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Original poster

Being called a miltf, would you be insulted?

188 replies

gottafindaman4yagirl · 08/12/2014 12:19

Was called a miltf by a younger guy who I had one date with. I found it insulting and told him so.
Would anyone be flattered? Seems like a teenager thing to say and not a 26 yr old man and not respectful.

OP posts:
dementedma · 08/12/2014 21:01

I'm 50. Being referred to as a MiLf made my day!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 08/12/2014 21:06

sigh

Ragwort · 08/12/2014 21:09

It doesn't have to be interpreted at face value, it just means an attractive older lady. You need to get a sense of humor and stop taking everything at fdace value. Life doesn't have to be so serious.

Jakesmith are you serious - this thread has shocked me more than many on Mumsnet in the last 14 years since I have been addicted to on it.

Am I on a different universe to some of you? Do you really think it is acceptable to speak to/text/whatever a woman in this way? I have a teenage son and I would be mortified if he used that sort of language.

If that makes me want to be at a vicar's tea party then yes, that is what I would like to do. I have had loads of dates sex in my time but never, ever been referred to in such a derogatory manner.

CogitOIOIO · 08/12/2014 22:43

'He messages like he's a different person'

There's probably an entire branch of psychiatry devoted to exploring the way seemingly nice normal people reveal themselves to be complete morons through the medium of text, twitter and FB. Like in vino veritas ..... only digital

Original poster
gottafindaman4yagirl · 08/12/2014 22:44

I'm not the kind of woman that needs to be told i am fit for sex, I also believe in bringing my two boys up to be respectful to women and other people in general.
I didn't expect this thread to get much response and thought maybe I had a kneejerk reaction.
We all have different standards and I wouldn't judge a older woman who got confidence from being called a milf.

OP posts:
NoRoomAtTheGin · 08/12/2014 23:00

How about calling them a BILTA

Bloke Id Like To Avoid. Let him Google that when he got home

Riverland · 09/12/2014 00:09

Grin I luff bilta and will use it from now on!

Tobyjugg · 09/12/2014 02:08

Come on. let's cut the poor little devil some slack. He's a stupid immature little twat to be sure, but he probably meant it as a compliment. Now he's lost the chance of a second date with someone he clearly fancies and is up shit creek without a paddle.

Tobyjugg · 09/12/2014 02:20

The bit about relieving himself was way, way more out of line in my view. Now that was insulting and totally out of order.

As I said, an immature twat

[Sorry clicked "post" too early]

dirtybadger · 09/12/2014 02:34

OP I read one of your posts on the dating thread about a guy sending texts about running you a bath. Is it the same one? Because that was also sufficiently creepy to be ditching him...

JapaneseMargaret · 09/12/2014 04:32

The kind of person who would find being called a MILF a compliment, is probably also the kind of person who'd think being wolf-whistled is a compliment.

I'm afraid in lump both types into the same category - low self-esteem, desperately low standards in men, and not often on the receiving end of genuine admiration and flattery from decent, likeable men.

JimmyChoosChimichanga · 09/12/2014 07:37

I'm a bit 50/50 about the MILF thing (but do think he is a dick for saying it) but telling you he has banged one out in your honour would make me drop him like a hot coal!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/12/2014 07:38

I would argue he messages like the real him and puts on a front in person.

CogitOIOIO · 09/12/2014 07:38

I don't think any slack should be given. Not only do immature twats have to be corrected, I think it's important to continue to tell girls and women that, if they encounter this kind of casual sexism, it's really not a compliment.

JapaneseMargaret · 09/12/2014 07:48

It's really, really not.

jakesmith · 09/12/2014 08:42

... that's not a fact though as you state it to be, no matter how much you would like it to be, it's an opinion

CogitOIOIO · 09/12/2014 08:50

Of course it's an opinion. The 'fact' is that sexism exists, misogyny exists and sexist, misogynistic references are all around us, persistently degrading women in the process. The 'opinion' is that this is not acceptable.

Joysmum · 09/12/2014 09:06

Women find men sexually attractive without knowing anything about them and men do the same. Some are just more upfront about it than others.

TheHermitCrab · 09/12/2014 09:10

I feel sorry for the women who would take this as a compliment, and the women who say you need a sense of humor. These are the same women who will be posting on here months later asking why their OH is a sexist, selfish twat flirting with other women or using porn when they don't agree with it (OK I'm generalising here, but still... the kind of guy who uses the word MILF on a first date isn't really the kind of guy worried about respecting women).

And as for the men posting on here also deeming it a compliment, and that most of us need a sense of humor, seriously?

I have a pretty twisted/dark sense of humor, find things funny that other people wouldn't, and it definitely reflects my character as a person (don't expect me to be PC) BUT In terms of dating someone, and a first date, I'm not saying don't be yourself, hey if he wants a MILF he can have one - there seem to be posters who wouldn't mind being one so there's plenty about. But if this lady is looking for a decent man, who isn't just out for a shag and some fun, and she's already questioning his way of complimenting her - then she may as well steer clear instead of bothering with him.

Also - did someone say he mentioned pleasuring himself over her???? or was that just a suggestion? Creepy.

CogitOIOIO · 09/12/2014 09:17

He was thinking about her as he 'relieved himself'.... Confused I dread to think...

TheHermitCrab · 09/12/2014 09:19

Oh lord....

I mean I know some people talk like that further on into a relationship. All good fun I suppose.

But first date??

So you're a mother he'd like to fuck and he's having a wank over you at home?

And people think you should take it as a compliment and have a sense of humour.

oook. :s

Original poster
gottafindaman4yagirl · 09/12/2014 09:27

TheHermit The guy said that he got a semi after looking at my bum in pub and pleasured himself later that day thinking about me.
I told him that he's turned me right off him and goodbye, he apologised loads and asked if i would give him a chance to make amends, i definitely think he will think twice before calling a woman milf, he'll probably still think it.

OP posts:
TheHermitCrab · 09/12/2014 09:32

gottafindaman4yagirl

The fact he said all those things to you and needed to be informed that it wasn't a turn on or appropriate makes you wonder who he's been with (or not!) in the past.

He'll probably think twice about saying it, immature fool, lucky for you he said it and you know what he's like.

CogitOIOIO · 09/12/2014 09:34

He's obviously more used to talking to women via a web-cam... having first handed over his credit card details. Confused

Joysmum · 09/12/2014 09:38

He's really misjudged you by thinking all you wanted was sex (many women do, you're just not one of them).

If he'd only kept his sexual thoughts about you quiet and carried on trying to build a relationship he may we'll have got to indulge his fantasy down the line if you'd been up for it.

By ditching him, you've taught him a lesson and he may well be more successful with the next one. If he's learnt anything it's keeping thoughts of sex to himself so he can play the next one and not be honest.