeling moody, tired or low then I am less enthusiastic to text or can't be bothered. Its not that I don't like the person just not in the right headspace. I have actually used excuses like I'm off to bed early or unwell to get out of texting. But never ignored a text.
Men probably do a similar thing if stressed with work or tired.
But I would never chase a man or keep texting him if he's not got back to my Last message because I'm worth the effort and if he wants to see me he's going to have to put in the effort.

tortilla there is the slight possibility he didn't get the text ! I sent my mum 2 texts over the weekend and she didn't get them , I've even checked her phone.
vintage 5 hours ... wow

Sorry this has been a bit late...

Really - time-wise what I'd expect from a man is to be available weekends and weekday evenings (not all of them of course!) - men with children and when they can see them (if separated/divorced etc) of course this is different and also if they work weekends. But as I don't work weekends would prefer them to be around then.

Gotta I wouldn't normally date 2 men at once either (especially if having sex!).

I now have another dilemma - sent MSBE a good morning and how are you text today. No reply yet but he's back at work after Christmas break and is a builder so if he's driving etc I wouldn't expect a reply. I know this sounds really stupid but I can be quite sarcastic and send texts to draw a line under things (especially as I've met him twice and DTD) or to get clarification. Worth doing the latter or should I just ignore? It's so weird, he was talking about seeing me again, texting me again, lifts to where I live etc... very strange.

Mr Darkside asked me to text him rather than email on site (as driving) so I texted and no reply, at all! what happened there?

I'll also reply now to the most recent page!

I agree with what HelenaDove says re lovebombing and shallow. Still unsure Helena why you're here.... but relationship advice is always good or not...

PollyIndia - yes instincts are good to trust sometimes (with Kent Lad) they say stuff at the beginning (he wanted to meet someone in London he could see during the week) and you think and they say, it'll change...

everyone with dates - Gin&Tonic Blossom and Arrowminta - good luck with it.

Rapsberry - your phone convo sounds nice, I know what you mean about ill, I've been ill with bad cold/throat infection and if you want to flirt it's no good if you feel rubbish, really puts dampers on it for me...

Tortillas - yes I'd do as Gotta says and let the man get back to you re text I agree with what Gotta says and if they're tired etc they can forget to respond but I find generally that if a man is interested then they text whatever, even if to say they're tired, ill with man flu, wrestling a crocodile etc....

dippin I agree with what you say re texts and not getting them, I then suggest a 1-2 day gap (because that's when they come through) and if not heard then ignore or ask what's up... men also check things like internet dating sites (where you met them) and can reply then, I heard ages ago that if a man wants to contact you and can't (eg text) he will find a way, element of truth to this? I don't know...

Morning all, well date still on for tonight, think I will call him MR Sports. have had a couple of texts this morning, seems very keen.
Have nice texts from MR Lotus, has to hire a car to see me on Friday for our date as his is off the road, that's what happens when you drive a Lotus lol.
Am being very good with NC with X, had to text him this morning as DS of sick again and does not need picking up, also used this opportunity to ask about missing maintenance payment.

Breakfast date set for Friday.

Should I not fizzle myself into a frenzy by then.

Blossom good luck with the date for later, Lotus driving man - and here was me thinking lotus flowers and some zen Buddhist type man!

Vintage - breakfast date sounds good - not sure I could do that as I am barely awake in the mornings let alone to sparkle and sound interesting....

No word from MSBE - I think I will knock that on the head, he could text in a break, lunch etc.

Mr Darkside sent me a nice message apparently he missed a digit off his number so I need to text again.

One man (not sure of nickname) who's been messaging me for ages, badgering for a date finally messaged me again, when I did reply got a 'viewing your profile' but no message. hmmm

Mr dog asked to see my tomorrow , glad we rearranged it as not having a Good day.
Nothing dating just home life.

Went out earlier and my mates hubby was perving at me he has a lovely wife so why.

Chatted to a great guy yesterday , shame he two far away , especially as he gorgeous lol

Vintage Good luck, like super I would completely rubbish on a Breakfast date, am a real night Owl
Jesy How far is too far? and good luck with your date
super Ha ha re Lotus.
I am in touch with far too many men right now and getting myself confused

It's just it's my day off, he has no work that day.
Why not.
Easier for me and I have a chunk of childfree hours without needing a babysitter.

He doesn't work to any kind of time schedule, we nearly has breakfast this morning.

He two hours away , it's ok he not been chatty today anyway x

Jesy Finding someone local would be amazing but I becoming more flexible as I am so damm fussy, saying that tonight's date is only 15 miles away, think that is one of the closest person I have ever dated.

Had lunch with MT, he mentioned that I don't say the L word. I told him he needs to be patient and let me get my head around stuff. He apologised but it got me a little annoyed. I said I understand his passionate but I don't always shout about my feelings. He will have to deal with the way I am, we are just getting to know each other. I do like him though, he's treated me so much better in the small amount of time together than my ex did in the last eight years.
Its hard all this new beginning bit of getting to know someone especially when they are so full on.

gotta That would annoy me to, saying you love someone must come naturally. We are the same I think where our X and made us extremely wary of showing our emotions. Not sure you can be in love with someone after what a month? or do I have my timings wrong.