Inappropriate photos of son *possible trigger*

[Letmeeatcakecakecake]

Omg I'm in shock.

I'm not with my sons father. My son is 5.

He just casually told me that his daddy took a picture of his butt and sent it to someone.

I asked him how he was standing and he showed me that he was laying on his back with his knees drawn to his chest and his anus exposed.

I'm shaking and in shock. What do I do? Shall I report it to the police?

[Letmeeatcakecakecake]

He's currently on the floor painting and I'm sitting here absolute glued to my phone waiting for the police to call and distracting myself from asking him any further questions.

He said it in front of my mum and dad and I managed to get him home from there shortly after to get away from my mum, so they know and I've told my partner as I'm in shock

[3littlebadgers]

Hopefully it will be as soon as possible, as others have said please try to keep him away from his father and once again well done you, it is awful that you are going through this but your DS is fortunate to have a mummy to look out for him and protect him the way you are doing. I hope it turns out well for you both.

[Micah]

I'd phone your mum and dad and tell them the police are involved and they're not to discuss it with anyone, especially your son, so as not to compromise evidence.

The more people know the more chance it gets back to him...

[3littlebadgers]

Do you think it might be worth having a word to your patents to ensure they don't mention it to anyone until the police have done their thing?

[KatieKaye]

you've done the right thing.
hope you hear soon

[TheTravellingLemon]

I'm sorry Letme. I would try to see someone sooner than 48 if possible, for your own sanity if nothing else. I'm no expert, but I believe that NSPCC can often help hurry things along.

[Starlightbright1]

Thank goodness he has you as a mum.. I can't imagine how you must feel but you are doing all the right things

[CurlyLocks87]

Just wanted to say thinking of you just now. What a horrible situation to be in

[ItIsSmallerOnTheOutside]

Well done for reporting it. You sound like a wonderful mum and sounds like you're handling it with your son in the best way possible. I get why you're angry at your own mum but I suppose she wasn't thinking properly. Sorry that you're in this situation at all op.

[grumpyoldgitagain]

Earlier in the thread you said you whatsapped and it didn't deliver

Do you mean you whatsapped asking the photo taker If he had done this ?

I don't think deleting it off your phone even if it didn't deliver will get if off the server (although could be wrong) so it may deliver to him later on

I would ring back the police with the reference number and say that and ask if it does deliver will he have chance to destroy evidence on phone computer etc if he works out you have reported it and if so can they get someone out sooner to you for a statement and arrest him on suspicion before he gets chance

[KeeperOfBees]

You are handling this very well. My EXDH once held DS up in the air naked and shouted for his friends to look at how big DS willy was. I have never left them alone since in 4 years.

[MrsRaegan]

Regarding whatsapp, if you sent message but deleted it before any ticks appeared on message then he won't get it.

Well done you, your doing everything right. I hope police get back to you soon x

[Hoggle246]

I'm so sorry, this is truly awful. Just wanted to reiterate that you're doing the right thing and I really admire you for holding back from asking your ds more at this stage. I imagine that must be very hard for you but you're putting his welfare first and that's the main thing.

I hope you and ds are ok.

[YonicSleighdriver]

When the police come, do tell them about your DS flashing you as it may be part of a linked pattern.

[Letmeeatcakecakecake]

I text my mum asking her to not repeat it to anyone as its being reported and her response was

' dont jump to conclusions like that!!! You need to speak to openly and directly about why would say that and demand an explanation'

Thank goodness nothing like this ever happened to me as a child. Nice to know my mother would have just discussed it with the accused!!!!!!!

[Redglitter]

The NSPCC will either tell the OP to call the police or they will on her behalf. One way or the other it won't speed things up though. Reporting it was without question the right thing to do & the police will get back to you re what happens next

[Baliali31]

This will be passed onto Public Protection Unit ASAP. So sorry for you

[DontGotoRoehamptonUniversity]

OP, you have handled this so well - really impressed - your DS a very lucky boy to have you as his mum.

[LittleRedRidingHoodie]

Sorry but your mums attitude is really ignorant and dangerous. Do you think there is ANY chance she or her partner could say something to your ex? If so, you need to out a stop to any ideas she has about that. It's naive of her to think it's only weirdos etc who do this kind of thing and that he 'deserves a chance' to explain more than your son deserves to be protected.

I'm concerned that you've not heard back from the police already. Is there any chance you could get to a police station and speak to someone?

[cupofteaandbiscuit]

Well done you for reporting and handling this so well.

[LittleRedRidingHoodie]

Also, if your son is going to school please alert their safeguarding officer (usually the head or senco) about what you have found out. Forbid them from letting your son be collected by your ex. They may have other comments recorded on your sons file than seem minor and maybe haven't mentioned to you (maybe flashing etc) that could help the police form part of a picture. Schools are trained to record anything of any concern at all, even tiny things, just in case they help form a bigger picture. They may also have pastoral support that you and/or your son could access should you need support now or at any point further down the line.

[ItIsSmallerOnTheOutside]

Your mum's reaction on the phone does not sound good. Can you be sure she will not contact your ex?

[Redglitter]

Littleredriding The police may not be in touch til tomorrow. A situation like this isn't appropriate for a patrol car and 2 uniform cops to deal with. A child of 5 needs to be spoken to by specially trained officers. He's safe with his mum at the moment so he's in no danger.

The police will deal with this the best possible way which isn't necessarily the fastest